marlowemuses | This will be happily ever after...

Laurent's jaw tensed at the question, eyes dropping and then flicking up to Damen's face, letting him see the nervous tension that he felt at that question rather than the casual insouciance he usually preferred as a defense.

"Hope is a useless sentiment," he said instead, fingers curling tentatively around the bend of Damen's neck and shoulder. His grip was a little too tight. "Hope is for those who have no power to take action to achieve their goals."

Laurent didn't want to get into a philosophical argument, although he was far too mule-headed and opinionated to back away from one. He wanted to be distracted.

The word had touched a nerve in Laurent, though Damen didn't know why. He felt and then saw that tension spread over Laurent's body. Instead of going on the defensive, Damen tried soothing away the fraught reaction with hands that stroked at Laurent's shoulders. He nuzzled at the curve of a clavicle. "I would rather act than hope, Laurent." It was something he tucked away for later, something he didn't want to distress Laurent with right now by questioning him, but his curiosity and concern were both piqued.

Damen slid upwards for a moment. His lips made a soft imprint on Laurent's, coaxing him back to presentness, to relax with something familiar and good; the warm taste of Damen's mouth, the close embrace of his arms wrapping around, the brush of dark hair against Laurent's cheek. He held this for longer than he'd planned to, enjoying the simple intimacy of it.

He touched Laurent's shoulders. "Lay back for me?" He would not normally frame it as a question, but Laurent's wishes were too important to him to risk the return of trepidation with anything like an order.

The sweetness of the kiss helped immediately. Laurent's eyes closed, relaxing into the kiss and letting Damen lead him. His arms curled fully around Damen's shoulders, wanting to remain close to him.

Nodding warily at the question, Laurent slid off of his lap, settling back onto his elbows. He watched Damen through hooded eyes, immediately nervous and tense again and trying desperately to fight off the nerves. He hated being on unknown terrain, of being vulnerable and not in immediate control of any situation, and it was a struggle to yield to Damen, when their past encounters had often ended poorly.

Damen was almost sorry that all of the beneficial effects of their kisses were instantly reversed by his request. But their respective heights and positions meant exploring Laurent any further while in his lap would be nearly impossible anyways. He would just have to un-tense Laurent all over again.

He hovered over him, another kiss bestowed on Laurent's mouth, as a sort of peace offering or reward for his yielding. He stroked a wayward lock of blond hair back. "So that I may taste more of you," he explained. "Is that all right?"

It was true, their amorous encounters had more often than not ended in disaster, but this morning was different, Damen thought. He kept his gaze on Laurent's face as he bent to touch his lips below the line of collarbone, over a swath of pectoral. More, only if Laurent wished him to.

Laurent nodded, still tense but willing to make an effort for Damen. Each kiss relaxed him, as Damen started to explore the bare skin of his chest, and his hands settled in Damen's hair again, fingers tightening possessively each time Damen did something he liked. "Damen," he murmured, melting under the sweet reverence of Damen's kisses.

Strange, that he should like it so much when Laurent gripped him possessively like that. Or perhaps it wasn't so strange; Damen loved each act of claiming his husband, and knowing that Laurent wanted to claim him too in small, physical ways was indescribably satisfying.

Hands and mouth explored together. He charted out each swell and dip of Laurent's shoulders, his chest, his ribs. He skimmed close to the rosy circle of an areola, only to veer away. He wooed Laurent's pleasure like he'd wooed his lips, hoping to hear his name murmured again in those tones, with pleading in them this time. Damen's breath crested the slim rise of muscle beneath the nipple. His nose, the strong Akielon lines of it jutting out, grazed the sensitive bud in a suggestion of a nuzzle.

The light, careful touches of Damen's explorations worked quickly to unravel Laurent again, dissolving his nerves and making him forget everything but Damen.

His breath hitched, teeth clamping around a whimper, body arching and trembling at each teasing breath and tentative nuzzle.

Only half aware of what he was doing, Laurent's legs tangled around Damen's thighs, possessive and starved for contact. "Damen," he breathed, tugging at him in wordless demand for another kiss.

