marlowemuses | Lover, I know you're weary

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Lover, I know you're weary

It was a subtle thing. King Auguste wasn't sure how long it had been going on without him noticing. Months. Perhaps even years--Laurent was an introspective creature, and Auguste hadn't thought to look for signs of Laurent's infatuations. Laurent was nineteen now, and Auguste supposed that Laurent must have started feeling romantic attraction years before, but Auguste had never noticed. Laurent was still his baby brother, bookish and shy.

Laurent trotted after them everywhere. He was like a cat, in that it was hard to tell he liked you at all until you noticed that he took care to be in the same room as you as often as possible. Nyx was Auguste's best friend and his trusted guard captain, and it was often the three of them together. They were Auguste's closest and most trusted advisors.

So it took Auguste some time to notice that Laurent's eyes followed Nyx around a room. Even when he noticed, he thought that Laurent had developed some suspicion about Nyx. It took longer for Auguste to notice that on very rare occasions, Laurent's lips would part when he looked at Nyx and an expression of yearning would cross his face.

It was sweet, and at first Auguste dismissed it as a crush.

After four months, Auguste realized that Laurent was in love, and that he would never say anything and Nyx would never notice. So he hatched a plan.

It took some time for him to get a chance to speak to Nyx alone without Laurent present.

"I have a strange request to make of you," Auguste said. His eyes lingered on the door where Laurent had recently left.

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Laurent's guardedness sharpens at the first jest and reaches icy by the second one. Though he continues the dance, he's stiff now and the movements are automatic. "No. I would be very displeased to have my guardsman start a duel for reasons I do not know or understand."

It's a second chance--a last chance--for Nyx to explain his strange behavior. Even if Auguste has put restrictions upon him as to what he can and cannot reveal, Laurent cannot accept a situation like this, having his hands tied socially and Nyx acting unpredictably.

Nyx can't quite hide his wince at Laurent's stern tone and icy look. How much is he allowed to reveal of Auguste's orders? The King hadn't told him to keep everything close to his chest, but Nyx had never been particularly good at games of words and omission. Better to fall deaf and mute and take whatever consequences fall his way than to betray his liege's directives.

But this is Laurent asking him, and beneath the clear note of command there's a faint tinge of bewilderment, unhappiness in the stiffness of his spine and in the wariness in his eyes that Nyx can't help but want to soothe away. Even if it's not his place.

"Let's just say, Your Highness, that I have clear instructions to keep myself on a very short leash when it comes to your..." How the hell is he supposed to put this? "...virtue."

Nope, that wasn't it. When Nyx puts it that way, he sounds positively nefarious. Still, too late now to take it back, so he just plows on forward, trying to mask the moment's awkwardness with a crooked smile that hangs wicked and weary on his lips.

"Consider me your overly protective guard dog, Your Highness." Just then, he happens to meet the gaze of one of the nobles lingering upon the edge of the dance floor, glaring daggers in their direction-- specifically in Nyx's direction. Nyx flashes the woman a lazy smile, unoffensive and perfectly pleased, just barely manages to quash a sigh as she scowls. "Woof."

Nyx is so ridiculous and awkward that Laurent can't help but soften, reassured by Nyx doing his best to be truthful despite whatever restrictions Auguste put on him.

"I want to leave now," Laurent murmurs to him, ceasing the dance and starting to move toward the door, trusting that Nyx is coming with him. He doesn't care about the murmurs when he doesn't finish the dance. They've got people murmuring plenty already.

His eyes meet Nyx's briefly once they reach the relative safety of the hallway. Laurent's expression is defensive and wary, but his trust of Nyx has returned. Whatever is happening, he doesn't think it's Nyx's doing.

Making his way down the hall to his brother's room, Laurent nods to the guards and waits for them to open the doors for him. He knows perfectly well that Auguste is still back at the court, and may not be back for hours. "Send for wine," Laurent orders one of the guards as he heads into Auguste's private antechamber to wait. He knows perfectly well that no one else would be allowed in to Auguste's rooms without invitation and that Auguste will be informed at the door of his visitor.

