marlowemuses | This will be happily ever after...

Laurent slid to straddle Damen's lap, thighs pressed on either side of his hips. He hugged his arms around Damen's shoulders, tucking his face against the side of Damen's neck and just hugging tight for a few minutes. "I'm tired," he said, offering that small piece of vulnerability to Damen. "I feel like I've been exhausted since I reached Marlas."

Damen was so warm, so solid and safe. Laurent let his eyes shut and his breathing slow, trusting himself entirely to Damen.

Damen settled the welcome weight of Laurent around him with a quiet sigh of contentment. He'd rarely felt Laurent so relaxed, the looseness of his body tangible against Damen's own. It seemed a proof of trust of him. So did the confession.

Approvingly, he stroked one big hand slowly up and down Laurent's spine. It was strangely comforting, offering him comfort without aiming for anything more. Damen was aware of the smoothness of the skin beneath his fingers, the heartbreaking fineness of the bones, the muscles that were so often tensed, things he would have noticed in a sensual context too, but it was different this way. It meant learning Laurent for his own sake, not as part of any seduction.

Damen's chest rose and fell against the slim torso finding refuge there. He found he loved being the one Laurent turned to for this. He hoped to the ends of the earth it wasn't a trick.

"Then rest," he murmured, and his lips traced the curve of Laurent's brow. "Take what you need." His arms tightened around Laurent. For one night, he would shut out the rest of the world and let them just breathe with each other.

"Mm," Laurent responded, sleepy and incoherent. He sighed once, relaxing deeper into the comfort and warmth of Damen's arms.

"Damen," he murmured, barely audible, and not awake enough to be saying anything coherent. Nuzzling at Damen's throat, Laurent sighed again, and drifted into sleep, trusting Damen simply to hold him.

For a while, Damen simply watched him, letting his thoughts drift wherever they may. His longing for this all to be real had never been greater. A sense of peace settled over him, seeing Laurent at rest with him, feeling him let down his defenses and simply lean on him, trusting him enough to fall asleep in his arms.

The sleepy murmur of his own name from Laurent's lips plucked at something tight and aching in his chest. Damen closed his eyes and arched into the soft nuzzle of Laurent tucked against his throat. He hardly dared move a muscle. He wanted this to infinitely last. The only parts of him that stirred were the deep constant breaths filling his chest, the slow graze of hands over Laurent's back.

His. But he could not say it. Not without breaking the beauty of this peace between them.

When sleep began to touch the edges of his own consciousness, Damen drew the slumbering Prince very carefully with him into the bed, tucking sheets and then himself around him. Damen unpinned his chiton and let the fabric simply pool at his waist. He hadn't bothered with any other garments today, nothing underneath that he need remove to sleep freely. The bareness of skin soothed him as he wrapped his chest around Laurent's back, his arms around shoulder and waist, and his forehead curled against soft blond hair.

This evening's fantasy had come true. Who could have ever predicted it?

Laurent grumbled softly as he was shifted, nuzzling at Damen in sleep. He settled against Damen on the bed, claiming one of Damen's hands and winding their fingers together.

When he woke, warm and safe in his husband's arms, Laurent smiled, feeling content and well-rested for the first time in weeks. He shifted in Damen's arms, rolling over so that he could nuzzle and kiss at Damen's cheeks to wake him.

Everything felt easier and more hopeful this morning, with simple intimacy and no expectations. Laurent found himself smiling, wanting very much for all this to be real.

Damen slept like the dead that night.

His bed - their bed - was warm and perfect, troubles set aside to be with each other simply and peacefully. He'd needed the rest too. He'd been running on a handful of snatched hours over the past two days. Morning seemed to come too soon.

Except morning also brought a kiss and a wriggle of a body that he knew was not any of the usual suspects (though his own body had its usual waking interest in said wriggling companion.) Damen was half amazed that Laurent hadn't snuck out and left him to wake up alone. He found he was wonderfully glad for that.

He gave a little, lazy smile too, before he even opened his eyes. His biceps loosened around Laurent as he rolled, then snugged back against him, Damen on his back with Laurent over his chest.

"Morning?" It was a question and a greeting all at once. Damen yawned and cracked open his eyes, threading his fingers through Laurent's hair, fluffed up from bed. The smile broadened. "We made it. Well-done, us."

Edited (cause morning kingwood) 2017-02-20 00:00 (UTC)

Laurent smiled at him, stealing soft kisses from Damien's lips as they woke up. "It helped that we were both asleep and thus had no occasion to argue."

