Wei YIng | Wei Wuxian | Yiling Patriarch (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
diditmywei) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
marlowemuses2019-09-30 06:39 pm
diditmywei) wrote in marlowemuses2019-09-30 06:39 pm
Entry tags:
Lessons
Wei Wuxian had lost hope, but his pride had yet to falter.
The Wen Sect had attacked the Lotus Pier, using Wei Wuxian’s bad attitude as their excuse. He’d lost his home and his foster parents, such as they were, and Jiang Cheng had been bent on revenge. It had ended with them here, branded as traitors to the government. He didn’t know what had happened to Jiang Chen, but he assumed that his fate was much the same.
Time had blurred for him, though the unmarked stretches of time formed a pattern. There was the cold gray cell with the propaganda television upon the wall, proclaiming virtues and sins, and the Wen Sect’s superiority over all. There was the processing room, with the bureaucrat who explained his situation. He was now the property of the state. Because of his youth and his appearance (“Oh, are you saying I’m pretty? You’re not really my type, I don’t really go for lump-faced brown-nosers like you…”), he had the opportunity to be a helpmeet, if he would agree to yield to the training.
Wei Wuxian expressed that he was enjoying their hospitality so very much, he could not possibly wish to leave.
And then there was the torture, which went on for hours, until he wept and screamed. They explained to him that this was still a merciful torture, which left no damage. He still had the opportunity to become a helpmeet. He could serve an honorable clan and be well-treated. (“Oh, are you saying I can be someone’s bitch? I hope they’re prettier than you.”)
After the third round of this, they had informed him that this was his last chance. His last offer. If he would yield to the training and accept his role as a helpmeet, he would be fed and given soft clothes and allowed to rest. If he did not yield, he would suffer far more excruciating torture, and then he would be given the opportunity to enter a work camp or to labor in a mine. The more painful torture would leave him capable of work, but it would leave marks. He would no longer be pretty. (“You really are fixated on me being pretty! I understand that you are in love with me, but really this is no way to go about a courtship!”)
They threw him back in the cell.
Wei Wuxian had some regrets about his insubordination. It would perhaps not be the worst thing to be a helpmeet (especially if he was given to a pretty girl who wanted him as a stud!), but he could not endure yielding his pride and kneeling before some stranger. He did not want to become some mindless, simpering automaton. But the alternative was being tortured until he broke or died. Wei Wuxian was shameless, but he was very proud. He decided that he would be tortured to death before he broke and pleaded for mercy.
The next day, he was brought to a new cell. It was not at all what he expected. It was very large and very white, with a great many lights beaming down from the ceiling. There, they made him kneel in the middle of the floor, and chained his cuffs to a ring in the floor behind him so that he could not slump or stand. Wei Wuxian did not mind this so much. He was accustomed to kneeling.
In front of him was a large mirror that took up the whole wall. He suspected that it was a one-way mirror, so that whoever was on the other side of the glass could watch what happened in the room. Probably Wen Chao, he thought. It would be just like him to want to watch Wei Wuxian’s humiliation and torture, and to not do it himself.
He was left there for a long period of time. At least an hour, but he yet again had no way to tell how much time was passing. This seemed strange to him. Surely this was not the new, worse torture they had promised, and he had not yielded or agreed to cooperate, so there was no reason that they would take mercy on him.
Eventually, the door opened behind him. Wei Wuxian was very curious, so he twisted around to look. It was Lan Zhan!
This was a surprise. Lan Zhan was as flawless as ever, in his white GusuLan Sect clothes that looked like he was in mourning. He looked upright and dignified, so he was certainly not a prisoner here. As far as Wei Wuxian knew, the Lan Sect was still held in esteem by the Wen Sect and the government.
