marlowemuses | Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Alec had known that after the wedding disaster, he wouldn't be in his parents good graces. Robert had stuttered some attempts at either trying to be supportive or questions about how Alec had suddenly become gay. Those encounters were awkward, but they were tolerable most of the time. He hated how relieved Robert seemed now that Magnus was gone. He probably thought without the 'corrupting influence' of Magnus, Alec would become the good son again.

Maryse was more difficult to deal with. There was no attempts at understanding. She was furious at him for humiliating the family in front of the most important Shadowhunters. The ones that she was trying to manipulate for favors. As usual, her anger spilled out in harsh critiques of her older children. Whenever he could, Alec took the worst of it to save Izzy. This time the lecture covered a wide range of subjects.
His inability to control his siblings or Clary. The wedding. Magnus. He took it all silently, letting her question all of his decisions, his talents, his ability to lead. It was all things Alec had heard before but they still cut deeply.

Standing at parade rest, he silently waited for the lecture to end, clenching his jaw to keep himself from arguing with her or trying to defend himself. It wasn't until she mentioned being assigned to Adam that he finally spoke. "The Clave thinks that I'm capable of protecting him and so does he."

"What does a Mundane know?" she snapped. "You couldn't even keep the Fairchild girl safe. You did your best and it almost got her killed, Alexander. Do you believe we should take that risk with someone who can restore the Institute to its proper glory?" He continued arguing, but he knew it was a losing battle. Mayrse was planning on having him replaced. Probably with Jace and there was nothing he could say to prevent her from going to the Clave to request someone else be Adam's bodyguard.

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Had Alec taken a few extra steps when he'd went from 'I think I like guys' to 'I'm gay'? It felt like it since he hadn't jumped right into the type of research Adam had covered or even figuring out what he liked. Maybe if he'd had the same type of motivation Adam had he would have been more thorough on those topics.

He couldn't quite stay still as Adam teased his chest, squirming slightly when the sensation tickled, arching closer when Adam kissed and licked his nipple. "I doubt it's the curriculum at most places." Breath catching when he felt teeth against his skin, he wasn't quite sure if he liked that particular kink or not. That might take more experimenting later to see.

Letting out an annoyed huff, when the kiss ended too quickly, his eyes darkened as he imagined Adam in the shower, getting off from fantasies about him. Even with the mention of research, he hadn't expected Adam to say that.

Wrapping his arms around Adam's waist to keep him on his lap, Alec sat up so that it would be easier to start his own 'research'. Kissing along Adam's neck, he focused a spot low enough that it'd be covered by a shirt if he left a mark. "What did you think about me doing?"

Adam's breath hitched as Alec started kissing at his neck, and he relaxed into Alec's arms, trusting Alec enough to enjoy being handled by him. "I haven't..." Adam started, then gasped softly at another of the kisses, "... had the opportunity to start getting creative," he admitted. As Alec started focusing more intently on one spot, Adam gave a tiny whimper, panting against Alec's ear as he clung tighter to him. "Just wanted to figure out if I liked anal at all. I imagined it was you fingering me. I imagined you fucking me."

Shivering a little at that confession, Adam's hips ground half unconsciously against Alec. "Stroked myself thinking about you sucking me off. Can't stop thinking about how much I want to suck your cock."

Pressing his face against the curve of Alec's neck, Adam rolled his hips again, keeping a slow rhythm because he couldn't bear to stop.

"That sounds creative to me." Creative enough that he was painfully hard when he thought of Adam in the shower, fantasizing about him while he got himself off. Moaning as Adam moved against him, Alec brushing his lips against one of the scars that Adam had thought would push him away. His own scars were either over sensitive or had little feeling so he lingered there for a moment before finding another place to kiss.

His hands along Adam's back, sliding downward until they rested on his ass, encouraging his boyfriend to keep moving. Rocking his hips to match the rhythm Adam had started, he began to speak, about to ask if they could take off their jeans when Adam mentioned his other fantasies. Groaning softly, he stilled for a moment, resting his cheek against Adam's shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, he reminded himself that he needed to have some self-control or all they would end up trying was kissing. "I want you to." He almost added 'if you're sure' but he stopped himself before he blurted the words. "And I want to suck you off like you imagined."