Flopping down onto a couch in the semi-formal antechamber that Auguste uses for only his most private audiences, Laurent's eyes fix upon Nyx, studying him carefully. "Auguste told you--what, not to let anyone speak to me privately? Is he out of his mind?"

"Something like that."

Sounds about right, if he was being honest. Nyx keeps his hands behind his back, spine straight and shoulders tense, forcing himself to not shuffle beneath Laurent's searching gaze. Veretians being Veretians, very few of the people who approached Laurent did so with only a single objective in mind, but flirtation could account for a good number of them. In the past, Nyx had had to chase off overly persistent suitors and lustful rakes with an eye to adding the young prince as to notch to their belts, but always with Auguste's blessings and Laurent's thankful expression to spur him on. But now...?

Laurent is of age, after all-- what if he took a liking to one of his fellow nobles? What if he wanted some privacy of his own, without the King's hound dogging his heels?

"I don't presume to know His Majesty's intentions." Said stone-faced, about as close to agreement as he can manage without confirming anything outright. Auguste wants to grant me a title and strip me of everything I worked for, everything I protect. Earned, my ass. I want to protect you, but not like this. "I..." Nyx looks away, unable to hold Laurent's gaze. "This wouldn't be by my choice."

"I understand that," Laurent says. He gestures to the opposite end of the couch in invitation. "Sit. We're friends. I understand this isn't your choice."

His gaze lingers on Nyx, however, searching for any additional clues in his expression. "My first theory, of course, was that there was some hint of assassination and Auguste wanted me ignorant in order to keep me from stiffening up and giving away that I had something to be wary of. Clearly that's out. Or that Auguste suspected me of something and was using you to hamper my movements. Also out. And you're genuinely out of the loop. So Auguste is up to something, possibly involving marrying me off. Thoughts?"

The question is a trap. He doesn't even need to hide it, when it comes to Nyx.

"Uh..." There's Nyx, master of keeping secrets. Good thing Auguste had given him very little to work off of, besides the knowledge of his own impending... promotion. If that's what it could be called. But perhaps Nyx's inability to answer is answer enough, in a way. An assassin or some suspicion of treachery is undoubtedly the sort of scheme where the king would have involved his Captain of the Guard, given him a full briefing and instructions. Something involving politicking and the nebulous preparations of marrying off a prince?

...Perhaps not.

"I couldn't tell you, Your Highn-- sorry, Laurent." Nyx shrugs a little helplessly, shoulders stiff even as he takes a seat on the other end of the couch. "It's all beyond me. He didn't give me any instruction for how to carry out my orders either, other than to... uh, get it done."

Feeling rather useless, he finds himself adding: "Maybe he just got tired of all the court rakes leering whenever you walked past. As if any of those lot even have a chance."

Laurent rubs at the bridge of his nose, head aching. A guard comes in with his wine goblet and a refill decanter and he receives it gratefully, waiting only until the guard leaves before he drinks.

"I certainly don't mind the reprieve from being pawed at by half the court," Laurent comments, slumping back against the couch and stretching one leg out with a sort of aggressive idleness. "But I do mind being caught wrong-footed like that. I need to know what's expected of me, or else you and I are going to spend a few weeks avoiding the court entirely."

Draining the first cup of wine, Laurent lets it dangle from his hand and tips his head up toward the ceiling. "We could leave the court. Visit some of the provinces and crown holdings."

Nyx hesitates at the suggestion-- somehow, it seems... a little too easy, a little too convenient a solution. Escape the confines of court, the stiff necked nobles, the eager, honey-tongued courtiers with their hungry eyes affixed upon Laurent, hell, maybe even make that round of the border outposts he'd just been thinking about. After all, Augustus hadn't decreed that they stay within the palace, or even the capital.

"I... if that is what you wish, Your Highness." Caught off guard, Nyx defaults back to formalities once more. After all, it doesn't really matter what his preferences might be. Auguste had given Nyx his orders; if Laurent makes the decision to go on a grand tour of Vere, he would follow without question.