They were not exactly friends. Lan Wangji had never liked him, even though Wei Wuxian was always friendly to him and they had even fought together. Lan Zhan was still too uptight, and Wei Wuxian supposed that Lan Zhan found him inappropriate and annoying. He’d said as much! Almost half the words that Lan Zhan had ever said to him were things like ‘ridiculous’ and ‘pathetic’. Wei Wuxian considered him an ally, and would even have trusted Lan Zhan in most situations, but this was not a good situation. He couldn’t think of any good reason why Lan Zhan would be here, unless he had come to take part in Wei Wuxian’s humiliation.
“Do you work for the Department of Re-Education now, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asked, making his voice light and flippant, as though he had not been exhausted, starved, and tortured for days.
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Wei Wuxian is surprised at the way that Lan WangJi tends to him like his Shiije would, fussing attentively and taking more care with Wei Wuxian than he has ever bothered with for himself. Obedient and calm during this handling, Wei Wuxian keeps an eye on him as best he can while the hair drying and combing goes on. He's impatient for food, but he loves being fussed over like this. It makes him feel at home.
That brings up sad thoughts. His entire clan is dead or imprisoned, or on the run if they're lucky. So it isn't like home. Lan Zhan is the nearest thing to home now, and Wei Wuxian has to trust him. "What's the test like, Lan Er Gege?" Wei Wuxian asks him, voice sing-song and childish like it has been for much of this interaction, but as sharply clever as ever. So he has to pass this helpmeet test to get out of here, which means he may as well apply himself and learn it as quickly as possible. Or at least as quickly as he can endure, since he's already broadly ignoring many of the rules.
He's surprised again when Lan Wangji gives him the meat. This is pleasing to him, since he is always greedy for meat, but it's a level of care and generosity that he doesn't expect. Perhaps it is only that Lan Zhan does not like the meat, because Wei Wuxian remembers the vegetarian diet. Still, he is glad to have it, and the tea. He eats hungrily, looking around with interest at the hall while he does so. He notes the other helpmeets, most of them numb and silent, with none of Wei Wuxian's indefatigable spirits. "When I pass this test will we go to your home?" Wei Wuxian asks, wanting more information about the political status and Lan Zhan's standing in particular, and this is the safest way to ask it.
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Lan Wangji is surprised at his question that he couldn't answer. "..." He quietly eats, pretending not to hear him for a few moments. "We'll discuss later." His eyes wander to the armed weapons the guards has, looking nervous despite his calm expression.
The paired helpmeets and their trainers seemed to be mixed. There are more pairs of men and women in the group, men and men pairs come second, and only less than a handful of female and female pairs.
Lan Wangji paused, trying to figure out an answer. One guard waves a stick in front of him, and he knew he was listening into their conversation, and so answering.
"You'll be a respectable helpmeet to a respectable leader." He said. He landed a hand on Wei Wuxian's thigh to give him a squeeze, indicting the answer is yes.
That didn't last long when the said guard came over and hit Lan Wangji in the back so roughly with baton stick, making Lan Wangji seeing stars and spilled his tea.
"Hey, tell your whore to don't ask questions!"
Lan Wangji, once the pain subsided manage to sit up again. What comes out of Lan Wangji's mouth sound so unreal, "Yes, I'm quite sorry! I'm a weak trainer, I'm pathetic, I'm garbage. He shall be disciplined shortly. Mark my words!" Thus revealing the true reality that the guards bully the pairs with their weapons.
The guards laughed, and Lan Wangji was struck again on the back with the baton sick.
"Isn't that the lunatic? He looks like a pretty dumb slut just like you. Gonna make him your bitch soon?" And the guards laugh, and the trainers, usually the macho looking male trainers paired with the female helpmeets joins in, laughing at them.
Lan Wangji refused to answer as he's seeing stars from the pain for the second time. "..." He rubbed his back.
"Hey I'm talking to you!" And the guard hits him for the third time.
Lan Wangji did his best to stare at him stoicly, but he is now scowling and glowring with his temper and patience being pushed back. His golden eyes sharpen, feeling furious at the treatment, like a tiger being pushed into a corner. If he could summon his courage and spirits, he will wring the man and crushed him by the throat with his looks and bare hands. But he held himself back to protect his helpmeet. "He'll be medicated and I will cure him of his lunatic ways. He is weak and pathetic like me. As his trainer, I will cure him of his illness and train this slut and degenerate."
