marlowemuses | A cruel reality when you've had too much to dream

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A cruel reality when you've had too much to dream

On most days, Adam thought he knew all there was to know about himself. He had studied his skin and the capabilities of his muscles. He had interrogated every thought inside his own mind. He knew the depth of his capacity for exhaustion, and how much he could do on how little sleep.

He did not know, on the afternoon of the prince's eighteenth birthday, that over the course of the day things had been learned about him, through spell and revelation, that he did not know about himself.

Adam knew that there were celebrations throughout the kingdom for the prince, but Adam had no time for them. He had the day off of work at the shipyards, but that only meant that he had time to catch up on his chores at home, which would allow him some time to catch up on his studies. He knew that the royal family was magic. A fairy king and his family, and the middle son, the magic son, who would inherit everything. He knew, esoterically, that the fairy-dreamer kings of their realm took magic consorts who aided and increased their power.

Adam had no interest in any of it. This was mostly due to self-preservation for his pride and his heart. He knew he was not magic and did not belong in that world. Nothing he could do would ever produce an aptitude for that kind of magic. So he forbade himself from wanting it.

And if, in the months since his own birthday, he'd found lost things easier and broken things were more swiftly fixed by his hands, he attributed it only to his own intelligence and aptitude. If the weather suited itself to his mood and the flowers grew around his parents' house in a riotous profusion that he'd never seen before, Adam thought little of any of it. All these things had logical explanations, or they were mere coincidences.

He did not know that the king had cast a spell for his son, and his face had appeared in a basin of water, and a map had glowed to mark his home and the back field where Adam was hard at work repairing a broken fence.

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It was the steward who broke their standoff simply by noticing it. "Ah, the prince!" he said, in a bright, optimistic tone like he was dealing with kindergartners. "Perhaps I should give you two a moment to make friends."

The suggestion was so utterly tone-deaf as to the nature of their standoff that Adam couldn't help but find it comedic. His head turned toward the steward, lips quirked slightly in amused disbelief.

A muscle in Ronan's jaw twitched but he didn't move other than that. "It would take more than that. You should finish your tour first. I won't keep you."

"Oh, nonsense!" The steward insisted. He patted Ronan's arm, bold enough to do so simply from how known they'd long each other-- and the fact that of the three princes, Declan was the only one who demanded formality. "Don't worry. I'll be back in two moments."

Ronan thought he'd die of second hand embarrassment. It was a thought that the steward usually instilled in him.

"I hope I have your word," he said, his voice sounding very much like he was attempting to strangle himself with his own vocal chords. If such a thing were possible, Ronan wanted to be the first to discover it.

Adam bit down on his lower lip in a very valiant effort to keep from smiling when the steward patted the tall, intimidating, scowling prince on the arm like that. And then the steward was gone, abandoning the two of them together in the garden. Adam looked in the direction he'd gone, perplexed but somewhat delighted that this was the sort of thing that now happened in his life. People conspiring to get him befriended by a prince.

"I don't think you have his word," Adam said, wryly sympathetic.

"It wouldn't matter if I did. He'll tell me when he said two moments I should have known he meant two hours." He suppressed a sigh.

Now if he left to go on his walk, he'd look like an ass. Maybe that was part of the steward's plan too.

Ronan looked down the path. "You can continue your tour or whatever it is. Just tell him I insulted you again."

He didn't want to be around someone who didn't want him in the first place. He wasn't desperate enough to bat his eyelashes in the hopes of a second chance. Adam made his choice. Then he made another one. Ronan wanted nothing to do with it.

Adam studies him, considering the offered out but deciding not to take it. He's too intrigued by Ronan at the moment. The tour can wait.

"Your father is very persuasive," Adam comments. Ronan's so handsome that it hurts a little to look at him. He's something too fantastical to be real. A fairy prince, lovely and powerful. And everyone has the insane delusion that Adam belongs at his side, as if that will have any other result than making Adam look like a fool. "Though perhaps not completely honest."

Ronan did his best to avoid looking at Adam but he kept glancing back at him. There was something about the way he stared at him that he found unnerving. At least, he thought that was the feeling.