Laurent shot Nyx a challenging raised eyebrow at the use of his title. At which point his mind took the opportunity to float the idea of climbing into Nyx's lap and kissing him until the titles stopped.

Immediately looking away, Laurent reached for the decanter of wine to refill his goblet. A guilty blush colored his cheeks and he internally berated himself for the infatuation.

Auguste rescued him a moment later by strolling into the room. The king did not seem surprised to see either of them.

"Oh, look, it's my keeper," Laurent drawled, greeting his brother with a glare. "So you demoted and insulted your guard captain, and I'm to be babysat at all times. Is he also required to watch me sleep?"

"Good evening, Laurent, Nyx." Auguste unfastened some of the heavy attachments on his formal tunic, and picked up the decanter of wine, moving it to a table out of Laurent's reach.

Laurent glared furiously at him.

With Auguste's entrance, Nyx doesn't know if he should feel worried or relieved. Auguste alone holds the answers to Laurent's questions, questions that Nyx himself would very much like to have answered. And yet... if the King has some deeper design in mind or prefers to keep his own counsel-- or hell, just wanted a change in the Guard and so shuffled Nyx into this new role, who is Nyx to gainsay him?

"Good evening, Your Majesty." In sharp contrast to his attempt at formality with Laurent, Nyx is rarely ever so formal with Auguste. But right now, not knowing his own purpose or where he stands with the King...

"I'm sure you'll be happy to hear that I've stopped no fewer than three attempted assassinations against Laurent today. In fact, Marquis Pellio very nearly caught and talked him to death."

Laurent's mouth quirked at Nyx's sass, grateful for it. He felt like he had Nyx on his side, and that was a nice feeling. He wasn't used to Nyx prioritizing him over his brother.

"Admirably done," Auguste praised Nyx. Not standing on any ceremony before the two of them, Auguste began to loosen the complicated laces at the throat of his tunic.

"How am I supposed to take this as anything but an insult?" Laurent pressed, hoping to force Auguste onto the defensive. "You don't trust your brother and your captain of the guard. What is it, you've gone paranoid and suspect me of designs on the throne?"

"You know it's not an insult," Auguste said, unruffled. "You know I'm up to something."

"I could help," Laurent said, studying his brother intently for any clue.

Auguste smiled, enjoying Laurent's frustration with a puzzle he couldn't solve. "No."

"You intend to marry me off," Laurent accused.

"Yes."

Laurent went very still, with streaks of color forming high on his cheeks.

Beside him, Nyx stiffens as well, barely masking the dismay that flashes through his eyes.

"Auguste, that's..." Nyx trails off, not sure how to phrase his protest. Not sure if he even ought to protest. As Captain of the Guard, he'd stayed well out of the games of power, of politics and nobility, save when he intervened on the King's orders. But surely if Laurent were to be married, it should be for a love match. Not... for the game of power and alliances, as Laurent's phrasing seems to imply.

Maybe he's misunderstood.

"Isn't it a little early to be considering such things?" A weak objection, certainly, but Nyx can't think of anything better at the moment.

“He’s nineteen,” Auguste answered. “That’s plenty old enough.”

“If it’s a woman—“ Laurent started.

“It isn’t. I’ve taken your preferences into consideration. Male, handsome, muscular.” Auguste smirks a little as he lists off qualities.

Laurent’s surprised that Auguste knows all that. He didn’t think Auguste had ever paid that much attention to the things he kept secret. He flushes, tense and careful not to look at Nyx, who epitomizes the description. "There must be some advantage in the union. Are you selling me for an alliance?"

"I'm not telling you that."

Maybe it's his own naivete showing, the fact that even after ten years, he still hasn't accustomed himself to the cutthroat politics and subtle political plays of the Veretian court. Nyx doesn't care; the high, unhappy red flush of Laurent's face is more than he can allow, insubordination be damned. He may have been stripped of his title as Captain of the Guard, but the King himself had granted him this new assignment and Nyx would carry it out to his death, if need be.