Eventually, the guard got bored since Lan Wangji answered what they wanted to hear and left him alone. With a sigh, he is relieved that the guard picked him and didn't bully Wei Wuxian.
When dinner is over, it's time to head for class. He took his hand, and join the others. It seems everyone is going there. The pain on his back becomes warm and will become a bruise by the end of the day. Softly, regaining his gentle self, and as calmly as possible, looking strong and dignified for his sake, "Let's go Wei Ying, it's time for evening class."
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Wei Wuxian became wary the first time the guard came by with his baton. His instinct was to get in the guard's face and challenge him further, but the beatings and torture he'd received in this place had taught him that such things would only make the situation worse, and he needed to be focused on getting out of here, now that Lan Wangji had created an opportunity. When the guard came back, Wei Wuxian braced himself, expecting to be struck.
The blow hit Lan Wangji instead. Wei Wuxian's blood went cold, and he almost bit through his tongue as he fought down the impulse to lunge at the guard. He was unarmed, but that wouldn't matter. He could take on four of them unarmed by himself. With Lan Wangji helping, they could take on a dozen.
The problem was, that wouldn't be the end of it. They couldn't fight their way out unarmed. Reinforcements would come.
Wei Wuxian had never thought they would hit Lan Wangji. A trainer, and a man from a noble family. He immediately dropped his head, keeping his mouth shut. He would not make this worse. They could hit him all they wanted, but he would not endure Lan Wangji being punished for him speaking out. His heart burns with fury.
He can almost feel it as Lan Wangji's temper sharpens dangerously. His hand closes over Lan Zhan's wrist, holding tight as the third blow falls. He keeps his head down, but his eyes study Lan Zhan's face. They both have to stay calm, but Wei Wuxian will not let him face this alone.
"Yes, master," Wei Wuxian murmurs, as they get to their feet. His hand stays locked around Lan Zhan's wrist, unwilling to let go after what just happened. This time he stays quiet as they go, and does not look at anyone.
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As they walk through the halls, hand in hand, Lan Wangji whispered, "Just sit next to me, copy and write if they ask. Hopefully, today it's just a reading. Don't speak. Only listen. Don't sleep. Or they will take you away and torture you. They are right, we are wrong." It's not a threat. He state it as a fact. He hoped Wei Wuxian will listen and obey him this time.
He squeezed his hand tightly as they entered the classroom together. A pair of armed guards stood by the door as they walked pass by.
It was only an ordinary classroom when they enter inside, and each pair of trainer and helpmeet took a seat. A pair volunteered to hand out the textbooks retrieved from the shelf. There's a white board with markers scribbled across, lessons from the night before. They are political slogans on one side of the board and new laws and regulations listed by the number on next row written neatly.
On the wall, there's a clock of hands ticking slowly. On top of the board, a few portraits of the rising leaders of the new regime. The windows are barred, so it's difficult to tell what the outside world is look like, but the sky is dark so it's evening.
The wooden desk and seat is wide, made for sitting for two person, so sitting next to each other. All aligned in a row. When seated, he has two textbooks, and gave the second copy to Wei Wuxian. "We're reading from that."
The teacher came in, and she came with a taser in hand. Following with the flow of the lesson, the class is centered on law and ethics, both civil and criminal, the rights of the owners and the helpmeets, and hierarchy of ruling clans and the party of the government. While the teacher read out loud, she would press that awful taser to anyone briefly by random, a shocking reminder of who is in charge, if she thinks they're not reading or listening to her reading out loud.
When the first half hour is over, everyone is allowed a short bathroom break, and then the last half of the hour resumed with her asking questions, picking a student by random to test if they read and learn anything. If anyone recited a line incorrectly, they were namecalled and shamed, but nobody protested. The class ended with the importance of education and praising the new government in a rather worshipful way.
