marlowemuses | Facing my wine, I did not see the dusk

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Facing my wine, I did not see the dusk

Frustrated at his lack of progress, Huaisang wanders aimlessly through the halls. He empties his mind, taking turns at random, letting his feet carry him where they will. The most important thing is to be truly aimless.

A man with a tendency for "aimless wandering" who keeps wandering into important corridors, knocking over important records, and forgetting to announce himself outside of doors where important conversations are taking place, well, that man's an enemy who needs to get murdered. A man with a tendency for aimless wandering who tends to get lost and show up in the horse stables or the laundry far more often than he turns up anywhere strategically important, well, that man's just an idiot. No need to worry on the rare occasions that he wanders himself somewhere with secrets. No need to guard one's conversation in front of him.

Huaisang scratches at his head with his closed fan, thinking about his conversation with Meng Yao rather than where he's going. There'd been a stranger in the room when he'd entered. A foreigner, taller than anyone else in the room. And Meng Yao hadn't dismissed him, not even for Huaisang's antics.

Third brother, I don't know what to do, there are monsters popping up in the forest south-west of Qinghe. Can you send some of the cultivators from the watchtowers you built? Isn't that why you built them? No, of course I don't mind your cultivators crossing into Qinghe territory, why would I?

Third brother, the Nie Sect has still not rebuilt from the war and there are not enough generals to teach the new recruits, what will I do? Can you send some of your generals to help to teach them? No, of course I don't mind having Jin Sect cultivators in the heart of Qinghe, why would I?

Yes, of course we'll provide the Jin Sect with steel from the mines at a discount. Barely more than the cost of mining. I'm happy to do it, third brother. You do so much for us.

Third brother, my second cousin says that he needs money for a new roof but there isn't money in the treasury, what should I do?

Finally Meng Yao sent him away as Huaisang's problems became more and more petty and foolish, and Huaisang went back to the rooms where he always stayed when he came to visit Meng Yao. And Huaisang was so often in need of his dead brother's sworn brother's guidance that he spent almost as much time in Lanling as he spent in Qinghe.

And he, of course, had a tendency for aimless wandering. Which was just as well considering he had no plan.

His first plan had ended in tragedy. His other efforts had garnered some gems of information, but it wasn't enough. Years had passed, and all he had was the word of a maidservant and an elderly prostitute. That wasn't nearly enough to bring down the most honorable and powerful man in the cultivation world. He needed someone stronger. He needed Wei Wuxian, but there was no use wishing for the help of the dead.

Mulling over his own helplessness, Huaisang had genuinely no idea where he was when he turned a corner and walked into a warm, solid chest.

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"Oh," Loki breathes out with amusement, "yours, I think. There is something in my mind about state guest rooms, and whether or not they're in use at all times, and whether or not someone could use that as a flimsy excuse to try and barge in unannounced..." He waves his free hand a bit lazily, enjoying the feel of Huaisang leaning against his arm. "Also the rooms are a bit plain for my tastes, and I'd like to see where you stay when you're here."

Plus, he imagines no one will rouse them in the morning looking for Loki in particular, so. The more time he gets to spend with Huaisang, the better, in his current inebriated opinion (and sobriety is unlikely to change his mind). He grins back down at Huaisang. "If that's all right with you?"

Huaisang nods and gives him a happy, fond smile in return, getting just a little blushy and dopey as he gazes so far up into such a handsome face. "Meng Yao spoils me. He has always spoiled me. He--I'll tell you the story."

With the anchor point of the gate, Huaisang does better at navigating through the palace, and it's not difficult to know where he's going when he sticks to the largest main routes.

"Meng Yao's mother was a very beautiful and very talented courtesan of remarkable intelligence, while his father was the leader of this sect. Since his father had ... a fondness for making children and then not keeping track of them, Meng Yao grew up without any wealth or support from his father, and his mother died young. But because he was very intelligent and talented in his own right, and because she taught him to read and write and do mathematics, he was able to take work as a clerk and then improve his station, eventually becoming second in command to my brother. I was a young teenager at the time, and he was with us for some years. He cared for me and protected me, and--like most people--had a tendency to spoil me. I think... I am almost certainly one of his favorite people in the world. You saw how he tolerates me even when I am being difficult. He has always solved my problems for me."