Nipping once at Damen's chin, Laurent laid his head on Damen's chest, making himself comfortable. He was still wearing his trousers from last night, which were too tight to lounge in comfortably, but at least protected his dignity. Which could not be said for Damen, whose sleep-rumpled garment hid absolutely nothing about his condition.

"I see that your situation is... to be expected," Laurent teased, giving Damen's nipple a light flick.

"Even that is an accomplishment. I think we deserve to celebrate it." With kisses and a furtive rub of bare thigh against silky not-bare-at-all thigh.

Damen gave a harumphing grunt as the sensation toyed at his nipple, sliding down his spine. "Nobody asked your opinion." Indeed, Laurent would find his King tended to awake in that...situation, more often than not.

"I was going to remove these, last night..." Damen's hand skimmed down one trouser leg. "But you sounded so put out at simply being laid down that I could not bear to disturb your rest with any more commotion. Are they...uncomfortable now?"

He did not quite venture between, but his fingers came dangerously close.

"They're not the most comfortable attire for sleeping, no," Laurent agreed, slightly hesitant about being naked with Damen, since things had gone so poorly before. "Thank you for letting me fall asleep on you. It was... nice."

Embarrassed by the confession, Laurent tucked his face into Damen's neck, hiding his blush. He nipped briefly at the skin of Damen's throat to help distract him.

They were making progress. Laurent sounded almost boyish, the sharpness and angularity of him tucked away into a surprisingly sweet shyness.

Damen smiled, head tilted to allow Laurent to rest there under his chin. Even allowing those nips. "It was nice," he agreed. "As is this. We have nowhere pressing to be. Will you stay abed with me a while? Now that we are rested...I would be glad for the chance to talk a bit."

He wasn't angling for anything sexual, in other words. On the contrary, he wished to find out certain things and this seemed like the best place to talk about them. His hand found a lace. "Would you prefer to stay in them?"

"I... suppose I would. It would make me less nervous. Though I'd rather change into pajamas, but that would mean getting up and leaving my husband's embrace. And he makes a comfortable mattress." Laurent kissed Damen's cheek, pleased by the prospect of staying with him and talking. "What would my husband like to discuss?"

Keeping an interested eyes on Damen, Laurent toyed idly with a strand of Damen's hair, enjoying being able to explore him.

Nervous. Truly? Damen slid a studying look at him. He remembered what Laurent had said last night, and started to wonder if he wasn't the only one left feeling vulnerable by their disastrous sexual encounters so far. He simply nodded and left the laces alone. He liked the way Laurent called him by that name.

Mornings, Damen's hair was even more of a wild mane than it was after being tamed in the bath. Curls launched themselves in every direction, and the moment Laurent let one go, it would spring up more enthusiastically than before.

"Yesterday," Damen said. He spread his hands over Laurent's bare back. "You were angry when you left the room. You have parted in anger every time we try to make love. I begin to think that I am - unwittingly forcing my attentions on you." Those soothing strokes returned, a slow rhythm tracing Laurent's shoulderblades. "Will you tell me, husband, what angered you, so that I may know what to avoid in the future?"

Laurent tensed and quieted. He'd avoided thinking too much about the details of their intimacy together. There were quite a few details of their marriage that were easier not to think about. Better to focus on the good things, and try to nurture the seeds of hope between them.

After a few moments, Laurent squirmed away from him. He rolled over, turning his back on Damen and curling into himself, struggling with the words that Damen required of him.

"Give me a moment," he said, choked, because he had to answer. He'd promised Damen his honesty, and he needed to find a way to provide it, even when it was wrenching.

Alarmed, Damen felt his fears confirmed as Laurent pulled away from him, the comfortable relaxation exchanged for tension and separation. He nearly reached out to touch Laurent, and drew his hand back just in time.

Instead, he tucked the sheet around Laurent's back and left the space between them unbreached; a quiet but unmoving presence beside him. Laurent had promised him honesty, and in turn he had offered to listen, to respect his wishes and treat him as an equal.

"As much as you need," he promised, settling back to simply watch the curled line of Laurent's back, the barely visible contours of his face.

"You make me feel vulnerable," Laurent said. The words were half stifled by his arm. He felt half sick with tension, because honesty made him even more vulnerable. "You made me feel used. You said that I belonged to you, as you held me down, and then you... you came on me like you were marking me. Claiming me."