Damen collected sounds like treasures, quivers like spoils of war hard-won with tenderness. He reined in the urge to pursue, letting the instinctive course of desire mounting do the pursuing for him.

He let out a low hiss as he felt the silky twine of Laurent's still-clothed legs around his own bare thighs. The skirt of his chiton hung forward in his crouch over Laurent's body, barely concealing his erection. The kiss was easily acquired, Damen drawn forward to meet Laurent's lips again, hungrier and far less chastely than before. The warmth of him was escalating into heat, a fire gathering fuel into something not so neatly contained.

"Ask," he said in a breathless rumble between kisses. He had not pressed forward; he stayed hovering well above Laurent. He did not want to misinterpret this time. Whatever his body strained for, it should be something Laurent desperately wanted too.

Laurent shivered at the question, tensing. His eyes flicked open, studying Damen's eyes, trying to guess what he should ask, what Damen wanted, what Damen thought he would say. Trapped by the uncertainty of it, the difficulty of honesty when he didn't know what he wanted and didn't know what was the desired response, Laurent swallowed, cheeks flushed. "For what?" he asked, voice steady despite the nervous uncertainty he felt about everything, about how Damen kept asking what he wanted and Laurent still had no answer.

A warning flashed in Damen's head: tread lightly. Laurent's wariness reminded him of nothing so much as a hunted deer, skittish and startling at every forest crackle. He touched Laurent's face, very gently.

"For what you want. I cannot read your body very well yet. It seems to say one thing, but your mind may say another." He slid a hand to wear one of those long legs was twisting around him. "This feels like an invitation, to come closer, thus..."

He barely knew how to navigate this dance of words instead of actions; he had to resort to them, pressing his lower half towards Laurent's in a single, deliberate grind of their laps. Damen kept the rest of his weight off of the man beneath him; rose back up; the contact was broken again, but he stayed close enough above him that a single tug of Laurent's arms or legs could bring him back down again.

"Is that what you want?"

Laurent gasped, body tensed and cheeks flushed, as Damen ground against him. He watched him warily for a moment, eyes sharp and defensive, and then suddenly relaxed, and huffed out a laugh.

"Get off," he said, but his tone was gentle. He gave Damen's chest a push to get him off, and then nestled up against Damen's side again, making quick work of unfastening the rest of Damen's clothing. "Take care of it," Laurent said, guiding one of Damen's hands down to Damen's lap. "Otherwise you're going to be impatient."

Laurent knew he would spook if he tried to push through his own nerves again, but he could do this. He could stay, watching, curled up at Damen's side with a possessive arm over Damen's chest.

Well, at least that answer was clear.

Damen lightly swung off and back to their original place sitting at the head of the bed. He couldn't hold back the thread of disappointment that he'd misread Laurent's cues. A flush of mortification spread over his cheeks at the second part of Laurent's wishes. It was as if Laurent thought he couldn't control himself enough in this state to be patient and take his time with him. For someone of Damen's experience, that was highly embarrassing.

His face turned towards Laurent, eyes flickering over his features. His husband looked entirely serious. And ready to fly at any moment if Damen didn't do as he asked. The prospect of 'taking care of it' himself was one that held little appeal to Damen, who rarely had any need to do so given that he rarely slept alone anyways. He stared at Laurent, then down at his bare lap.

"Talk to me?" Hesitantly - Damen was not used to hesitating about anything - he curled his fingers around himself, far more interested in the man at his side than the stimulation to his cock. "Tell me what you imagine, when you touch yourself."

"Mm," Laurent said, nuzzling at him instead, preferring to use his mouth to nip at Damen's jaw, kissing a path up to Damen's earlobe and tugging at it. The question was difficult and made him nervous. He preferred to imagine anonymous men, of approximately Damen's build, ravishing him with no care as to his consent, but that was a fantasy, and confessing it had too much risk of giving the wrong idea, when Damen was only just getting accustomed to the idea of asking for everything.

His fingers found Damen's nipple, playing with it with less sharp teasing than he'd done before. He rolled the pads of his fingers over it, attentive to Damen's pleasure.

"Go on," Laurent coaxed, breath tickling at Damen's ear. "I want to watch."

...Or that.

