Treatments for Depression

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru's seen less and less of his best friend lately. They keep getting sent out on solo missions, and even when they're both at the school at the same time, Suguru's not usually in any of their hang-out spots, and their paths don't cross as often.

But today, Satoru's determined. He knows that Suguru's not on a mission, so he picked up noodles and he's hunting his friend down.

He doesn't even knock. He just lets himself into Suguru's room, coming over to plop next to him on the bed and setting the bags of take-out food down nearby. "I brought noodles."

Comments

[a_darker_path]

Ever since that last mission with Riko, it's been different. Solo missions almost exclusively, isolated when he's on campus because the others are busy and he's lost the desire to seek them out.

Lost a lot of the drive he'd held before, although he's still going through the motions and when Gojo comes in, he doesn't even look up.

"I'm not hungry." True enough, at the moment, his gaze returning to the book he's been trying to read as way to kill time.

[mrblueeyes]

"Eat anyway," Satoru insists, nestling close to him and resting his head against Suguru's shoulder. He's worried by how out of it Suguru seems, like he's not even here at all, barely aware of Satoru's presence. "You're a growing boy. Need your energy. All that."

[a_darker_path]

Geto pulls away after a moment, puts some space between them as he stands, moves to put the book away and then leans against the wall, his eyes focused on the wall over Satoru's head.

"I'm fine, Satoru. If you want to leave it, you can, but I'm not hungry."

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru swallows hard when Suguru pulls away from him. Basically rejects him. Obviously doesn't want to hang out.

He stays put anyway, slipping off his shoes and hugging his knees to his chest. "Okay. Can I stay anyway? I miss you. We don't have to talk. I can talk if you want me to chatter, if you want entertainment, but I can just be quiet if it'd be annoying, I can just ..." Biting his lip, Satoru trails off and shrugs. "Please?"

[a_darker_path]

"Don't you have work to do?" Better ways to spend his time, if not working, at least. Although he doesn't say that, his hands loose at his sides.

[mrblueeyes]

"Even I have to rest sometimes," Satoru says, then sighs. It doesn't feel true. Since he can function on so little sleep, it feels like that's what's expected of him. He's not allowed to rest.

Satoru chews unhappily at his lip for a few seconds. "Are you mad at me? Did I do something dumb?"

[a_darker_path]

"I'm not mad." Not anymore. They weren't given the choice anymore, the missions just handed to them, the gifted ones.

"You haven't done anything." Flat, his voice neutral. "And if you need rest, you should rest in your room, shouldn't you?"

[mrblueeyes]

"I miss you," Satoru says again, curling tighter into himself but refusing to leave unless he's explicitly thrown out. He can be stubborn, if he needs to, flighty and sweet, tempting and playful. But first of all he's tired and lonely, and he'd rather just be honest with Suguru if he can. "If you don't want anything else, can I just sit with you?"

[a_darker_path]

"Do whatever you want." A slight shrug, his eyes closing but he's not moving closer, just staying across the room.

"You always do."

[mrblueeyes]

"So you are mad at me," Satoru said, lifting his head with a defensive little glare. "Or ..."

A worse thought occurs to him, and his expression twists sourly. "Or ... you don't like me anymore? Are we not still best friends?"

[a_darker_path]

"I'm not mad." It's the truth and there's another shrug.

"You're doing perfectly fine on your own, aren't you? Why do you need anyone else?"

[mrblueeyes]

"Oh, that's a brutal life sentence. I'm not allowed friends anymore?" Satoru grimaces, dropping his head fully into his arms. "Why do I need anyone else? Just fight. Don't rest. Why would a weapon need friends?"

He looks up again, pained. "Really? Is that what you believe?"

[a_darker_path]

"Does it matter? You're invincible, aren't you?" And everything he'd thought was clearly wrong, the gulf between them deepening every day.

"We've both been working almost constantly. So has Shoko." Although she's not in the field.

[mrblueeyes]

"Does it matter if I'm a person who wants friends?" Satoru's voice cracks, but then he shrugs sadly, staring down at his knees. "I guess not. Please just let me stay, Suguru. I'll try not to bother you. I just don't want to be alone right now."

[a_darker_path]

He shrugs a shoulder, not even bothering to respond since it's basically what he'd expect. When Satoru needs someone he's expected to drop everything for him, but it's not like Satoru's done the same before.

"Do whatever you want, like I said. You always do."

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru aches, feeling like Suguru doesn't even like him anymore.

"You're my best friend, Suguru. You're my favorite person."

Curling onto his side on the bed, Satoru reaches for one of Suguru's pillows to hug. It smells like him, and that helps a tiny bit.

[a_darker_path]

"I need some air." He pushes off the wall, footsteps carrying him to the door.

"Stay as long as you want."

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru sits back up fast, brow furrowed with hurt confusion. "Suguru!"

He goes after him, grabbing for Suguru's wrist to try and pull him back.

[a_darker_path]

He doesn't avoid Satoru catching his wrist but he does pull away once he has.

"I've got things to do, Satoru. Let go."

[mrblueeyes]

"I'll do them with you, then." Satoru crowds into his space, backing him up against a wall and glaring at him, grip still tight on Suguru's wrist. "If you don't like me anymore, then you have to tell me why. You're my best friend. You don't get out of this easy. I won't let you."

[a_darker_path]

"You have your own work, don't you?" Geto counters, exhales a breath. "We're not a team anymore so you don't need to act like this."

[mrblueeyes]

"I have the afternoon off, and I am spending it with you," Satoru snarls at him, still glaring angrily despite the way he's shaking. "We can do whatever you fucking want, but you're not getting rid of me. You're mine. If that has changed, you have to tell me why. Otherwise, stop being a dick or I'll bite you."

[a_darker_path]

He should resist, fight back but that's energy he's not at all sure he even wants to care to have lately. Everything's been on auto recently to the point he's not even sure he's really here. So he just meets that gaze, stares at Satoru blankly.

"I don't want anything, Satoru. I don't care" He sounds tired, his gaze drifting over Gojo's shoulder. "So go waste your time on someone who does."

[mrblueeyes]

At least Suguru isn't actually saying that he's done with Satoru and doesn't want to be friends anymore. Satoru's anger fades, because Suguru doesn't push back against it. So instead he steps close into Suguru's space and lets his head drop down onto Suguru's shoulder, crowding him in against the wall.

[a_darker_path]

"...Have you had enough yet?" It's very quiet, his hands loose at his sides, his eyes closing.

[mrblueeyes]

"Of what," Satoru mutters in return. His free hand settles onto Suguru's waist. "You? No. I'm starved. Deprived. Desperate."

A little of his tension eases, though, since Suguru's letting him do this. He leans more heavily against him, taking the contact that he so desperately needs, even if Suguru won't return it.

[a_darker_path]

Hr's not relaxed, his back resting against the wall tension in every line of his body as he lets Gojo do as he likes. But there's no real reaction, beyond just being there, his eyes focusing on the wall.

"When you're done, will you go back to your own room?"

[mrblueeyes]

“Fuck,” Satoru whispers, with a shudder at how much that hurts. “I know I’m hard to tolerate, but I never thought that you…”

Whimpering once, Satoru presses his face harder against Suguru’s shoulder. “No. I won’t. I told you my terms.”

And he also decides to make good on his threat, so he bites Suguru’s shoulder. Not hard enough to break skin, especially through his shirt, but certainly hard enough to leave a nasty bruise.