The hour is finished and evening class is over. It's the longest hour of reading a massive law textbook. After class is dismissed, everyone quietly left. No one rushed. No one ran.
As they're heading to their room, he turns to him, "Wei Ying, this is recreation hour, and I have one hour. Some people go to the gym to work out or to the library and read. If you want to sleep and rest in my room, you can. I'll be doing laundry. If you want to stay up, you can accompany me to the laundry room."
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Wei Wuxian hates this. He no longer dares to speak out or to act foolish. Though he has learned discipline, he has only ever learned enough discipline to make do. He knows how to kneel, but not how to meditate on his behavior. He knows how to endure pain, but not how to yield.
His eyes flick around the room, wondering how everything has become so much worse than he realized. He knew of the government and the helpmeet program, but he didn’t understand the extent of it. He’d been so reckless, thinking himself invincible.
The instructor uses the taser on him for not paying attention. All of his muscles tense as he nearly leaps out of his chair at her, but Lan Zhan’s touch keeps him from reacting. He understands now that they will hurt Lan Zhan if Wei Wuxian does not behave. When they reach the repetition, the instructor calls on him repeatedly, expecting that he will be too foolish to get the answers right, but Wei Wuxian has taken it all in, and more. His book is a chapter and a half ahead of where he’s supposed to be reading, but he knows that Lan Zhan will stay on the right page, so Wei Wuxian always knows where they are. He answers flawlessly, expression blank.
It still confuses him why Lan Zhan is here. If not to enjoy his punishment, if not out of vindictiveness, then why? Lan Zhan is enduring all this and said that he wanted him specifically. It didn’t make any sense.
He doesn’t immediately know what he wants to do with the hour. The library may have information about his test. He could study for it so they could get out sooner, and so he could find weapons of information that might aid him later. He hates studying for the sake of studying, but he understands very well the power of information. He desperately needs and wants sleep, but he wants to be out of this place even more. And after their dinner beating, he doesn’t want to leave Lan Wangji alone. Plus, he wants any information he can get about the layout of this place.
“I want to stay with you, Gege ,” he says, putting a pouty whine in his voice, and ducking close to hide in Lan Zhan’s arms as someone passes by.
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It hurts him that he got shocked by the taser. He looks a lot less than the cheerful, bubbly boy he used to know. The blankness in those storm gray eyes. Wei Wuxian won't find any useful knowledge in the library. All of them are propaganda books, old tattered books that promote hate and self-destruction of identity.
For Lan Wangji, it's better to find work or work out in the gym to stay strong. He didn't stay in the cell room much to be recorded by the camera though pairs tend to do that during recreation behind closed doors.
They went to his room shortly. Lan Wangji remembered the spot of the taser injury. "It must have hurt." Because he remembered him screaming. He placed a hand on the spot, takes a deep breath, and sends a healing chi toward the spot to heal him. While sending his chi means depleting his own energy and becoming exhausted, he has long meditated on it to keep a reservoir of his energy just for him. "There, that should feel better."
Lan Wangji figures out a way to communicate to him, "Let's figure out a way to talk without using words. A code between us. If you ask me outside, then I will squeeze you or touch you or kiss you. That means yes. If I bite you lightly, it means no. When you need to ask me a question, ask me in this room. For now, yes if you pass the tests, then we can go home. I'll answer more questions and tell you the story of what happened when it's lights out and it's time to go to sleep."
Just a bit of a pause, then he kisses him on the lips briefly since he has longed to do so, longing for him. "You done well. I am so sorry. I want you to stay with me too. I want to bring you back to Gusu. Wo ai ni [I love you]." He means that from the heart as he made his mind up to finally say it for the trouble of the past few hours.
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The code makes him smile and blush, and his grin turns impish. "What good is this code if I can't actually ask you questions outside this room? All this about touching and kissing. And biting! You're going to bite me, Hanguang-Jun? You should have kept some of the meat for yourself if you're still hungry!"