"Quit it with the mysterious bullshit, Auguste. I know you've got yourself sunk eyeballs deep in politics and intrigue all day, but Laurent at least deserves to know who you have in mind." More than that, Laurent deserves to choose, to have his pick of the best and cleverest, finest men in Vere and beyond. Laurent himself deserves only the best.

"Very well," Auguste said, with a wide, leonine grin, because here they were dragging out of him the information he'd planned all along to give. He looked at Laurent, holding his eyes as he announced: "You'll marry the Duke of Amberley."

Laurent's brow creased briefly with confusion, because he can't immediately place that name. He knows all the nobles of the court and most of the noble houses of neighboring countries. Amberley is a Veretian name, but... there hasn't been an Amberley in decades.

"There isn't one," Laurent insists, less certain than he would like.

"There will be by the time you're married." Auguste points at the door, patient but commanding, and very careful not to look at Nyx. He doesn't want to draw Laurent's eyes to Nyx's reaction and give the game away. "Go."

All these years in court, and Nyx still doesn't have a face for cards, unable to disguise the look of utter shock and confusion that dawns over his expression as Auguste's words sink in.

On his king's orders, he trails after Laurent out the room, still in that same state of wordless shock. By the time Laurent finally turns to speak to him, Nyx has himself in at least some semblance of control, expression schooled to blank neutrality. After all, despite everything-- his own confusion, bafflement, the dawning realization of what Auguste's pronouncement really means, he hasn't forgotten his vow to his liege-- to keep quiet about his upcoming "promotion," as bad an idea as it may seem.

"We're leaving in the morning," Laurent announces by the time they're halfway down the hall. He doesn't look at Nyx. He doesn't want Nyx to have a clearer view of the bitter pain on his face, and thus has no idea of Nyx's reaction to the news.

He'd meant to ask--or tell--Auguste about his travel plans, but that had all gone awry in their conversation.

Laurent heads for the safety of his room, commanding more wine from a servant along the way.

Walking swiftly, Laurent keeps his expression cold and angry until he's safe in his room with only Nyx, and he can let a few of the fractures show. "This isn't like him. It's cruel. He's toying with me and withholding information for his own amusement. He's never been cruel before."

Sinking down onto a couch in his room, Laurent rests his elbows against the arm of the couch and lets his head hang over them. Even though he'd spent all his life expecting to be married off for political advantage, he'd still held out hope that he might be allowed to marry for love. And now Auguste is stealing that away without any comfort or reassurance behind his choice, without even a bare explanation. It's nothing like the kind and patient brother that Laurent knows, and the betrayal of it makes him want to cry.

Shit. Shit Laurent's reaction tells Nyx everything he needs to know-- Auguste had misjudged, had overstepped. And by his liege's orders, Nyx is forced to withhold information from the prince as well. Faced with Laurent's furious, betrayed expression... he swallows hard, forcing his fisted hands to unclench from his sides.

Sinking to his knees before him, Nyx takes one of Laurent's hands into his own, holding it cupped between callused fingers.

"Hey, easy," he murmurs, unsure if his reassurance would be welcome. "Nothing is set in stone yet. Auguste can still come to his senses. I'll speak with him myself, if you'd like. This is... this isn't fair to you."

Laurent's head lifts in surprise as Nyx takes his hand. He's not used to being touched at all, and this doting affection is everything that he wants. He barely hears what Nyx's is saying because he's so caught up in the gentle, worried expression and the way Nyx is holding his hand.

He's been besotted with Nyx for years, but he's never had Nyx's focused attention the way he has it now, and it makes his heart ache with love.

Unable to resist, especially now that he might not have another chance and now that it's an act of direct rebellion against his brother's wishes, Laurent leans in and kisses Nyx. It's soft and sweet, barely there, because Laurent doesn't want to force anything more than that upon Nyx.