Adam trembled almost imperceptibly at the kiss to his scar, but Alec was so gentle and affectionate that he relaxed again quickly, grateful that Alec still wanted him despite all of Adam's damage.

When Alec went still, Adam also went still, frightened that he'd done something wrong or had gone too far. But then Alec spoke again and Adam was reassured by the heat and desire in his words.

Cheeks red, Adam kissed Alec's temple, hugging tight to him for a moment as he dealt with the strength of his affection and gratitude in that moment. "Now?" he asked, as soon as he could manage words again. "Can I?"

Alec knew that he might have gone too far. Adam might fantasize about going down on him, but that didn't mean that he meant he wanted to try it today. Especially when they'd been through so many emotions in the past few hours.

Confused by the kiss followed by the hug, Alec held him just as tight, waiting for Adam to decide what he wanted. Part of him was nervous that he'd crossed a line or accidentally pushed Adam into something he didn't want to try, but he knew that Adam would tell him if that had happened. Rubbing the back of Adam's neck, he began to blush when his boyfriend asked those questions. "Yes. We can."

Adam made a tiny, soft groaning noise in his throat, easy to miss if his mouth hadn't still been by Alec's ear. Aching and impatient, he stole a quick kiss from Alec's lips and then wiggled out of his arms, moving back a little so that he could unfasten Alec's jeans.

He felt like he was vibrating with nerves, and none of this seemed quite real, but Adam didn't want to hesitate for fear that it might all disappear.

Curling his fingers around Alec's waistband, jeans and underwear together, Adam looked up at Alec for confirmation before drawing them down.

The kiss kept Alec from thinking, or over thinking the situation. He hadn't suggested anything that they both didn't want to try. The kiss proved that. Alec kept telling himself that in an attempt to quiet his nervousness, trying to stay still as his boyfriend unbuttoned his jeans.

Not sure that he could find his voice or what it'd sound like if he did manage to speak, Alec nodded. Brushing his fingers over his boyfriend's knuckles to show him that he wasn't going to say no, he lifted his hips up to help Adam strip off the rest of his clothes. Flushing brightly, he ignored the instinct to cover himself as Adam pulled down his jeans and boxers. He wasn't shy about his body. He'd been injured too many times for that to be an issue, but having someone see him when he was hard was something he'd avoided for years.

Adam couldn't help but pause and stare as Alec's cock sprang free of his boxers. He'd been around other guys naked in locker rooms, but Adam knew better than anyone to keep his eyes neutral and averted at times like that. He'd never had the freedom to look, and he'd certainly never been around other guys when they were hard like this.

Leaning down, Adam quickly kissed the side of Alec's cock, flashing a playful grin up at him in order to help ease Alec's nerves at being exposed like this. Then he resumed pulling Alec's jeans down, stripping him out of his clothes and settling between Alec's legs.

"I'm still not intimidated by the size of you," Adam flirted, cheeks pink and eyes dark with desire. He ran his hands up Alec's calves and thighs, unsure how or where to start. He wanted to touch, wanted to taste, wasn't sure the right way to do this. He hadn't done research on this aside from watching a handful of porn videos.

Trusting what he wanted and trying not to overthink it, Adam put his mouth around the head of Alec's cock, running his tongue over the head to taste his precome.

When Adam stopped pulling down his pants, Alec had to fight the need to cover up. His blush brightened and he forced his hands down onto the bed. There was no reason to be embarrassed when Adam knew he was hard and there was no reason to hide. But it still felt strange to have someone else with him while he was so hard that he was aching.

He made an embarrassing sound - part surprise, part arousal - when Adam kissed his cock. If it felt strange to be in bed with someone else, having that someone touch him was completely new. By the Angel he was probably going to spontaneously combust from blushing before they'd gotten his pants off.