When Lan Zhan kisses him on the lips, Wei Wuxian can only stare at him, blinking in stunned confusion and staring at Lan Zhan when he says that he loves him. He can't possibly mean that. Wei Wuxian is pretty sure that Lan Zhan doesn't even like him.
A moment later he realizes that Lan Zhan is saying it as part of their play-acting! Wei Wuxian was so gullible that he actually believed it for a moment. Feeling foolish, Wei Wuxian laughs and then nuzzles him. "Of course I love you, too, master," he flirts, kissing the side of Lan Zhan's throat. "Now no more healing me or I'll heal you right back! So let me see your back, how bad are the bruises?"
He squirms in Lan Zhan's arms, trying to wiggle around to get behind him.
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In the end, he changed his mind. His mind came to a complete halt. Everything in his mind completely stops. Nothing he says is working. Nothing in his thoughts is working. So he simply surrenders.
"My back is okay. I don't mind it. No, I don't want to bite you." Poor Lan Wangji. He was being honest. The truth is, by nature, he doesn't like talking or reciting those lines very much.
"Mn, okay." Lan Wangji believes him as he felt his throat being kissed, sighing, and he lets him go from his embrace. "At least, can you close and lock the door first? And then I'll...answer your questions."
As he does that, Lan Wangji is going to undress and strips out of his uniform, as there are fresh bruises on his back.
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"Now you don't want to bite me?" Wei Wuxian teases. "So fickle!"
He locks the door, staying close to Lan Wangji as his friend undresses. The bruises look awful, and he hates that Lan Zhan got hit because of him. Wei Wuxian runs his hand gently over the skin, wanting to make it better. He doesn't have much energy to spare, being already exhausted from everything he's been through, but he had said that he would, and he's not going to go back on that. He accepts that it means he won't be able to go to the laundry room, and then puts some of his energy into Lan Wangji to heal him.
Immediately dizzy and exhausted, Wei Wuxian flops down onto the lower bunk. He sits back against the wall and puts one of his legs up so that he can act casual and maybe Lan Zhan won't notice how exhausted he is. "I really thought these lessons were going to involve so much more oral sex technique! Not that I need any help with that." He does. He's never done anything, and isn't about to admit that Lan Zhan just gave him his first kiss. "What is this test I have to pass?"
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With a nod, "Mn...I don't know. I don't want to hurt you and seeing you get hurt." At that he sits on the bed next to him.
"But I want to see you." He said wistfully, saying the truth in his heart. For now, just having Wei Wuxian here with him is worth it. He shivers at his touches, his heart flutters at his touch. With gratitude, "Wei Ying, thank you. That felt warm. Much better."
He did say something about a cuddle. He wraps his arms around him for a cuddle. "The test is...they'll be watching us doing it...doing that." He stops. Finding words. "I have to train you to be a sex slave. Once your training is finished, you can be sold off to someone powerful. Those other helpmeets are being trained also."
Looking away, "I don't want you to hate me." But he's not letting go of him.
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"Wait, the test is sex?" He blinks a few times, considering the fact that he's going to have sex with Lan Zhan. He's not really sure how that's a test. Skill? Enthusiasm? Wei Wuxian will just have to master this. But at the rest of it he sits up suddenly with indignation. "Sold off to someone powerful!? I signed myself to you! What do you mean 'someone powerful'? I'm taking back my agreement if you're giving me away to someone like Wen Chao."
Sex with Lan Zhan he can endure. It's not like Lan Zhan is bad-looking, after all! If Wei Ying has to have sex with a man, doing it with Lan Zhan is not such a bad option. But not anyone else!
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Looking to the side shyly to hide his jealous look. "... ... ...hngh. I always thought Wei Ying likes pretty Yunmeng girls, so I don't want you to hate me if we're going to sleep together." Lan Zhan pressed his face on his hair. Lan Zhan has a faint scent of sandalwood and incense oils that he handled for his meditations. As of now he smells like the harsh, cheap soap.