Damen's head tilted and his neck arched in silent sanction of such application of Laurent's mouth. A pleasant shiver rippled over him as nimble lips and teeth worked at his ear. He liked being adored, showered with attention, and particularly coming from Laurent, it held undeniably allure.

The flat circle of his nipple prickled with soft sensation, which spiraled out in delicious waves as Laurent strummed his fingers there. Warm breath wafted over his ear. A low, almost subaudible moan vibrated in Damen's throat. His husband was bolder than a pleasure slave, his actions more possessive and teasing. He had never wanted anyone so badly.

He closed his eyes. Without thinking, his fingers made a fist around himself and swept downward. The thick head jutted from the circle of his hand for a moment, outlined proudly before submerging once more into it on his upward stroke. He wanted to ask Laurent to keep doing that, to keep teasing him this way and he would have no trouble taking care of things quickly. Somehow, talking was difficult just then. Laurent was perceptive, however...

Laurent's nails scraped down Damen's chest, combing through the soft hair, dipping down to his belly and then back up. He didn't need much coaxing to continue, already having a clear idea of how he wanted this to pan out. Damen was his, and Laurent wanted to explore him, to play with Damen's pleasure and see him lose himself in it.

Curious, Laurent lowered his head to Damen's other nipple, flicking his tongue briefly across it and then nipping at the skin around it, leaving a significant bite mark on the side of Damen's pectoral.

His hand stayed low on Damen's belly, only just out of the way of Damen's stroking, as he experimented with kisses and soft scrapes of his teeth over Damen's nipple. His nails dug in slightly to the soft skin beneath Damen's navel, wanting to give Damen a little bit of the sense of vulnerability he felt, so that Damen would have to trust him.

The cadence of Laurent's fingers and nails was both soothingly hypnotic and the sort of playful affection that warmed Damen from within. He sank into it, rumbling again with pleasure with the first touch of wet tongue across his nipple. This was -

His body jerked in surprise, still not used to the assault of teeth on his skin. Eyes wide open once more, Damen forced himself not to pull away. He would deliberately give himself over to Laurent's attentions, even if his instincts perceived them as something that needed defending against. After all, he didn't mind seeing the proof of them lingering for days, the way the mark on his neck had, and Laurent's mouth was soft and warm and pleasurable.

And then the pressure of those nails was another point of vulnerability, placed just so, right beside the scar Kastor had left on him. Damen tensed. He was keenly reminded that the last time he'd trusted someone to have only the best intentions towards him, he'd almost lost his kingdom and his life for it. He watched Laurent closely, his muscles taut and hand stilling to a crawl.

Something had gone wrong. Uncertain as to what had put Damen so suddenly on the defensive, Laurent pulled back his hand, resting it gently on the center of Damen's chest. He sat up a little, softly kissing the tip of Damen's nose, radiating gentle reassurance as he watched his lover. "I'm sorry. We're both so touchy, aren't we?"

He gave Damen a sad, sympathetic smile, hating that they were both such a mess, though he wasn't entirely sure what he'd done wrong. "It's all right. Tell me what you want."

Laurent was not Kastor. No, Damen had known Kastor for decades and still was deceived by him. Laurent was still an unknown variable to him, their short acquaintance hardly enough to understand his true motives and feelings. Damen wanted with all his heart to believe that they were honest and true, with the same affection Laurent showed him in unguarded moments, but...how could he be sure?

Damen let out his breath, which he'd unconsciously held. He uncurled his hand, spreading it out over his thigh. "I...didn't mean to. You did nothing wrong. That place has...memories for me." Not good ones. Not ones he particularly wanted to reveal to Laurent at this moment.

He met Laurent's eyes, and was quiet for a few seconds. Now he understood Laurent's uncertainty. "I don't know," Damen said honestly. He was left in a daze of confusion, taken abruptly from the more pleasant trend of Laurent's attentions that had made this activity palatable to him. He had no desire to finish the job; the half-hard state of him now testified to that. He'd never experienced anything a tenth so complicated in the bedroom as this.

Wordlessly, he tucked an arm around Laurent's shoulders and drew his head down to nestle against Damen's chest, trying to communicate his wish to be close, even when his own feelings warred with each other.