Despite the want and nervousness that were overwhelming his thoughts, he had to smile at Adam's comment. If Adam could tease him when he was naked, then there wasn't a reason to worry about if his boyfriend would be disappointed. "The rumors that I'm scary aren't true." At least they weren't for Adam.

Shivering as Adam's fingers moved along his legs, he was about to ask Adam if he was going to strip, when his boyfriend moved closer. Breath catching as Adam took him into his mouth, he let out a low moan as Adam tasted him. Closing his eyes, his hands tightening in the blankets, he tried to stay still. His hips twitched slightly, but he managed not to move too much. He hoped.

Adam's heart thudded that he was going to do something wrong, which seemed all the more possible since he didn't know anything more than to be careful with his teeth. He lowered his head, taking Alec in deeper, but it was an embarrassingly short distance before Alec's cock nudged the back of his throat and Adam mentally realized the obvious disparity between the depth of a mouth and the length of a cock.

Cheeks flaming, Adam lifted up again, kissing the side of Alec's cock and breathing for a moment, trying to figure out what to do next. He wanted to touch, he wanted to suck, he felt dizzy with desire and indecision.

"I like how you taste," he murmured, looking up at Alec as he ran his tongue over the head of Alec's cock again, wrapping his hand around it and stroking once to get used to the feel of it.

Alec was sure that if he watched Adam as he took him deeper into his mouth, he'd come after only a few seconds. Closing his eyes might not be the best idea either since it made everything more real. He'd imagined it enough that he'd assumed he knew what it'd be like, but having Adam wanting to go down on him was almost as hot as the feeling of warm, wet heat that...

Ended sooner than he expected. Blinking at Adam, he tried to focus on his boyfriend, biting his lip so he didn't say something embarrassing when Adam kissed him. Slowly, he noticed the blush. Was something wrong? "You - " Don't have to do this if you don't want to. "You do?" He was surprised that the question didn't come out as a whine as Adam began stroking him. His hips lifting up before he realized what he was doing. "I like - all this. With you."

Adam grinned up at him, warm and besotted at Alec's words and that little whine. He wanted to figure this out and do well at it, for Alec.

Trying again, Adam took Alec into his mouth, closing his eyes as he focused on his task. He kept one hand curled around Alec's shaft, giving him some warmth and tightness where Adam's mouth didn't reach, and he sucked at the head, bobbing his head a couple of times and stroking Alec to match.

But Adam wasn't satisfied with just that. He knew deepthroating was possible, and Adam couldn't approach any skill without needing to master it. As far as he knew, it was just a matter of relaxing his jaw and throat. And, possibly, finding the right angle. Each time he bobbed his head down, he pressed forward, focusing on relaxing his jaw and throat, trying to persuade his body to accept the intrusion, but all he could feel was the pressure of it, Alec's cock pressing against the limit of Adam's mouth.

It was a surprise when, on the fourth try, it worked. Adam's pulse spiked as Alec slid that extra inch inside. Focused on his goal, Adam pressed forward, taking Alec to the hilt and just holding there a moment, staying relaxed. He couldn't breathe, and he hadn't realized that he should be timing his breaths for this, but he could afford a few more seconds without a problem.

His heart seemed to stop when Adam smiled. If imagining someone going down on him had been something he'd rarely allowed himself to consider, having someone look at him like that had been almost forbidden even in the privacy of his own fantasies. By the Angel, he looked stunning. Alec had never thought someone would be so happy to be with him. Or be with someone who would make him feel so much at once.

He'd find a way to make sure Adam felt the same way. Once he was coherent enough to actually focus on something that wasn't related to his boyfriend doing amazing things with his mouth and hand.

What kind of research had Adam been doing? Whatever he'd looked up had Alec fighting not to thrust into his mouth, heat and pleasure making his self-control slip away. He thought he was babbling something that might be encouragement or it might have been random sounds. Adam might laugh at him later, but he didn't care. He couldn't stay quiet.