Huaisang's voice is fond but also sad, with a deep loneliness and sorrow beneath the words. He sighs as he finishes up his little story and falls quiet, though he continues walking toward his own rooms.

"The loss of your brother must have been quite the devastation for the both of you." Loki watches Huaisang's expression, biting back the desire to touch the other man's face before they're behind closed and hopefully locked doors.

He doesn't know enough details... about the death of Huaisang's brother, or Meng Yao's dead siblings between himself and the seat of power he sits upon now. He doesn't know what Huaisang knows, or believes, about those two "events". If they're connected. If he's in denial about it, like so many here appear to be.

He's not going to find out tonight. He's not even going to try.

"He must be very proud of you, your brother. You're doing so much for your people."

Huaisang nods at his comments. He feels a deeply buried twinge of betrayal at what he knows about how Meng Yao actually felt about that loss, but he knows how to keep those things buried. On the surface, he keeps his more important feelings, his genuine loss and loneliness.

"That's kind of you to say, even if you're exaggerating. I'm fortunate to have very competent people helping me. I've always been good at making people like me and want to spoil me, so Meng Yao and Lan Xichen and all the bureaucrats and generals back home are very patient with all the things I don't understand."

Which is all entirely true, really. Huaisang's not an academic, but he's an exceptional manager, making people want to do their best to help him. He notices successful results and gives those people more power, while weaponizing his confusion and ignorance against anyone whose results he doesn't want to enable. He has one branch of cousins who have been complaining about the gold leaf flaking off their residence for years and the request just keeps getting lost due to Huaisang's helpless incompetence. The roads of Qinghe, meanwhile, have never been in better repair and their grain silos are full, because he promoted the people who understood how to make those things happen.

Finally Huaisang reaches a set of rooms, drawing open the doors. A lock dangles from one handle, unused. He'd left the rooms unlocked, despite Meng Yao's frequent scoldings that he should take more care with himself. Huaisang cannot allow himself to be vigilant or to have anything to hide. His escort from Qinghe stays elsewhere in the palace complex, somewhere more suited to their rank, and it drives them to distraction that Huaisang constantly insists that he needs no protection here and there's no need for them to keep an eye on his person or his possessions.

He has to leave himself vulnerable to Meng Yao. He has to. Only the open palm conceals no weapon.

The rooms themselves are beautiful and luxurious, all silk and gilt, painted screens and vases full of fresh peonies. A pair of bird cages sit at opposite ends of the main room, both birds rare and lovely, twittering prettily as Huaisang enters. Everything is chosen for beauty and pleasure, artfully arranged. Much of it personally selected and placed by Meng Yao, Huaisang is certain.

Only Huaisang himself stands out as out of place in the rooms. In this gold and cream room with pink accents, Huaisang seems glaringly misplaced in his streamlined silver robes.

"Isn't it lovely?" Huaisang asks, going over to one of the birds to fuss gently over it for a few moments. "As I said, Meng Yao spoils me."

Does Loki notice the undone lock? Of course. Does he say anything about it? No, because it confuses him, and he'd hate to admit confusion on that front or any for that particular matter.

Also, it's fine. Really. While Loki doesn't consider his own rooms secure in any particularly meaningful way, doesn't mean he can't accept merely a closed door on Huaisang's behalf. If someone comes in on them then perhaps Loki can engage in a magical test of wills with the guard (or whomever) and blame it on being startled.

Besides, there's the room to focus on now. The colors, the birds, the precise arranging of every item that speaks to a sense of care for the room's sole inhabitant and also... something else. Something that Loki feels has more to do with Meng Yao's taste than what little he knows of the man standing before him. Maybe it's just the contrast of colors. Maybe Loki is too suspicious for his own good and looking for patterns and meaning where there is none.

Maybe.

He smiles at Huaisang after taking a moment to look at the decor, the birds, the gilding. The man in front of him. Loki takes several steps further into the room and nods. "It is definitely that. You'll forgive me if I make attempts at comparing the beauty of the room to the beauty of the man in front of me, though I do think the latter causes the former to quite pale in comparison."