One kiss, and Nyx's thoughts fall clear out of his head-- he'd been worried for Laurent, worried and outraged at Auguste, mentally tallying up years worth of service and trying to come up with arguments to dissuade his liege, and then--

Laurent's lips are unimaginably soft, pressed light as breath against his own in a chaste and careful kiss-- and Nyx feels it like a spike of desire hammered straight through his spine, a hot thrill racing through his blood, heat pooling in his groin. Unable to help himself, he leans eagerly into the kiss, lips parting in a rush of warm breath...

...before he comes to his damned senses, jerking away with a strangled sound, all the color drained from his face as he stares at Laurent, unable to disguise the shock in his eyes. And hoping against hope that the reaction Laurent's kiss had caused in him isn't as obvious as it feels. And what the fuck is wrong with him anyway? He's not-- some horny teenager anymore, ready to fall head over heels in lust for any pretty face that walks by. Nyx has kissed (and done more than kiss) plenty of sweet faced boys and handsome girls in his time; Laurent is beautiful (very, very beautiful, his mind unhelpfully supplies), but that doesn't mean....

"I, uh," he swallows and tries again, "Your Highness..."

For one perfect, wondrous moment, Nyx is kissing him back, pressing into it to encourage more. Then it's over and Nyx looks devastated.

Heart reeling at the emotional whiplash, Laurent puts a soft, apologetic smile on his face, hiding all the pain of the rejection. He knows how he has to handle this, even though it may cost him. It was his own choice, his own trespass, and he has to make sure that Nyx doesn't suffer guilt over it.

"Sorry," he murmurs, gentle and sweet, revealing the shy softness that he usually keeps hidden. "Thought it might be the last chance I had to kiss someone I wanted to kiss."

He draws back a little, giving Nyx some space to process that. He knows it'll embarrass Nyx, knowing that the prince has a crush on him. His best friend's kid brother. But that, at least, will make it harmless. Nyx will be able to dismiss a childish infatuation, and no one will be the worse for Laurent's little misjudgement. The kiss will live safe in Laurent's memory, and all will be well.

"Please forgive me."

Someone I wanted to kiss. And just like that, whatever haphazard attempt Nyx was making to gather his tattered shreds of good sense and dignity is lost. His gaze flicks up from where he'd been staring fixedly upon the floor, eyes widening at the tentative, apologetic smile on Laurent's face. Nyx had only ever caught glimpses of this shy and vulnerable side of Laurent in passing, and even then he'd wanted nothing more than to gather the young prince into his arms and hold him close, protect him from the ills of the world.

In this moment, Laurent could ask him for the moon and stars, and Nyx would climb right into the sky to gather them for him, if only he'd stop looking at him like that.

"No, there's nothing-- Your Highness, please, you don't need to apologize." He's babbling now, and he doesn't know how to stop, grabbing for Laurent's hand in an attempt at a reassuring squeeze. "You've done nothing wrong. You know that I'm at your disposal. Anything you want. Anything at all."

Laurent squeezes his hand in return, charmed as ever by Nyx's earnest desire to please, and his smile becomes a more genuine and less apologetic.

Cupping his free hand around Nyx's cheek, Laurent brushes his thumb along the edge of Nyx's cheekbone, admiring him. "Careful," he murmurs, low and flirtatious. "You might give me the idea that you'd like to be kissed again. Though the 'your highness' is rather discouraging."

"Uh..."

If anything, Nyx looks like a deer caught in a hunter's sights, stilling like a wild creature about to bolt beneath Laurent's light touch. What is he supposed to say? How should he respond? Heady desire, duty, and some remaining scrap of propriety have a quick tussle in his head, with no clear winner.

When in doubt, try to turn it into a joke. Nyx manages something like an approximation of a chuckle, quirking a brow up at Laurent.

"If you wanted to practice kissing, Your-- Laurent, you know you have better options than the court's resident unwashed barbarian, don't you?"

"I'd be willing to personally oversee the bathing," Laurent flirts, unable to resist continuing to tease Nyx.

But then he draws his hand away, because he's not sure and he doesn't want Nyx to feel obligated. "Who are these 'better options'? My future husband, maybe? This mystery duke?" Laurent glances away, tension returning to his body as he shutters his soft flirtatiousness away again.

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