"I'm sorry," Laurent murmured, again. He did not apologize easily or often, but it was not his way to intentionally disorient someone who was vulnerable to him.

Hugging close to Damen, Laurent cuddled up against his side, head on Damen's shoulder and legs tangled loosely around one of Damen's legs. As much as he wanted to continue, cuddling was much more appealing at the moment. Damen's broad chest was warm and solid, and he felt safe like this.

"I enjoyed that," he said, tracing the line of Damen's collarbones. "Even though we didn't get very far."

Damen was glad that they could always seem to find common ground in a comforting embrace. He tilted his head against Laurent's, nose buried in his fair hair. Both arms encircled his husband. He could not have put into words just then how much this was what he wanted.

A breath like the hint of a laugh followed Laurent's commentary. Damen cupped a hand around Laurent's bare shoulderblade. "If I was not so 'impatient' to you, where might we have gone?" He sounded curious, no frustration in his tone. It was easier, somehow, to talk about it after the fact when there seemed little likelihood of resuming just then, than it had been negotiating things during the fact.

"I think we both know where we'd eventually like this to lead," Laurent said, with a wry little smirk. He kissed the skin of Damen's shoulder, nestling closer into Damen's arms. "I know you would have respected me enough to wait, no matter how 'impatient' you felt," Laurent said, fond and teasing, amused that Damen had fastened upon that with some significance. "I didn't want the guilt of knowing that you must be aching for it, and me constantly pulling back."

Hugging tight to him, Laurent sighed, nuzzling his face into Damen's throat. "I like the way you smell," he confessed, and then immediately regretted the honesty. It was simply too embarrassing.

Damen almost smiled. He tucked Laurent a little closer, fitted his arms perfectly around him. "I think I understand," he said, quietly relieved that Laurent had acted as he had for his own sake and not out of any fear that Damen would simply plunder ahead if the need grew too great. "I was happy to do whatever made you feel comfortable. Even if there's no need for you to feel guilty about that. I would rather wait until you're ready to...touch me yourself." His voice was wry as he added, "I promise to be more patient next time you do."

Damen leaned his head back, throat arched for Laurent's nuzzle, hearing the confession murmured there... And then he did smile, broadly and suddenly, the way sunlight bursts through the gray of a rainy day. "That's good," he commented mildly, stroking Laurent's hair. "It would bode ill for us both if you found my scent repulsive." He wondered how keen Laurent's senses were, if he would be able to smell the faint traces of limestone and minerals amid the salt of Damen's sweat, the faint whiff of olive oil from his daily massages.

Laurent snorted, nipping fondly at Damen's throat. "And if I simply want to watch sometimes?" he asked, licking at Damen's skin to taste the salt on it. "Am I out of luck for that?"

Sitting up partway, Laurent tugged at the laces on one side of his hips, guiding Damen's hand to help him. "Help me out of these," he said, turning his head to kiss Damen's forehead, then returning his attention to the laces.

Damen's brows raised high on his forehead. This was a new revelation for him. "I didn't know you wanted to." The swipe of Laurent's tongue was meltingly soft. "Does that really--?" He couldn't imagine it. He couldn't imagine simply watching Laurent and not wanting to put hands on him himself. He would do it, of course, if Laurent wanted, but doing it by choice...

His contemplation was cut short, his help requested. Doing that. He stared at Laurent a moment. After everything, now was when Laurent wanted to get more naked? He touched the laces. "Laurent." His fingers tugged at the magic loosening thread. The sleep garment took mere moments to unfasten, and Damen's hand lingered at the waistband, smoothing over a hipbone. His gaze remained questioningly fixed on his husband's face.

The befuddled look on Damen's face was endearing. Of course he had no idea that people might simply enjoy watching. It was most of what Laurent had ever done, with the constant voyeurism available in the Veretian court.

"Unless you don't want to," Laurent said, meeting Damen's eyes with a teasing smile, because he was pretty confident that Damen always wanted to get him naked. He kissed Damen's lips softly, then lifted his hips so that Damen could tug the pajama pants off of him.

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