Laurent shuddered, feeling more miserable by the word. It hadn't been so bad when he hadn't had to quantify what had made him lose his temper. Laying it out made it all the more awful.

"You made me feel vulnerable, and then you made me feel like a whore," Laurent said. He shuddered again, emotions and confidence crumbling because he had nothing left to use as a defense, not if he was being honest.

That said, he got to his feet, not looking back at Damen because he didn't want to see the look on the king's face.

Vulnerable, he knew already. But used... Damen didn't know how to absorb this new information. Restraint. Mark. Claim. Whore. The images flashed in a series of increasingly disturbing visions of himself, as Laurent must see him.

He frowned, troubled by the knowledge. His first instinct was to defend himself against the allegations - but no, that wouldn't do any good, and besides it wasn't about him. Laurent's feelings and reactions to his own actions were at the forefront here. And he had a clear responsibility to try and make it right, if he could.

"I am - sorry, Laurent." The words did not come easily to his lips. But they must. Damen sat up, hands in his lap where the sheet pooled over him. "I seem to misstep at every turn when it comes to you. I thank you for your honesty. I - didn't know."

He spoke haltingly, trying to choose his words carefully. "I would like to be honest as well. To have the chance to explain my own intentions, if they might ease your hurt at all. If you will stay and listen."

Laurent seemed on the verge of fleeing; he had already fled the bed, and Damen didn't know how they were ever going to move past this if one or both of them kept running away.

Laurent returned warily, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching Damen. He wanted to trust Damen, wanted to try and deepen the trust and honesty between them.

Face guarded, he watched Damen, willing to hear what he had to say. He appreciated the effort, knowing that Damen was unused to any of this. He was also unused to any of this, and could feel his heart pounding with emotions. He'd promised Damen his honesty, but if that honesty displeased Damen, he'd be left without any defenses.

It was a good first step. Now if he could only manage not to scare Laurent away again with his clumsiness.

Damen found it easier not to look him in the eyes for this part. "I was angered that anybody should touch you against your will. I told you you did not belong to them. What I should have said - what I believe - is that you belong to yourself; your body is your own, to share with whom you will."

He found the courage to glance up, though tentatively, at the man before him. "I was honored that you chose to share it with me. I would not have continued as I did if I knew you felt used because of it. I never want to make you feel that way again."

And yet - was that possible? He could no sooner deny his own passionate nature than Laurent could deny his pointed tongue and provocative nature. There was still that small part of Damen that could not help wanting to do exactly what Laurent had said - to mark him, to claim him as his own - but he pushed it down and out of his thoughts for now, as something that would send Laurent running, never to return.

Laurent softened, pleased by the honesty and the efforts Damen was making. Sinking back down onto the bed by him, Laurent leaned over to give him a light kiss on the lips.

He didn't think that it was the kink of it that he minded, and part of him liked the idea of belonging to Damen, being possessed and claimed, but with all of his nerves and doubts it hit hard upon his insecurities.

"You're not bad at this talking thing," Laurent said, scooting to sit against the head of the bed, hugging a pillow as he watched Damen.

Damen could hardly believe that Laurent wasn't running as fast as he could. Amazed and relieved, he stayed very, very still as Laurent settled back on the bed and - oh - kissed him, lightly but deliberately.

He watched his husband's movements closely, unsure of what Laurent wanted from him now. It seemed safest to let Laurent make the first moves when it came to touching or proximity. Damen folded his legs into a more comfortable sitting position. "I'm going to get lots of practice at it, I think," he said, a wry look at Laurent. "On mornings where there is nothing scheduled early, this would be - nice." His hubsand's favorite word.

Laurent was so good at lounging. Damen arranged a pillow awkwardly behind himself and leaned against the headboard in suit. "What is your morning routine in Vere?"

Laurent smiled, pleased and comforted by Damen's efforts, and leaned his head on Damen's shoulder. "Sleeping in, stealing a few pastries and a jug of tea from the kitchen, and then sneaking off to the library or the woods and spending the day reading. Not so much stealing, either, really. Since I was twelve, there has been a conveniently placed jug of tea and bundle of pastries lying specifically unattended on a certain table in the kitchen."

A grin twitched at one side of Laurent's mouth. He knew that his servants were fond of him, and it was mutual. He missed them already.

"I was mostly left to myself, unless there was some topic that my father wanted me tutored in, or if they required me to appear at court or dinner."