He scowled, tighten his lip thinly, "No. I volunteered to be here! I...I have to bribe the head of the helpmeet department to get you here with me. I sold my guqin and gave up my life savings." For him, it's humiliating, but to win him back, that's fair trade.
"My brother and uncle said I made a big mistake. They joined the other clans too. But they let me in because I begged them and I paid them. I stood by the gate and kneeled until they let me in just to find you."
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But then the information becomes completely unexpected and almost unbelievable. Wei Wuxian's heart hurts and he is shocked to hear that Lan Zhan gave up so much--his guqin!--simply to find Wei Wuxian.
"You meant it," Wei Wuxian says, understanding this time. He pushes Lan Zhan back a little and climbs up to straddle his lap so that he can study Lan Zhan's face as closely as possible. "You meant it! You love me." He feels dizzy with this discovery, which is so absolutely unexpected. He always liked Lan Zhan and felt sorry that they didn't get along better and that Lan Zhan didn't seem to like him much. All this time, Lan Zhan loved him??
He rested his forehead against Lan Zhan's, feeling dizzy. Closing his eyes didn't help, because then he felt dizzy and exhausted. "Lan Zhan," he said, slightly loopy. "I'm going to fall asleep on you."
Slumping forward, Wei Wuxian nuzzled at Lan Zhan with a little whine as his head slid down between Lan Zhan's ear and his own arm. Interrogating Lan Zhan further about this topic was definitely going to have to wait.
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"Mn. I do. I love you. Wo ai ni." He murmured again, holding his frame in his arms and pulling up the blanket over to keep him warm. Wei Ying felt like a lightweight. All of this cuddling is very comforting. "Go ahead. Sleep. Rest. I will protect you and keep you safe."
The lights outside went out and everything went dark. Lan Zhan almost fell asleep with him in his arms. When moments later there's a short knock on the door. He took a moment to get up and open the door by a crack. It was a night nurse who is pushing a cart, stopping by every cell, handing out medicine.
"What is this..?"
"Medicine for your helpmeet."
"Hm. Thank you."
He was given a small cup filled with pills. So they truly believe that the medicine will cure his "lunacy"? He doesn't need any and there's nothing wrong with him. For all he knows, the medicine can be something else. Sedatives. Brainwashing. Aphrodisiacs. He heard stories from the other trainers what the pills are for and the side-effects on their helpmeets, to make them more compliant. He flushes the pills down the toilet. Pills are not necessary.
Exhausted from the ordeal of the day, at least one dream came true. He has Wei Wuxian back in one piece. He grabs an extra blanket from the top bunk, and he joins him on the small bed, limbs entangled and wrapped his arms around him loosely to hold him through the night.
"I'm here." He finds it comforting and feeling less stressful with Wei Ying as his helpmeet and holding him, clinging to him like this.
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He slept deeply. He had always loved sleep, as he loved all luxurious things and physical pleasures, and after the past weeks had kept him so constantly sleepless and exhausted, he slept straight through the night. Occasionally he shifted or squirmed into some new position, but he always nestled close against Lan Zhan, clinging to him in his sleep.
He only woke in the morning when Lan Zhan stirred him to get up.
Bleary-eyed and grumbling, Wei Ying whined at him. "Lan Zhannn," he fussed, sitting up only to flop back into bed and having to be dragged to his feet. "All right all right I'm up. I won't let them beat you."
He rubbed at his face, still grumbling, and stumbled into the bathroom to splash water on his face and brush his teeth.
"Hanguang-Jun, I haven't forgotten what you said last night," he called, grinning a little at the prospect of getting to tease Lan Zhan more about this. It still hurt him to think of Lan Zhan losing his instrument--and his money, but mostly his guqin. But knowing that Lan Zhan loved him made Wei Wuxian feel bright and playful, almost as bright as he'd felt before the torture, before the war and all the political drama.
