Lenore blinked in surprise at the statement that she'd slipped past his guard. Her fingers paused, a pawn hovering above the chessboard as her whole mind ground to a halt for a moment and then restarted in a new gear.
She'd slipped past his guard--or 'might' have, he'd buffered the statement with a caveat. What did that imply? He trusted her? Or something more nuanced?
She desperately wanted to learn more, to find out what that meant and make space for herself inside his guard. He felt as unreachable as the stars, lofty and cool, and most of the time she couldn't read any emotion off of him other than 'polite interest'. Who was he, beyond the walls that he put up to keep other people at a distance?
So much of her skills and experience had made her a master at worming her way within emotional defenses, especially with men, and thereby gaining influence and power. She was such an expert that in this case, apparently, she'd done so without meaning to. But she didn't want to manipulate him in that way. And she absolutely didn't want him to suspect that she was manipulating him in that way.
She wanted to step inside his defenses. His comment was the tiniest bit almost like an offer for her to do so. An invitation, even if he hadn't meant to offer it. But she wasn't sure how to seize that opportunity without being ... the Lenore who had been the mistress of vampire kings, who had spent every day making subtle nudgings and coercions in order to keep herself valuable enough to be kept alive, charming enough to be treated with kindness.
There was no safer place than by his side, within his protection, and she valued his company. But she wasn't sure how to keep that place without him eventually suspecting her of being the manipulative courtesan that she had almost always been. A woman who gained and kept power through her sexuality. If two hundred years of habit kicked in and she slipped into that persona, she imagined he'd be ... displeased, to say the least. That made it dangerous to try and move herself closer to his side, to step within his defenses. And even if she tried to be forthright about the possibility--hey, so I might occasionally fall back on seductress habits--that wouldn't preclude him seeing her as manipulative and false if it happened. How would she manage to survive that?
She lowered the pawn into its rightful place on the board, and then returned her hands to her lap, blinking a few times as she came back from the long tangent of her thoughts and down to the crux of the matter. She wanted. She feared.
"What--" She began, eyes lifting back to him, wary and almost shy as she tried to shape her question. "Who are you, past your guard? I know that you're a scientist, a philosopher, driven by knowledge in nearly every capacity, but I haven't been able to read any emotions from you other than the occasional hint of amusement or irritation. What will I find, if I slip past your guard?"
no subject
She'd slipped past his guard--or 'might' have, he'd buffered the statement with a caveat. What did that imply? He trusted her? Or something more nuanced?
She desperately wanted to learn more, to find out what that meant and make space for herself inside his guard. He felt as unreachable as the stars, lofty and cool, and most of the time she couldn't read any emotion off of him other than 'polite interest'. Who was he, beyond the walls that he put up to keep other people at a distance?
So much of her skills and experience had made her a master at worming her way within emotional defenses, especially with men, and thereby gaining influence and power. She was such an expert that in this case, apparently, she'd done so without meaning to. But she didn't want to manipulate him in that way. And she absolutely didn't want him to suspect that she was manipulating him in that way.
She wanted to step inside his defenses. His comment was the tiniest bit almost like an offer for her to do so. An invitation, even if he hadn't meant to offer it. But she wasn't sure how to seize that opportunity without being ... the Lenore who had been the mistress of vampire kings, who had spent every day making subtle nudgings and coercions in order to keep herself valuable enough to be kept alive, charming enough to be treated with kindness.
There was no safer place than by his side, within his protection, and she valued his company. But she wasn't sure how to keep that place without him eventually suspecting her of being the manipulative courtesan that she had almost always been. A woman who gained and kept power through her sexuality. If two hundred years of habit kicked in and she slipped into that persona, she imagined he'd be ... displeased, to say the least. That made it dangerous to try and move herself closer to his side, to step within his defenses. And even if she tried to be forthright about the possibility--hey, so I might occasionally fall back on seductress habits--that wouldn't preclude him seeing her as manipulative and false if it happened. How would she manage to survive that?
She lowered the pawn into its rightful place on the board, and then returned her hands to her lap, blinking a few times as she came back from the long tangent of her thoughts and down to the crux of the matter. She wanted. She feared.
"What--" She began, eyes lifting back to him, wary and almost shy as she tried to shape her question. "Who are you, past your guard? I know that you're a scientist, a philosopher, driven by knowledge in nearly every capacity, but I haven't been able to read any emotions from you other than the occasional hint of amusement or irritation. What will I find, if I slip past your guard?"