Gently, with the sort of excruciatingly slow movements he'd use around a skittish wild forest thing, Damen wound an arm around Laurent's shoulders. Those mornings sounded idyllic to him, almost too good to be true for a Prince's life. He compared it with his own upbringing, his habits here, where days like today were rare treats for him. He'd given specific instructions not to be disturbed for a few hours in the mornings of his honeymoon.

Damen smiled too. "I think we can manage tea and pastries in Ios." His thumb stroked an idle path along Laurent's bicep. "I'm afraid sneaking off won't be as possible now, but as Prince-Consort, you can do almost exactly as you please. Do you already have ideas of what you'd like to work on, when our travels are over?" He already had a suspicion what it would be - something Laurent seemed very passionate about, and which he was already turning over in his head how to possibly make it work - but he was mostly trying to listen today to what Laurent had to say and understand him a little better.

Laurent nestled more comfortably against Damen, very much enjoying their morning plans of cuddling and talking. "I know I'll have to do quite a bit of work. More than I've ever done before. I have a lot of learning to do--I need to perfect my Akielon language, and quickly. I'll need to secure alliances in the court, find out who can be trusted, find out the stated motives and hidden motives of your courtiers and nobles. I'll need to understand current Akielon policies and the reasons for them, so I can understand how best to advise you and where there's opportunity to improve funding and resources to education and orphanages, and to improve the rights and protections of slaves, laborers, and the poor."

Nervous about laying all that out and hoping that Damen wouldn't dig his heels in too much, Laurent wound their fingers together, trying to act unconcerned while he watched Damen from the side of his eye.

Happy that the serenity of the night before had been restored and perhaps even deepening, Damen let himself ease at Laurent's side. His skin felt warm against the Prince's. Contentment seeped out of him, rumbling silently in the steady thump of his heartbeat. There was something quietly intimate about being chest to bare chest, sharing plans, telling secret hopes, something he wasn't sure he'd felt before in this way. It wasn't sexual, but he'd be lying if he said the thoughts weren't there, lying dormant for now.

Yes, the latter part of Laurent's plan was quite as Damen thought it might be. He dipped his head in half-nod, half-brush of lips to his husband's fair hair. "I will give you every help I can to help our people." Ours. It was a strangely comforting feeling. It made him feel as if he...wasn't quite so alone anymore.

"Who can be trusted." Damen looked at him thoughtfully. "Is this because of Kastor? He's been banished for months. But I fear there are still some loyal to him at my court." He traced the pad of his finger over the soft flesh curve of Laurent's thumb. Wondering how much to trust him. Deciding that if Laurent was planning all this to destroy him, there were easier ways.

"I am a commander of men, Laurent. I do not have the skill to find out traitors. It was not a skill I thought I needed in Akielos." And he did not even have to say it for them to both know the truth. But you do.

"I find that loyalty or disloyalty is not a black and white matter," Laurent said, by way of response. He turned his head, brushing his nose lightly against the line of Damen's jaw. "People are driven by an array of loyalties, and those loyalties often come into conflict with each other. Perhaps you have an advisor who has been loyal to you for years. And yet, this advisor has a son who has become involved with a dangerous, violent faction. Anarchists or cultists. And, imagine, your loyal advisor has to choose between having his wayward son arrested and imprisoned or even killed, or protecting him and trying to decrease the damage of his crimes. It isn't the advisor's loyalty that's the problem, you see?"

Contented with cuddling and talking as Laurent taught what he knew and tried to open Damen's eyes to a court full of more nuanced loyalties, Laurent brought Damen's hand to his lips, gently kissing the knuckles. "Imagine a noble whose mother is Vaskian, and that mother has been embittered for years with the opinion that your policies do not adequately favor Vaskian interests. When that noble, then, sees Vaskian scouts too far inland on Akielon territory, will he report them?"

Laurent shifted in Damen's arms so that he could watch Damen's face, and hooked his long legs over Damen's thighs. "It's not just about Kastor, though banishment, especially such recent banishment, means that Kastor is still a very real threat to us. Any unhappiness that your people have, any disenfranchisement of any group, will leave a weakness for Kastor to exploit. If we increase the legal protections over slaves, then the slave owners and slave traders will chafe against it, and all Kastor will have to do is promise them that if he were the king, he would bring them prosperity. It wouldn't matter if he was lying. What you need isn't the skill or assistance to simply find out traitors. You need assistance in finding out the varying motivations of those in power, and shifting those motivations so that they benefit you."

Edited 2017-02-22 00:31 (UTC)

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