"Not about them," he said stubbornly, though he was happy to hear that Gansey was doing well. They had wrote to each other on occasion, actually, but Gansey never made mention of Adam in his letters. Much as Ronan had considered asking, he had decided not to, in the end. Blue, on the other hand, he hadn't cared too much about. Whatever romantic business that was going on involving her, he had usually made it his business to not know. But she was an asshole, one of the finest, and he respected that much. She was the only one of his so-called peers that also got arrested. There was solidarity in that.
"You. What the fuck did Declan do?" Of course, he was quick to blame Declan, though the fact that his leaving clearly had an impact on his friend wasn't lost on him. Ronan finally turned his intense gaze on Adam, making unrelenting and unforgiving eye-contact with the other man.
"This wasn't what I wanted. I didn't think—I had thought they would keep treating you as they had before. I'm a fucking idiot, clearly."
Planning wasn't a strong suit of his when he was spiraling into near-suicidal depression. It was better than he wasn't here for his drunken nights, the brawls, dragging himself back to his room bloodied and furious.
Ronan pressed his lips together again. He knew very well why Adam didn't just leave; he needed a recommendation and reference. Declan, asshole he was, would never give one to a perfectly good servant. Adam withstood being treated like trash and worked hard. Ronan had always known that. No doubt it had only gotten worse. Why would Declan let him leave?
"I won't be staying long," he said, turning his attention back to the horse that was looking for another kiss. He gave it, again, between the eyes. The horse made a pleased sound.
"Maybe a few months. Be my valet during that time. When I leave, I'll write you the best recommendation a man can write. You'll be able to go anywhere you want."
Ronan glanced up at Adam again, his heart clenching. Anywhere meant away from Ronan, yes, but... he had no right to ask Adam to stay with him. Not after what he pulled. Ronan was honest, even with himself. He fucked up. Even if Adam was his first love, his current love, he deserved better.
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"You. What the fuck did Declan do?" Of course, he was quick to blame Declan, though the fact that his leaving clearly had an impact on his friend wasn't lost on him. Ronan finally turned his intense gaze on Adam, making unrelenting and unforgiving eye-contact with the other man.
"This wasn't what I wanted. I didn't think—I had thought they would keep treating you as they had before. I'm a fucking idiot, clearly."
Planning wasn't a strong suit of his when he was spiraling into near-suicidal depression. It was better than he wasn't here for his drunken nights, the brawls, dragging himself back to his room bloodied and furious.
Ronan pressed his lips together again. He knew very well why Adam didn't just leave; he needed a recommendation and reference. Declan, asshole he was, would never give one to a perfectly good servant. Adam withstood being treated like trash and worked hard. Ronan had always known that. No doubt it had only gotten worse. Why would Declan let him leave?
"I won't be staying long," he said, turning his attention back to the horse that was looking for another kiss. He gave it, again, between the eyes. The horse made a pleased sound.
"Maybe a few months. Be my valet during that time. When I leave, I'll write you the best recommendation a man can write. You'll be able to go anywhere you want."
Ronan glanced up at Adam again, his heart clenching. Anywhere meant away from Ronan, yes, but... he had no right to ask Adam to stay with him. Not after what he pulled. Ronan was honest, even with himself. He fucked up. Even if Adam was his first love, his current love, he deserved better.
"Does that sound like a fair deal?"