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"Mm. Good morning, Wei Ying." How he longs to greet him again like this when he used to, back in his jingshi house when the days are good, the mornings bright, and he remembers the rooster crows always at five o'clock in the morning where every member of Gusu must wake up, and there's his uncle class to look forward too.
"There's breakfast we must go..." Lan Zhan's limbs feel heavy when he rose. He woke up Wei Ying as there's much to do...activities that Lan Zhan resents so passionately, but he doesn't have a choice since each day doesn't feel different than the last, and everyday felt like the same routine in this oppressive facility.
Lan Zhan reached over to pull Wei Ying into his arms and have him sit on his lap, wrapping him in his arms. He's becoming very attached to him. "Mn. What did I said last night?"
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That isn't what Lan Zhan said, specifically, but Wei Ying has his own priorities for this conversation. He dips his head, breath tickling at Lan Zhan's mouth, and he can nearly taste him.
"There's no time now, of course," Wei Ying says, pulling back with a grin because he loves nothing in the world better than teasing Lan Zhan. "We have to go to breakfast."
He stretched, leaning back a bit but not yet actually getting out of Lan Zhan's lap. "Do we get to start the sex lessons today, Er Gege?" he asks, trying to be as annoying as possible by calling him big brother in connection with that question.
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Wei Ying's lips and mouth feel very warm, very close. Still a tease. He wants warmer, closer. He kisses him passionately. He kisses him a lot. He inwardly cursed himself that he didn't kiss him sooner and much earlier before all of this happened. He didn't want their first kiss and first time in this damned place where there are rigid rules and schedules. Now the curfew back home in Gusu seemed so tamed and relaxed in comparison.
Lazily he feels his waists up and down, feeling the shape of his body. "Later today. After morning class." He didn't find him annoying at all.
"Mn, breakfast. When we walk outside, we have to lie. And lie a lot. Please, try to endure it. Even if it hurts. Let's try to bear it."
Slowly, as Lan Zhan got up. "So three truths before we walk out of here and eat. That I love you a lot. That you can trust me. And third, I won't let you die."
Taking his hand, whenever Wei Ying is ready to head out the door with him to start the day. Lan Zhan seems more relaxed and much less hurried now that he has Wei Ying with him. It's a matter of enduring the trials ahead of them together.
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The hands on his waist almost tickle, making him shiver with pleasure at each touch, and he feels desperate for more. Classes and lies sound stupid. He just wants to stay with Lan Zhan and kiss him more.
"I trust you," Wei Ying murmurs, giving Lan Zhan one last happy grin before he makes his face blank and looks straight ahead. "You can do anything you need to me."
He knows now that Lan Zhan loves him. Even if Lan Zhan has to hurt him or says unkind things to him, he trusts that it's only part of getting him out of this place. Whatever happens to him here, he will forgive. Wei Wuxian got himself into this place. Lan Zhan is getting him out.
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He finds courage in his trust and kisses, so with confidence as it's not broken yet, he can endure it.
Lan Zhan never lets go of his hand for the entire morning. Part of him, he's afraid they will take him away. He has seen one incident where the trainer was taken away, and the paired helpmeet went into hysterics before his training is complete. The helpmeet was no longer here, presumably sold away and the both of them was never heard of again.
Breakfast was bland congee and the morning classes aare the same as the evening from the night before, reading and reciting from the textbooks or writing and copying lines in the notebooks until hands go numb from writing. Except the lesson is about how to effectively "train" a helpmeet to make them ideal "citizens". It's hard on Lan Zhan to bear the class, but to him, a helpmeet is subhuman and furniture in the end.
It's a slow morning. When class is over, despite he walks slowly and kept calm, he couldn't wait to bring Wei Ying back to his room to start his "training" for real.
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Wei YIng is glad for that hand holding his. He holds tight, squeezing often when he needs reassurance or feels that Lan Zhan does, which is almost constantly. Remaining calm, unreactive, obedient, and most of all silent is an awful ordeal for him, and he struggles more and more as the hours pass, until he's practically trembling with the effort to contain his sass. But at last it's over and he can relax a little while on their way back to the room.