He barely remembered that the room wasn't completely soundproof, managing not to shout when Adam somehow took him deeper inside. He shivered beneath Adam, eyes wide, staring at his boyfriend. Heart pounding, Alec wanted to touch him, ground himself before he got too overwhelmed, but if he moved, he was sure that he'd come before he managed to lift one of his hands toward Adam.

Adam lifted up again, triumphant but panting for breath, and he stroked Alec warmly, using both his hands to keep his cock sheathed with warmth and stimulation. He loved the sounds Alec made, loved the power of making someone else feel that good, of knowing how much Alec wanted him and that it mattered that it was him and not just anyone going down on Alec.

"I want you to come in my mouth," he said, just in case Alec had any hesitations about whether Adam would be okay with that. Then he went back down, bobbing his head once and taking a careful breath before coaxing Alec's cock into his throat again, lifting up and trying to set up some sort of rhythm.

As Adam caught his breath, Alec risked moving his hand, sliding his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. “Adam - “ He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, the words tangled up in a haze of desire and adoration that he couldn’t express. Rocking his hips to match the rhythm of Adam’s hands, he tried to find some way to show Adam those feelings. Remembering how much Adam had liked even simpler touches, he brushed his fingers along Adam’s check and along his jaw. He hoped that Adam understood or would he’d wait for him to find the right words once he could think again.

Biting back a whimper, he managed not to be as loud as before when Adam found the right angle and started moving. Somehow he kept from bucking up into Adam’s mouth. All the words he’d struggled for seemed to be found, spilling out in a rush as he told Adam how amazing it felt, how much he wanted him, how close he was…

He tried to fight the heat that was building, the need that was so different than anything Alec had experienced before. No matter how much he wanted to hold back, to have a few moments more, it was too much. Alec shuddered, hand flexing on Adam’s shoulder before he managed to speak. “’M going to come.”

Adam pulled back at the warning, keeping his mouth open and tongue out as he stroked Alec, quick and warm. Though he'd kept his eyes closed to focus for most of the blowjob, they were open now, inviting Alec to come for him. He wanted Alec to see him, wanted to give him the visual of those white spatters against his tongue. Alec was so beautiful like this, wrecked with pleasure and babbling praise, and Adam desperately wanted more of this, to earn more of that sweet praise from him.

His own cock ached, still painfully trapped in his jeans, but Adam didn't care. He was too caught up in this moment, too in awe of being able to reduce Alec into mush with pleasure, and he wanted badly to be able to taste him.

Hissing softly when Adam moved away, he bit down hard on his lip, trying to distract himself so he wouldn’t come. Adam must have changed his mind. It was too much too soon. At least that was what he assumed until he realized what Adam was doing. Mouth open, not looking away, encouraging Alec to come on his tongue. What had Adam looked up during his research?

Whatever he’d found, it was better than Alec had seen on the internet or allowed himself to imagine.

It was impossible to hold himself back while Adam kept stroking him, wanting him to come. It still caught him by surprise when pleasure arched through him, dragging a ragged moan from him. Heat rushed through him, stealing his breath with force of it. He caught a glimpse of his come spilling onto Adam’s tongue before the world turned hazy around the edges. He wanted to speak, to touch, but it felt like he was floating, caught in the intensity of sensations washing over him. He thought that his fingers brushed against Adam’s hair and he managed to say his boyfriend’s name, but he kept sinking into hazy warmth that made everything seem to fade away.

Adam swallowed what he'd caught on his tongue and licked up the stray drops that had escaped, glowing with pride at the sight of Alec's pleasure. Stroking him through it, Adam subsided once he was done and crawled up Alec's body to nestle against his side, enjoying Alec's warmth and the way that Alec was murmuring his name. His own cock was hard, nestled against Alec's hip, but Adam hoped he would disregard that for now. Adam wanted Alec to enjoy this moment and his afterglow.

Tucked against Alec's side, Adam ran his fingers gently through Alec's hair in return, watching his face as he returned from ecstasy.

