marlowemuses | Lessons

Entry tags:

Lessons

Wei Wuxian had lost hope, but his pride had yet to falter.

The Wen Sect had attacked the Lotus Pier, using Wei Wuxian’s bad attitude as their excuse. He’d lost his home and his foster parents, such as they were, and Jiang Cheng had been bent on revenge. It had ended with them here, branded as traitors to the government. He didn’t know what had happened to Jiang Chen, but he assumed that his fate was much the same.

Time had blurred for him, though the unmarked stretches of time formed a pattern. There was the cold gray cell with the propaganda television upon the wall, proclaiming virtues and sins, and the Wen Sect’s superiority over all. There was the processing room, with the bureaucrat who explained his situation. He was now the property of the state. Because of his youth and his appearance (“Oh, are you saying I’m pretty? You’re not really my type, I don’t really go for lump-faced brown-nosers like you…”), he had the opportunity to be a helpmeet, if he would agree to yield to the training.

Wei Wuxian expressed that he was enjoying their hospitality so very much, he could not possibly wish to leave.

And then there was the torture, which went on for hours, until he wept and screamed. They explained to him that this was still a merciful torture, which left no damage. He still had the opportunity to become a helpmeet. He could serve an honorable clan and be well-treated. (“Oh, are you saying I can be someone’s bitch? I hope they’re prettier than you.”)

After the third round of this, they had informed him that this was his last chance. His last offer. If he would yield to the training and accept his role as a helpmeet, he would be fed and given soft clothes and allowed to rest. If he did not yield, he would suffer far more excruciating torture, and then he would be given the opportunity to enter a work camp or to labor in a mine. The more painful torture would leave him capable of work, but it would leave marks. He would no longer be pretty. (“You really are fixated on me being pretty! I understand that you are in love with me, but really this is no way to go about a courtship!”)

They threw him back in the cell.

Wei Wuxian had some regrets about his insubordination. It would perhaps not be the worst thing to be a helpmeet (especially if he was given to a pretty girl who wanted him as a stud!), but he could not endure yielding his pride and kneeling before some stranger. He did not want to become some mindless, simpering automaton. But the alternative was being tortured until he broke or died. Wei Wuxian was shameless, but he was very proud. He decided that he would be tortured to death before he broke and pleaded for mercy.

The next day, he was brought to a new cell. It was not at all what he expected. It was very large and very white, with a great many lights beaming down from the ceiling. There, they made him kneel in the middle of the floor, and chained his cuffs to a ring in the floor behind him so that he could not slump or stand. Wei Wuxian did not mind this so much. He was accustomed to kneeling.

In front of him was a large mirror that took up the whole wall. He suspected that it was a one-way mirror, so that whoever was on the other side of the glass could watch what happened in the room. Probably Wen Chao, he thought. It would be just like him to want to watch Wei Wuxian’s humiliation and torture, and to not do it himself.

He was left there for a long period of time. At least an hour, but he yet again had no way to tell how much time was passing. This seemed strange to him. Surely this was not the new, worse torture they had promised, and he had not yielded or agreed to cooperate, so there was no reason that they would take mercy on him.

Eventually, the door opened behind him. Wei Wuxian was very curious, so he twisted around to look. It was Lan Zhan!

This was a surprise. Lan Zhan was as flawless as ever, in his white GusuLan Sect clothes that looked like he was in mourning. He looked upright and dignified, so he was certainly not a prisoner here. As far as Wei Wuxian knew, the Lan Sect was still held in esteem by the Wen Sect and the government.

They were not exactly friends. Lan Wangji had never liked him, even though Wei Wuxian was always friendly to him and they had even fought together. Lan Zhan was still too uptight, and Wei Wuxian supposed that Lan Zhan found him inappropriate and annoying. He’d said as much! Almost half the words that Lan Zhan had ever said to him were things like ‘ridiculous’ and ‘pathetic’. Wei Wuxian considered him an ally, and would even have trusted Lan Zhan in most situations, but this was not a good situation. He couldn’t think of any good reason why Lan Zhan would be here, unless he had come to take part in Wei Wuxian’s humiliation.

“Do you work for the Department of Re-Education now, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asked, making his voice light and flippant, as though he had not been exhausted, starved, and tortured for days.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

“Good morning, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying greets him with a hesitant smile, which warms when he sees the liquor. He sets the jars aside to enjoy later. As much as he likes liquor, he’s more worried about Lan Zhan right now. He made tea in the morning, and made a little bit of food which he thinks is perfectly edible but might be difficult for anyone else to eat.