He's still twitchy and trembling, hand squeezing Lan Zhan's in compulsive, nervous patterns, all of which is deeply unlike him simply because he usually is able to express his energy or boredom in some other way, if only just rolling his eyes and groaning.
The moment that he has the door to their room locked, he presses close into Lan Zhan's arms, sliding his arms up around Lan Zhan's neck and breathing in the scent of his skin. It's nice being able to be so close to him like this. Lan Zhan is his comfort and his security, and for once he can touch Lan Zhan all he wants without getting scolded. "When is the test?" he asks, focused on that as his highest priority so they can get out of here.
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"Train first." He said while kissing him. "The test," Kiss. "Has several parts." Deeper kiss. "Endurance...obedience...psychological battery..."
He picks up Wei Ying to place him on the bed and pinned him to the bed, stifling a moan as he nips him between kisses unable to stop.
"I never have done this before. Do you ever sleep with anyone...?"
It was something he always wondered about since Wei Wuxian always flirts with girls, calling them cute, and it's clear they are both men under this circumstance.
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But Wei Wuxian cannot tease him about it, because Lan Zhan keeps kissing him, and Wei Ying doesn't want to interrupt him while he is answering this important question. Also, he is slightly distracted from his usual teasing because he really likes the way Lan Zhan kisses. Each time that Lan Zhan's tongue slides into his mouth he moans, and each time Lan Zhan's lips find his pulse points he gasps.
Endurance and obedience he thinks he can manage, as long as it is Lan Zhan. Psychological battery he didn't expect. For that, he will have to trust Lan Zhan. Whatever it requires, he will endure and Lan Zhan will keep him safe.
Laughing breathlessly as Lan Zhan picks him up, Wei Ying returns all these kisses joyfully, squirming and laughing at the nips to his skin. "So you are a biter!" he teases, batting playfully at Lan Zhan. "See, this is what comes of not eating your meat!"
His breath catches momentarily at the question, and he blinks up at Lan Zhan. He earnestly wants to laugh and bluff, bragging casually about all his experience. But he doesn't want to lie to Lan Zhan's face, and he is honestly a little nervous about doing this. Even though he's glad it's Lan Zhan, this isn't Wei Ying's choice. He doesn't have any option. He doesn't have the freedom to consider how he would feel and what he would want in other circumstances. As much as he might long for that, to flirt with Lan Zhan and to be courted in return, back in some idealized past when they were safe at the Cloud Recesses, it's not a real option.
Cheeks flushed, Wei Ying shakes his head. "Not even kissed."
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He's going too fast. "Fine...that's fine. I go slow. One thing at a time." He's really nervous especially when he's laughing at him, squirming from being held when he pounced him.
Taking a deep breath as he gathers his nerves and organized his thoughts. "I don't know when. For all I know, it's every two weeks. Sometimes, I heard they can ask at any given time. So it could be tomorrow, the end of the week, every two weeks, or the end of the month. They're not playing fair. Sometimes, I think it's a lottery. So that means I have to keep training you. To help you get ready for those tests."
Lan Zhan took a moment to sit up to get undressed and strips everything off until he's down to his briefs. "I imagine having sex, that means people enjoy it after marriage and have a family." He said sadly. He thought that maybe Wei Wuxian plans to get married to a nice girl someday even if he told him he loves him and he took it to the heart.
"Anyway, let's start with obedience. When I say 'strip' or 'undressed' that means I want you to take off your clothes until you're naked."
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All he can do is focus on what they have to get done, which is focusing on obedience and training to pass this test.
"Okay," Wei Ying says, starting to undress himself as much as he can with Lan Zhan on top of him.
He wants to reassure Lan Zhan, but he doesn't know how. If Lan Zhan genuinely doesn't want him to tease, and Lan Zhan's sad about doing this... Wei Ying feels shy and nervous, doubting Lan Zhan's desire for him and wondering if he's been too annoying.
"You don't have to go slow. I can take it."
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