"He tells me that's why I'm not as persuasive." Ronan didn't think his father meant it unkindly. It was simply a fact. "Are you regretting this yet?"

Adam's puzzled by the question, gaze becoming a little sharper as he considers the reasons he might regret this. "No." He'd already known better than to believe Niall's promise that he wouldn't have to see Ronan, so this isn't a disappointment. Besides which, Adam's intrigued, and he has reason to believe that he might get better answers out of Ronan than he has out of Niall or the servants. "Can you do magic?"

It was Ronan's turn to be puzzled, enough that he stopped trying to look away and actually stared at Adam. "Of course." He thought everyone knew that. Then he switched from surprised to defensive. "Just because it's not the same as yours doesn't mean I can't do it."

"And if we work together we're both more powerful," Adam says, to confirm his understanding of the situation. He's not opposed to working with Ronan, if he really does have magic of his own and he's not just a support to Ronan.

Before he can ask anything else, his attention is drawn by a commotion not far from them, in the direction of the castle gates. People have gathered around a messenger of some sort, and everyone is chattering worriedly about whatever news has been brought.

Adam turns to Ronan to get more information or context about this, since they're on Ronan's territory. "What's going on?"

Ronan didn't respond. He was too busy staring at the gates, as if he could determine from a distance what was going on.

Without another word, he walked in that direction. He didn't bother telling Adam to come. If he were a calculating man, he might have reasoned that it would show him Adam's character. Really, he just didn't want to bother. Adam would do as he pleased, just like one of the castle's cats.

The crowd parted for him the moment he arrived, some not even realizing the prince had arrived but simply taking their cues from the others.

"What is this?" he asked.

The messenger stepped closer to him and whispered in his ear. As the heir, he was to know more information than the others. They trusted him not to panic. They probably should have realized he couldn't be trusted not to charge off to do right away, which he did.

Adam followed after him, just catching up as Ronan suddenly reversed course and headed off in new direction. He stared after the prince for a moment, wanting to know what was happening and needing to decide on the spot whether to follow. He decided that Ronan rule by my side would be more likely to give him information than the messengers and servants who didn't yet know or recognize Adam as having any authority. He went after Ronan, running to catch up to him. "What's going on?" he demanded. It took effort to keep up with Ronan's slightly longer stride, but Adam wasn't going to try to stop him.

"A demon," Ronan barely glanced at Adam when he talked. He was too focused on the task ahead. It wasn't too far from here to the stables. By the time he was done explaining, they'd be there and Adam could decide if he wanted to turn back.

"He said there was something black spreading across the earth? Can't be anything else." It probably could be, but Ronan didn't know what else there was. "I can take care of it now before it does any serious damage."

That was much more doubtful.

All of this was a whole new world for Adam. He'd heard of such things, but they were always rare and faraway, not the sort of things that impacted his mundane life of work, study, more work, and sleep.

They reached the stable, which brought a sudden onslaught of realizations. Ronan was taking a horse. So the demon wasn't within walking distance. Ronan intended to ride there. If Adam was coming with him, he would also have to ride. Adam had no idea how to ride.

Trying not to panic at the thought, Adam followed him inside, heart thumping. "You've dealt with demons before?"

"First time for everything." Ronan got his horse ready in a hurry. He was a prince, but he didn't rely on his servants for everything. He led the horse out of the stable before saddling up.

He looked at Adam. "Are you coming?" It was a simple question: no pressure, no judgement-- at least so far. And one thing was clear. Ronan was doing this with or without him.

"Yes." Adam had no hesitations about that part. Even if he couln't offer any useful aid, he wanted to be there to see and observe. He had accepted this opportunity to learn, and helping Ronan deal with a demon was a lot more interesting than learning from a book.

The catch was that he didn't know how he was coming. As he watched Ronan fit his horse with equipment, Adam tried to learn, but he couldn't quite make sense of it. He didn't have any idea how to start putting a saddle on a horse, if a horse would even let him.

Ronan waited, staring at Adam for longer than he should have before finally realizing why he wasn't.

"Can you ride?"

He couldn't imagine anyone not knowing. He thought back to when he first met Adam: dirty, sweaty, and apparently as poor as he'd looked.

Adam hated admitting he couldn't do things. He was so used to being clever, despite his poverty, so that he could figure things out just by trying. Put a saddle on a horse, sure, tighten all available straps, but horses had hooves and teeth and didn't respond to logic, so it wasn't a problem that cleverness could solve if he just plain didn't know how to approach a horse without being kicked.

"No," he admitted at last, stiffly defensive. His hands clenched, shoulders hunched, because he couldn't see a way forward that didn't involve asking for help in some capacity, so Adam's pride prickled up and got ready to dig his heels in.

Ronan sighed, gave Adam and appraising look, and decided he was scrawny enough that this would work. This time, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut about that assessment.

He adjusted his position so Adam had enough room to sit behind him. "Alright, you can ride with me. I think the horse can take it."

Edited 2018-09-03 00:26 (UTC)

Adam didn't love the idea, but he didn't have any better suggestions. He knew he was light, and if Ronan thought that the horse could take the two of them, Adam accepted his expertise. Which only left the question of how he was going to get up on the horse. "Okay."

He hooked his foot into the stirrup, accepting Ronan's arm to help him swing his weight up. He settled close behind Ronan, thighs on either side of Ronan's hips and hands very lightly on Ronan's sides. Then he let Ronan have the stirrup back, tucking his heels close against the horse's sides. He'd never been this close to anyone, though he did his best to keep their contact as minimal as possible, not wanting to press too close against Ronan's body.

Ronan noticed Adam's reluctance. A flare of annoyance burst in him, one he had difficulty smothering. It would have been easier if part of him didn't want arms around him. The knowledge that Adam had shut him down so thoroughly and shut down that hope ever coming true ruined any enjoyment of the moment. But this once, he didn't have time to be petty.

He looked over his shoulder. "You're going to have to hold onto me unless you want to fall off and break your neck."

"I'm holding on," Adam insisted, irritable, but then the horse shifted under them and he immediately hugged his arms fully around Ronan's waist, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. This felt very high off the ground, and the thought that this creature was going to start moving at high speeds was horrifying. "Sorry," he murmured, because he couldn't imagine that Ronan liked having him clinging like this, and Adam hated the helplessness that put him in a situation where he had to cling.

Ronan reminded himself there was still a demon to face. He couldn't afford to be distracted by having Adam press up against him.

"Don't. You're supposed to hold me like that. Remember what I said. Don't fall off." He lightly kicked the horse's sides and he bolted. This wasn't the first time he'd rode this horse before and it seemed he remembered the prince's preference. Nice and fast.

The horse surged beneath them and then sped off, faster than Adam had ever moved in his life. Terror washed through him, and Adam's heart launched into his throat. He held on tight, face pressed against Ronan's back and breath coming in shaky little gasps. Ronan was warm and solid, the only steady thing in the world as the horse rippled beneath them and the road whipped by.

Wincing his eyes shut, Adam clung to him, doing everything he could to stifle the waves of panic as the horse galloped down the road.

At any other time, Ronan would have been self-conscious. Adam was pressed against him, making his body feel... a lot of different things all at once, some of them pleasant but all of them inconvenient. Fortunately for both of them, he was distracted by their race down the road. It almost made him laugh before he reined himself back in. This was a serious matter. He'd drilled that into his head again by the time they reached the village and he pulled back the reins.

Now that they'd stopped, he looked at Adam. "You survived."

It felt to Adam like the ride went on forever. After some time his grip relaxed from panicked to merely terrified, but he kept his face pressed to Ronan’s back and his eyes closed.

He lifted his head when they stopped, warily assessing their surroundings and the distance to the ground. His hands were shaking badly as he unclenched them from Ronan. He felt in no way stable enough to get himself down, but there was no choice.

As carefully as he could, Adam swung his leg around and slid down the side of the horse. He landed on his feet, but his knees failed to hold him and he crumpled to the ground.

The humiliation of it was crushing as he took a moment to try to gather himself, but he was deeply shaky, and none of his muscles would cooperate. He tried to remember when he had last eaten--yesterday? He wasn't sure.

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