Still, he’s glad to see Lan Zhan with real food, since Lan Zhan makes delicious food. He’s also glad to see Lan Zhan seemingly unharmed. After Lan Zhan’s outburst last night, Wei Ying was very worried about his safety. “Welcome home. I made some tea. It’s a little oversteeped. Thank you for the liquor, Lan Zhan.” He’s not usually this careful or cordial, but he’s worried about Lan Zhan and wants to be careful with him. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

Lan Zhan is in the kitchen. There's a dish he has in mind to make for the both of them, real food since he didn't make any last night. Wei Ying worries for nothing other than he may have caught a cold from sulking outside the other night. He is calm now with no desire.

"You did?" He might as well helped himself to the tea and the food Wei Ying makes. "It's good. Thank you." It's slightly bland, but it's all right.

Lan Zhan guiltily looks over at the spot where he sat last night. "The guqin...? Where is it?" Since he remembered he smashed it the other night. He shouldn't have done that since it was an expensive instrument and he now has to borrow another clan member's guqin or string instrument and not his own to play.

"I put it away," Wei Ying tenses a little, nervous. He thinks he might try to very carefully put the tiny pieces of the guqin back together, but it will be an exhaustive task that may not be possible. But he wants it tucked away out of Lan Zhan's sight at least until he's sure that Lan Zhan isn't going to destroy anything else.

Sitting quietly as he sips at his tea and watches Lan Zhan, Wei Ying worries more. He's not entirely sure how to behave now or what is expected of him. He knows that he's safe and that Lan Zhan won't demand anything of him other than reasonable adherence to the Lan clan rules whenever he's outside of the jingshi.

"...Put it away?" Guqins are hard to make and put together, the strings won't be tuned right.

Lan Zhan sighed. "...Forget it. Give it up. I'll get a new one. It as good as firewood. There's the flute. You could play that." It was a suggestion. "So wherever you put it, put it in the stove. The house is cold."

At that, he washed his hands and his chickens as he gets ready to chop it up for dinner, make soup, boil rice, add seasoning, and resolve to speak little as usually does.

Wei Ying takes that as a request, and right now he is very inclined to fulfill any request from Lan Zhan. He fetches his flute and sits down in the kitchen out of the way, playing a sweet, wistful little ballad. He avoids anything romantic, just choosing songs about home and family.

He relaxes as he plays, feeling content to be here with Lan Zhan. His unhappiness and conflict from the days before has eased now. He still feels uncertainty, since he isn't really sure what his role will be or how he'll fill his days, but he doesn't want to be anywhere else.

"I'm happy to be here with you, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says, as he finishes a song. He wants Lan Zhan to know that his heartbreak wasn't for nothing. "I like this." Resting his chin in his hand, he watches Lan Zhan cooking. He thinks of his promise and is glad for it. No pretty girls, ever. Even if the two of them are only ever chastely devoted friends, Wei Ying is glad to have Lan Zhan by his side for the rest of his life.

"..." Lan Zhan finds he is out of words to speak. It's strange as he is empty of desire. It was so cold at the waterfall that he has chosen to literally freeze if it means not hurting Wei Ying anymore and make him cry. When he emerges, he willed himself to forget.

The songs of the flute are familiar to him as it fills the house, it distracts him. He chops the chicken, boils it, seasoning it well. "..." Lan Zhan wants to speak, but no words. Gone. No desire. Just his body fulfilling the purpose to work. But if Wei Ying is happy and feels safe, this is fine.

With whatever the last ounce of his strength, he managed fixed dinner for both of them. A simple dish of soy sauce chicken with rice. Wei Ying's plate has red chili to make it spicy.

"You must be hungry. Please eat." That's all he said and after Lan Zhan finished his meal with his tea since he's more worried if Wei Ying has something to eat, at last feeling exhausted from last night, he collapsed on the bed as he came down from a cold and a fever.

"Wei Ying. The stove...put wood in it to make fire warm."

Wei Ying stands when Lan Zhan collapses onto his bed, immediately worried about him. Lan Zhan was often so quiet and impassive, and Wei Ying hadn't noticed anything was wrong until Lan Zhan suddenly laid down like that. He came quickly to his side, touching Lan Zhan's cheeks and finding him burning with fever. "Of course. Right away."

He stokes the fire warm to heat the room, and then goes outside to find a couple of large stones to put inside the stove. It was something that his shijie had taught him, for when he had colds in the winter. He leaves them to heat up, and then returns to Lan Zhan's side, tucking him carefully into the blankets. "Any better, Lan Zhan?"

As the fire becomes kindled, the house becomes warmer as the warmth spreads.