Can he kiss Huaisang here, he wonders? Are there servants waiting in the wings to see what happens?

Huaisang looks back at him with a grin at that line, very pleased and impressed with Loki's smoothness, even though he doesn't really believe that he himself outshines this room. Years of being outshone and forgotten by his friends has left Huaisang insecure, accustomed to being the one that people settle for because he's easy, not the one that people choose.

"Sounds like you've had too much to drink," Huaisang teases in return, but it certainly draws Huaisang away from his side and back over to Loki. He tugs at him, bringing him into the next room, which is a bedroom. There's a kneeling desk set up with a painting in progress, and it matches the room, not Huaisang. It's a beautiful piece, artfully done, showing a red-winged bird and a peony in bloom, all soft prettiness but with limited feeling, compared to the absolute mastery of the artwork on the fan Huaisang carries.

This room shows a little more of Huaisang's genuine clutter, discarded fans that don't match the carefully crafted aesthetic, outfits that didn't get selected, a bag of candies left sitting open, but even so it's limited. Huaisang tends toward tidiness, accustomed to the streamlined efficiency of the Nie Sect, but there's a boisterousness of his nature that isn't contained so strictly in the bedroom compared to the outer room.

Stepping close, Huaisang presses up against Loki, taking hold of his shirt and tugging playfully at him. "Shall we spend the rest of our evening in serious conversation?"

Not having yet realized that the fan is likely Huaisang's own artwork, Loki notes the painting in the bedroom with a momentary curiosity before his attentions are brought once again to the man to whom these rooms are assigned in the first place. His eyes sparkle with amusement at Huaisang's question, and Loki's expressive eyebrows do a dance full of suggestion on his forehead.

"Only in the sense that I am seriously interested in making you laugh, moan, sigh. But I do not think the entire conversation need be serious, no." Loki laughs, arms wrapping around Huaisang's waist, and leaning down with every intention of capturing Huaisang's lips with his own.

Huaisang laughs happily at the flirtation, leaning up on his tip toes to bridge a little of their height difference. His hands slide up Loki's chest to curl around the back of his head, gently welcoming him down as he meets the kiss.

Heart fluttering with pleasure, Huaisang makes a soft sound of yearning into the kiss, grateful that he hadn't been misreading the flirtation. He'd been achingly lonely for years, isolated from companionship both by the nature of his position and from his absolute paranoia after his brother's death, not allowing himself to be genuine with anyone.

But Loki was a foreigner, uninvolved in his brother's murder from years ago, unlikely to stay for long, and he needed nothing from Huaisang but companionship. Huaisang knew he had to be wary of the possibility that Loki was Meng Yao's creature, but he'd kept his foolish, helpless mask in place for years, only ever letting it down around a tiny handful of his most trusted ministers. He doubted that a honey trap would be able to crack what paranoid, scheming, murderously brilliant Meng Yao himself never had.

One of Loki's hands moves from Huaisang's waist in order to cup the other man's chin, tilting his face just so in order for Loki to deepen the kiss. The soft, needful little noise Huaisang makes goes straight to Loki's cock, honestly, and he gently nips at the other man's lower lip.

"Before I get to far ahead of myself," Loki interrupts (with more than a little resignation at himself for the timing), "I want to know if there's anything you'd rather I not do this evening." Which is also a very neatly arranged opportunity for Huaisang to tell him what he would prefer.

Huaisang moans as Loki deepens the kiss, hands tightening in Loki's hair as he presses himself up into it, needy whimpers getting more frequent as the kiss continues.

A little whine escapes him as it breaks, but he cuts that off quickly, flushed and panting as his gaze flicks over Loki's face to make sure that it's not displeasure with him that made the kiss break. His grin returns quickly at what he sees, leaning comfortably against Loki's chest and taking a moment to consider his response. His fingers trace idle patterns against Loki's shoulder, and he licks his lips thoughtfully, savoring the taste of Loki on his mouth.

"I like being indulged," Huaisang murmurs. "Spoiled with pleasure and attention. Talk as dirty as you want, but make me feel desired and valued, not cheap. I like being ... fucked. And it's ... been a while." Ducking his head shyly as he admits that, Huaisang bites down on his lower lip, taking a moment to recover control of his insecurity so that he can continue. "Aside from that, um. I don't like ... messy things. I mean, semen's fine. But even that I'd rather have it in me than on me unless it's getting cleaned up promptly."

Cheeks flaming as he tenses up, insecurity spiking badly enough that he can't manage to lift his eyes above the level of Loki's throat. The certainty that no one desires him makes it cripplingly difficult to state his preferences rather than to just adapt himself to please a partner, and he's immediately terrified that he's ruined his chances if Loki's displeased by any of Huaisang's requests.

Huaisang's tensing, the fact that the other man won't look him in the eye after what Loki considers a quite fair and reasonable list of desires and dislikes, speaks volumes to the demigod. He tilts Huaisang's face towards him once again, and gives the other man a soft but intense kiss, full of promise.

"Clean up is not a problem," Loki promises, because he, too, doesn't tend towards indulging in mess for the pure sake of messiness... if there's no purpose or point, then why bother being all sticky? Plus you know. Magic. Speaking of which, he wiggles his fingers a little bit. "And I thank you for letting me know what you like. What are you feelings on markings? From kisses, or bites, nothing that could be seen by anyone who would not see you... disrobed, hm?"

There's no resistance as Loki lifts his chin, happy to yield to a gentle touch. He gives another longing sound at that kiss, leaning up again and opening his eyes with trust showing again.

"Yes, please." Huaisang's eyes flick down only briefly in shyness before he manages to hold Loki's gaze again, entranced by his dazzling blue eyes. "Don't break skin. Otherwise anything concealed beneath my clothes is fine."

Regaining some of his former boldness, Huaisang's clever fingers start seeking the fastenings of Loki's clothes, trying to figure out how the exotic foreign clothing can be removed. His own apparel is mostly tied shut, easy to unravel each layer by pulling the bows loose, but there are layers aplenty--he wears an outer mantle, outer robes, inner robes, trousers, undershirt (which is really just another thin silk robe, tied to one side), and under-trousers. "May I leave marks on you in return?"

"I would be deeply wounded if you did not." Loki is not dressed in the fashion of the region but he is beginning to rethink that decision; there is something very satisfying about unwrapping Huaisang much like one would unwrap a gift. His own clothing is fastened and secured by a variety of belts and other such things, but Loki is well accustomed to helping uncertain or unfamiliar hands through the process.

Eventually the clothes are done away with, for both of them, and Loki takes a minute just to gaze at Huaisang's body. The beauty of it, for the man is definitely beautiful. "Gorgeous," Loki murmurs, hands trailing down the side of Huaisang's chest. Such fair skin will easily bruise and Loki decides to put that hypothesis to the test immediately, leaning down and worrying a small mark at Huaisang's collarbone.

Huaisang blushes happily at the compliment, chin ducking but not quite as far or for as long as before. His eyes skim hungrily over Loki's body in return, hands having brushed frequently over skin while he helped to undress him.

He reaches out for Loki's cock, fingertips caressing lightly over the skin. Gasping and then laughing with bright, breathy laughter as Loki's mouth closes on his collarbone, Huaisang grips a little tighter. His touch is still careful and reverent, but clearly more distracted now. "I'm also--ah--ticklish. Did I mention that?"

Loki breathes out a pleased hum at Huaisang's touch. "You did not. Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" Not everyone has the same feelings about being tickled, after all, and Loki would like tonight to be an overall good time for Huaisang. "Would you prefer a rougher touch?"

"Good. Arousing." Huaisang's fingers keep moving over Loki's cock, exploring and appreciating the length of him. "I don't mind a bit of roughness, but I like the tickling. Just so long as you know that I'll get distracted."

Letting go of his cock for now, Huaisang takes Loki's hand and guides him over to the bed. He pauses for a moment to take a clay jar of perfumed oil from a chest at the bedside, then sits back on the bed, beckoning to Loki to draw him down.

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Facing my wine, I did not see the dusk

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