Before Adam stroking him went from perfect to too much, he moved to curl up beside him. It seemed like an embarrassingly long time for Alec to find the coordination needed to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. Humming softly as Adam played with his hair, he became more aware of details. Adam looked pleased, happier than Alec expected for someone who was obviously hard and had to be uncomfortable in his jeans. But Adam didn't seem annoyed or impatient to come.

Alec would help with that, if Adam wanted him to, but if he wanted to give him time to catch his breath, he'd take it. As his heart began to slow, he trailed his fingers along his boyfriend's spine. "I - That was - I -" Why did he always have to struggle for the right words, especially with Adam? "Thank you." As he spoke, his gaze lingered on Adam's lips. He should ask Adam what he wanted, but he couldn't ignore a different question, another temptation that Alec didn't want to ignore. "Can I kiss you?"

Adam smiled at the question, sitting up and leaning over Alec to kiss him. His fingers stayed woven into Alec's hair, affectionate and a little bit possessive. Keeping the kiss shallow, Adam kissed him softly, letting their noses brush together as he caressed his lips over Alec's.

Adam craved intimacy, approval, and touch, and Alec's hand on his spine made him feel like his skin was electric. He was safe, and Alec was pleased, and Alec wanted him.

He knew that he should focus on Adam, ask his boyfriend what he wanted, but it was easy to be distracted by the kiss and having Adam so close. When one kiss ended, he smiled against Adam's lips before nuzzling his boyfriend's neck.

His hands moved over Adam's back, along his sides. Alec was careful not to tickle Adam again or draw rune patterns since he might forget that he couldn't complete them. He pressed a soft kiss to one of the marks he left. When his fingers brushed over the waistband of Adam's jeans, he pulled away slightly. "Do you want me to...?" Alec wanted Adam to feel what he had or something like it, but he wasn't going to make assumptions about what Adam was comfortable with.

Adam nodded, a little bit shy but wanting Alec. It was only fair that he strip down, after Alec had, and Adam was ready to trust him enough to let Alec see him naked. Sitting up and looking away shyly, Adam popped the button on his jeans and wiggled them down along with his underwear. He pushed his clothes down to his ankles and off, cheeks red as he turned back, fully exposed. He kept his eyes down, too scared of seeing disappointment or disgust in Alec's eyes, but he stayed close, wanting the warmth and comfort of Alec's skin.

If Adam had said no, Alec would have been disappointed, but he would have understood. They were still learning each other's boundaries and he knew that Adam would need time to get used to certain aspects of dating. The hug had proven that.

When Adam began to undress, he sat up to watch, but didn't touch his boyfriend even though he wanted to until they were both naked. He had to force himself to keep his hands still, wanting to pull Adam close, but he had the feeling that it was more than just shyness that was causing the blush.

Taking Adam's hand, he kissed his knuckles, the palm of his hand, hoping that the gesture would cause Adam to look at him. "How did I get the hot magician boyfriend when I'm the grumpy cat of the Institute?"

"Who's this hot magician boyfriend?" Adam murmured, but he curled toward Alec, resting his head on Alec's shoulder and nuzzling at his throat. He felt shy and tentative, but he wanted contact and affection, and wanted Alec to keep talking to him. His cock felt acutely hypersensitive, so that Adam felt like any touch would hurt, and he needed to come so badly that he felt dizzy. "Alec," he whispered, extending the fingers of the hand that Alec was holding to brush against his cheek.

"The guy who dragged me into his bed," he teased, tipping his head back against the pillows so that Adam could keep nuzzling his throat. "The one who's fixated with my deflect rune."

Alec wasn't sure of all the rules related to sex, but he had assumed that cuddling happened after they both had come. Adam seemed content to be held, but Alec couldn't stop himself from feeling guilty that after Adam had made him feel amazing he wasn't trying to do the same for his boyfriend. Maybe Adam was nervous about letting someone touch him so intimately? Maybe he was too shy to ask Alec to do anything more than hold or kiss him?

Sliding a hand between them, he lightly ran his fingers along Adam's hip, barely touching, waiting to see if Adam would ask him to stop. "Is this okay?" No matter how shy Adam might be, he trusted him to tell him if he was going to cross a line.

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Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

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