"Mm. Better. Thank you." Lan Zhan draws the blanket toward to himself. He realized he's fatigue and getting sick, as he felt exhausted all the time. "Don't worry. I'll see the village doctor tomorrow." There's a cough to start.

There's only one bed though and Lan Zhan didn't get an extra bed. Quietly, he must share his thoughts, recalling them when he was at the waterfall before he can call Wei Ying to share the bed with him as a trusting friend again.

"...Wei Ying, it wasn't your fault. For everything. In the beginning, I was trying to save you. I have chosen too. Becoming that...wasn't my intention. You are my friend and classmate."

"You saved me," Wei Ying assures him, stroking Lan Zhan's forehead and staying close by his side. "You love me. Don't worry, you've proven that twice over now. I trust you. You're the most precious person in all the world to me. I want to spend the rest of my life at your side." Smiling at him, Wei Ying cups his cheek for a moment and just watches him. "Rest, Lan Zhan. I'll keep you warm."

Taking off his outer garment, Wei Ying climbs into the bed beside him, tucking close to share as much of his warmth as possible. He rests his head on Lan Zhan's shoulder and his hand over Lan Zhan's chest. "I'll stay with you, Lan Zhan. You don't have to worry."

Lan Zhan gingerly lifted the blanket, and this is what he likes the most with Wei Ying, and is most fond of. Sharing the bed and the warmth, and sharing pillow thoughts and simply talk. But he refrains from hugging him and touching him unless Wei Ying him wanted too.

"..." He lies back down on the bed. He hasn't slept properly last night. "My parents died when I was young, so I'm worried about people leaving me. I have an uncle, brother, and my rabbits. I taught the juniors. But it was lonely." He said, being candid.

This is comforting, that Wei Ying willingly comes to him. Though Lan Zhan wasn't too confident. He removes his headband and set it aside. "I'll get you a bed as soon as I could. This must be inconvienent to you."

"It's not inconvenient," Wei YIng says, glad that Lan Zhan isn't uncomfortable having him close. "You're warm. I'm always cold here without you. I slept alone last night, and I would much rather sleep beside you."

He nuzzles very slightly at Lan Zhan's shoulder, making sure that the blanket is tugged up and that Lan Zhan is tucked in warmly. "I won't leave you, Lan Zhan. I am content to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that is not something which we have much choice about, but there is no where I would rather be. I want to live here, in Gusu, in this jingshi, with you. I promise. Even if the government changes, I will stay by your side."

His body relaxed as he felt warm for the first time since before their fight. Wei Ying had also slept very little, and he quickly became drowsy. "Are you warm enough, Er-Gege?"

"Wei Ying. I don't know... If I have money, let's run away somewhere. Maybe another country." But Lan Zhan doesn't have much money. His brother and uncle has money, so he's at the bottom of the Lan family hierarchy. "I heard over the west, across the ocean, people are free without fear." But finding a vehicle to travel that far is impossible.

"I'm warm. Thank you, Wei Ying." Lan Zhan remains as still as possible. Have Wei Ying come to him without fear. But he turns away, facing the wall. Not touching him or stroking his hair. It's difficult, he likes being affectionate to Wei Ying through touch.

"...I am here. You won't be cold as long as I'm here. You're a good friend for not leaving me. I wish you have a home to go back to."

"Your family is here, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says. "Your home, your clan." He's not sure if Lan Zhan is serious about the thought of running away, but he feels that Lan Zhan is not in the right state of mind to make decisions. Not while he's sick and heartbroken. Maybe in the future, if Lan Zhan still wants it in a couple of months. "My home is also right here." Wei Ying gently pats Lan Zhan's chest. Even though he still feels skittish and does not want to be touched or caressed, he feels certain about wanting to share his life with Lan Zhan. His home is here, with his friend. "We'll stay, Lan Zhan. We're safe here, and I will always obey you and behave when we are outside of our home. Don't worry about those things. Rest now."

"You're right, Wei Ying." It's only wistful thinking. In the end, he won't go unless Wei Ying goes with him, and Lan Zhan needs his family in the end. He has loved Gusu with all of his heart, meditating in these lands that he's almost one with nature. In the end, even if he now resents living here, he just can't go.

Of all the places Wei Ying wanted to feel at home, where he's trying to feel him, Lan Zhan's heart. It's complicated and not so simple. Yet it echos Wei Ying's wishes, and that felt just about right.

"Mm..."

His arms almost trembling, but he gives Wei Ying a brief hug before he becomes listless and drifts off to a dreamless sleep. Hopefully, tomorrow and the rest of the months, the political situation improves and good news will come.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lessons

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject