marlowemuses | Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Alec had known that after the wedding disaster, he wouldn't be in his parents good graces. Robert had stuttered some attempts at either trying to be supportive or questions about how Alec had suddenly become gay. Those encounters were awkward, but they were tolerable most of the time. He hated how relieved Robert seemed now that Magnus was gone. He probably thought without the 'corrupting influence' of Magnus, Alec would become the good son again.

Maryse was more difficult to deal with. There was no attempts at understanding. She was furious at him for humiliating the family in front of the most important Shadowhunters. The ones that she was trying to manipulate for favors. As usual, her anger spilled out in harsh critiques of her older children. Whenever he could, Alec took the worst of it to save Izzy. This time the lecture covered a wide range of subjects.
His inability to control his siblings or Clary. The wedding. Magnus. He took it all silently, letting her question all of his decisions, his talents, his ability to lead. It was all things Alec had heard before but they still cut deeply.

Standing at parade rest, he silently waited for the lecture to end, clenching his jaw to keep himself from arguing with her or trying to defend himself. It wasn't until she mentioned being assigned to Adam that he finally spoke. "The Clave thinks that I'm capable of protecting him and so does he."

"What does a Mundane know?" she snapped. "You couldn't even keep the Fairchild girl safe. You did your best and it almost got her killed, Alexander. Do you believe we should take that risk with someone who can restore the Institute to its proper glory?" He continued arguing, but he knew it was a losing battle. Mayrse was planning on having him replaced. Probably with Jace and there was nothing he could say to prevent her from going to the Clave to request someone else be Adam's bodyguard.

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Adam laughed softly at Alec's squirming and annoyance, and he was glad to find that ticklish spot. "You'll have to find all the spots I'm ticklish," he said, soft as a promise. "To make sure I don't get bored." He smiled at Alec at that, certain that he wasn't going to get bored. Adam had no idea what boredom was like, he'd never had the leisure for it, and he couldn't fathom it being a problem when it came to his handsome and dutiful boyfriend.

His breath caught as Alec's shirt came off, revealing his bare chest marked with runes and dusted with dark hair. Flushing deeply with arousal, Adam reached out tentatively, sliding his hands over Alec's chest. He explored with his fingertips, awed at Alec's strong, broad torso. "I think it's working," he said, dipping his head to kiss Alec's chest just below his clavicle. "What was the desired outcome of the seduction plan?"

"Eventually I will." As he spoke, he traced part of a Voyance rune along Adam's shoulder. "Whenever I think you look bored."

Stretching out against the pillows, he watched Adam, waiting to see how he'd react, afraid that he'd start comparing when that effort would be unfair to them both. Different lives. Different physiology.

The heat that spilled across Adam's skin didn't seem to be embarrassment or any sign of nerves. Assuming that Adam touching his chest was permission for him to touch, Alec began skimming his hands along Adam's sides. He made sure not to linger over the scars and marks, treating each the same as the unblemished places. His fingers stilled when Adam found a sensitive spot that caused his breath to hitch. "You - " He stuttered when Adam kissed his chest. "You said you wanted to make out for an hour."

"I do." Adam rested his arms on Alec's chest, lounging atop him like a mattress. "We are. Aren't we? But if you want to seduce me, that implies... more."

Ducking his head because he was pretty sure Alec was just teasing about that and now Adam had made an issue out of it, Adam kissed his chest again, a little lower, then hesitated, worried that Alec would think he was asking for more.

"I'm okay with just kissing. Is this okay?" Shy suddenly, Adam moved up and nuzzled at Alec's cheek.

Letting out a snort that was mostly laughter, he arched an eyebrow at Adam before stretching out to get more comfortable. "It seems like it's a combination of making out and using me as a pillow." Before Adam could think he didn't like how they were tangled up together, he stole a quick kiss. "I'm happy to be your pillow."

Biting his lip, he kept from moving the way they had before. Part of him wanted to go back to what they'd been doing before, kissing and grinding against each other, but Adam seemed shy now. "I was planning to seduce you. Planning means taking my time to think about how to do it right. I don't want you to be disappointed."

That thought almost led to others that Alec didn't want to think about. Twisting slightly, he pressed a kiss to the side of Adam's neck. "I'm okay with it. I doubt I'll ever not be okay with kissing."

Adam smiled and blushed, relaxing again with the reassurance and the idea of Alec wanting to treat him right. "Don't worry, you're much more to me than a pillow," he said, kissing Alec's nose. "You're a mattress."

Grinning playfully, Adam surged forward and kissed him, sliding his tongue into Alec's mouth to steal his retort and lingering in the kiss, shifting very slightly against Alec to enjoy the feeling of Alec's body beneath his own.

"I could never be disappointed in you," Adam said, when he finally let Alec breathe again. He cupped his hand against Alec's cheek, studying his eyes. "Maybe angry and frustrated sometimes. But you've never disappointed me."

Whatever teasing or snarking comment he was going to make about being upgraded to the status of mattress disappeared when Adam kissed him. For a moment, he didn't quite register what was going on, that this was different than the kisses they had shared before. Then he was urging Adam to deepen the kiss, control slipping as he arched his hips upward, fingers curling around the waistband of Adam's pants.

As Adam pulled away, Alec gently nipped his boyfriend's lip, blushing when he realized what he'd done. That hadn't been just kissing.

Alec began to apologize, but the idea of not being a disappointment pulled him away out his embarrassment. If that was true, then Adam would be the first who had never been disappointed in him. His siblings, his parabatai, they all believed he'd failed. Ignoring the voice in the back of his mind that warned eventually he'd disappoint Adam too, he kissed his boyfriend's palm, his flush brightening over the hope that settled in his chest. "I know I've made you angry and frustrated. Even when we fought, you didn't disappoint me."

Adam gave a little groan of pleasure as Alec ground up against him, kissing him back deeply. He panted as the kiss broke, smiling as Alec nipped a this lip and then turned his face to kiss Adam's palm.

"I want you so much," Adam murmured, rubbing the tip of his nose against Alec's just to torment himself with having Alec's lips so close but not kissing him.

Sitting up a little, Adam ran his hands up Alec's chest, cock aching as he admired his boyfriend. Adam's fingertips hesitated over Alec's nipples, circling each of them simultaneously to see how sensitive Alec was there.

"I did research," he admitted, dipping his head to kiss one of those nipples.

Alec doubted that this counted as 'just kissing' but he wasn't going to complain. Not when Adam was hard against him, making sounds that made it even more obvious that they both wanted this.

As he tried to catch his breath, he slid his hands along Adam's sides and along his ribs, making sure not to tickle his boyfriend. "I want you." The words turned to a moan when Adam moved against him. Bucking his hips, he flushed brighter, another moan catching in his throat as Adam began exploring his chest.

"What kind of research?" His voice sounded ragged and he might have whined. It had to be different than what Alec had tried in the past since he'd never been sensitive in the spots that Adam kept finding.

"Gay sex," Adam answered, breath puffing against Alec's nipple as he spoke. He kissed it again, soft and playful, and then flicked his tongue across it, testing to see what got the best reactions. Alec was so sensitive and responsive that it was a pleasure to explore him, and Adam very much liked his position atop Alec. "It's not exactly on the curriculum where I come from." Tilting his head, Adam widened his mouth and bit lightly against the side of Alec's pectoral, attentive to him to see whether he was receptive to being bitten.

Lifting his head again, Adam rested his arms on Alec's chest and leaned in to take another kiss, lingering for a few moments in the kiss. "Fingered myself a few times in the shower," he confessed against Alec's lips, looking up at him through his lashes. "Thinking about you."

Had Alec taken a few extra steps when he'd went from 'I think I like guys' to 'I'm gay'? It felt like it since he hadn't jumped right into the type of research Adam had covered or even figuring out what he liked. Maybe if he'd had the same type of motivation Adam had he would have been more thorough on those topics.

He couldn't quite stay still as Adam teased his chest, squirming slightly when the sensation tickled, arching closer when Adam kissed and licked his nipple. "I doubt it's the curriculum at most places." Breath catching when he felt teeth against his skin, he wasn't quite sure if he liked that particular kink or not. That might take more experimenting later to see.

Letting out an annoyed huff, when the kiss ended too quickly, his eyes darkened as he imagined Adam in the shower, getting off from fantasies about him. Even with the mention of research, he hadn't expected Adam to say that.

Wrapping his arms around Adam's waist to keep him on his lap, Alec sat up so that it would be easier to start his own 'research'. Kissing along Adam's neck, he focused a spot low enough that it'd be covered by a shirt if he left a mark. "What did you think about me doing?"

Adam's breath hitched as Alec started kissing at his neck, and he relaxed into Alec's arms, trusting Alec enough to enjoy being handled by him. "I haven't..." Adam started, then gasped softly at another of the kisses, "... had the opportunity to start getting creative," he admitted. As Alec started focusing more intently on one spot, Adam gave a tiny whimper, panting against Alec's ear as he clung tighter to him. "Just wanted to figure out if I liked anal at all. I imagined it was you fingering me. I imagined you fucking me."

Shivering a little at that confession, Adam's hips ground half unconsciously against Alec. "Stroked myself thinking about you sucking me off. Can't stop thinking about how much I want to suck your cock."

Pressing his face against the curve of Alec's neck, Adam rolled his hips again, keeping a slow rhythm because he couldn't bear to stop.

"That sounds creative to me." Creative enough that he was painfully hard when he thought of Adam in the shower, fantasizing about him while he got himself off. Moaning as Adam moved against him, Alec brushing his lips against one of the scars that Adam had thought would push him away. His own scars were either over sensitive or had little feeling so he lingered there for a moment before finding another place to kiss.

His hands along Adam's back, sliding downward until they rested on his ass, encouraging his boyfriend to keep moving. Rocking his hips to match the rhythm Adam had started, he began to speak, about to ask if they could take off their jeans when Adam mentioned his other fantasies. Groaning softly, he stilled for a moment, resting his cheek against Adam's shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, he reminded himself that he needed to have some self-control or all they would end up trying was kissing. "I want you to." He almost added 'if you're sure' but he stopped himself before he blurted the words. "And I want to suck you off like you imagined."

Adam trembled almost imperceptibly at the kiss to his scar, but Alec was so gentle and affectionate that he relaxed again quickly, grateful that Alec still wanted him despite all of Adam's damage.

When Alec went still, Adam also went still, frightened that he'd done something wrong or had gone too far. But then Alec spoke again and Adam was reassured by the heat and desire in his words.

Cheeks red, Adam kissed Alec's temple, hugging tight to him for a moment as he dealt with the strength of his affection and gratitude in that moment. "Now?" he asked, as soon as he could manage words again. "Can I?"

Alec knew that he might have gone too far. Adam might fantasize about going down on him, but that didn't mean that he meant he wanted to try it today. Especially when they'd been through so many emotions in the past few hours.

Confused by the kiss followed by the hug, Alec held him just as tight, waiting for Adam to decide what he wanted. Part of him was nervous that he'd crossed a line or accidentally pushed Adam into something he didn't want to try, but he knew that Adam would tell him if that had happened. Rubbing the back of Adam's neck, he began to blush when his boyfriend asked those questions. "Yes. We can."

Adam made a tiny, soft groaning noise in his throat, easy to miss if his mouth hadn't still been by Alec's ear. Aching and impatient, he stole a quick kiss from Alec's lips and then wiggled out of his arms, moving back a little so that he could unfasten Alec's jeans.

He felt like he was vibrating with nerves, and none of this seemed quite real, but Adam didn't want to hesitate for fear that it might all disappear.

Curling his fingers around Alec's waistband, jeans and underwear together, Adam looked up at Alec for confirmation before drawing them down.

The kiss kept Alec from thinking, or over thinking the situation. He hadn't suggested anything that they both didn't want to try. The kiss proved that. Alec kept telling himself that in an attempt to quiet his nervousness, trying to stay still as his boyfriend unbuttoned his jeans.

Not sure that he could find his voice or what it'd sound like if he did manage to speak, Alec nodded. Brushing his fingers over his boyfriend's knuckles to show him that he wasn't going to say no, he lifted his hips up to help Adam strip off the rest of his clothes. Flushing brightly, he ignored the instinct to cover himself as Adam pulled down his jeans and boxers. He wasn't shy about his body. He'd been injured too many times for that to be an issue, but having someone see him when he was hard was something he'd avoided for years.

Adam couldn't help but pause and stare as Alec's cock sprang free of his boxers. He'd been around other guys naked in locker rooms, but Adam knew better than anyone to keep his eyes neutral and averted at times like that. He'd never had the freedom to look, and he'd certainly never been around other guys when they were hard like this.

Leaning down, Adam quickly kissed the side of Alec's cock, flashing a playful grin up at him in order to help ease Alec's nerves at being exposed like this. Then he resumed pulling Alec's jeans down, stripping him out of his clothes and settling between Alec's legs.

"I'm still not intimidated by the size of you," Adam flirted, cheeks pink and eyes dark with desire. He ran his hands up Alec's calves and thighs, unsure how or where to start. He wanted to touch, wanted to taste, wasn't sure the right way to do this. He hadn't done research on this aside from watching a handful of porn videos.

Trusting what he wanted and trying not to overthink it, Adam put his mouth around the head of Alec's cock, running his tongue over the head to taste his precome.

When Adam stopped pulling down his pants, Alec had to fight the need to cover up. His blush brightened and he forced his hands down onto the bed. There was no reason to be embarrassed when Adam knew he was hard and there was no reason to hide. But it still felt strange to have someone else with him while he was so hard that he was aching.

He made an embarrassing sound - part surprise, part arousal - when Adam kissed his cock. If it felt strange to be in bed with someone else, having that someone touch him was completely new. By the Angel he was probably going to spontaneously combust from blushing before they'd gotten his pants off.

Despite the want and nervousness that were overwhelming his thoughts, he had to smile at Adam's comment. If Adam could tease him when he was naked, then there wasn't a reason to worry about if his boyfriend would be disappointed. "The rumors that I'm scary aren't true." At least they weren't for Adam.

Shivering as Adam's fingers moved along his legs, he was about to ask Adam if he was going to strip, when his boyfriend moved closer. Breath catching as Adam took him into his mouth, he let out a low moan as Adam tasted him. Closing his eyes, his hands tightening in the blankets, he tried to stay still. His hips twitched slightly, but he managed not to move too much. He hoped.

Adam's heart thudded that he was going to do something wrong, which seemed all the more possible since he didn't know anything more than to be careful with his teeth. He lowered his head, taking Alec in deeper, but it was an embarrassingly short distance before Alec's cock nudged the back of his throat and Adam mentally realized the obvious disparity between the depth of a mouth and the length of a cock.

Cheeks flaming, Adam lifted up again, kissing the side of Alec's cock and breathing for a moment, trying to figure out what to do next. He wanted to touch, he wanted to suck, he felt dizzy with desire and indecision.

"I like how you taste," he murmured, looking up at Alec as he ran his tongue over the head of Alec's cock again, wrapping his hand around it and stroking once to get used to the feel of it.

Alec was sure that if he watched Adam as he took him deeper into his mouth, he'd come after only a few seconds. Closing his eyes might not be the best idea either since it made everything more real. He'd imagined it enough that he'd assumed he knew what it'd be like, but having Adam wanting to go down on him was almost as hot as the feeling of warm, wet heat that...

Ended sooner than he expected. Blinking at Adam, he tried to focus on his boyfriend, biting his lip so he didn't say something embarrassing when Adam kissed him. Slowly, he noticed the blush. Was something wrong? "You - " Don't have to do this if you don't want to. "You do?" He was surprised that the question didn't come out as a whine as Adam began stroking him. His hips lifting up before he realized what he was doing. "I like - all this. With you."

Adam grinned up at him, warm and besotted at Alec's words and that little whine. He wanted to figure this out and do well at it, for Alec.

Trying again, Adam took Alec into his mouth, closing his eyes as he focused on his task. He kept one hand curled around Alec's shaft, giving him some warmth and tightness where Adam's mouth didn't reach, and he sucked at the head, bobbing his head a couple of times and stroking Alec to match.

But Adam wasn't satisfied with just that. He knew deepthroating was possible, and Adam couldn't approach any skill without needing to master it. As far as he knew, it was just a matter of relaxing his jaw and throat. And, possibly, finding the right angle. Each time he bobbed his head down, he pressed forward, focusing on relaxing his jaw and throat, trying to persuade his body to accept the intrusion, but all he could feel was the pressure of it, Alec's cock pressing against the limit of Adam's mouth.

It was a surprise when, on the fourth try, it worked. Adam's pulse spiked as Alec slid that extra inch inside. Focused on his goal, Adam pressed forward, taking Alec to the hilt and just holding there a moment, staying relaxed. He couldn't breathe, and he hadn't realized that he should be timing his breaths for this, but he could afford a few more seconds without a problem.

His heart seemed to stop when Adam smiled. If imagining someone going down on him had been something he'd rarely allowed himself to consider, having someone look at him like that had been almost forbidden even in the privacy of his own fantasies. By the Angel, he looked stunning. Alec had never thought someone would be so happy to be with him. Or be with someone who would make him feel so much at once.

He'd find a way to make sure Adam felt the same way. Once he was coherent enough to actually focus on something that wasn't related to his boyfriend doing amazing things with his mouth and hand.

What kind of research had Adam been doing? Whatever he'd looked up had Alec fighting not to thrust into his mouth, heat and pleasure making his self-control slip away. He thought he was babbling something that might be encouragement or it might have been random sounds. Adam might laugh at him later, but he didn't care. He couldn't stay quiet.

He barely remembered that the room wasn't completely soundproof, managing not to shout when Adam somehow took him deeper inside. He shivered beneath Adam, eyes wide, staring at his boyfriend. Heart pounding, Alec wanted to touch him, ground himself before he got too overwhelmed, but if he moved, he was sure that he'd come before he managed to lift one of his hands toward Adam.

Adam lifted up again, triumphant but panting for breath, and he stroked Alec warmly, using both his hands to keep his cock sheathed with warmth and stimulation. He loved the sounds Alec made, loved the power of making someone else feel that good, of knowing how much Alec wanted him and that it mattered that it was him and not just anyone going down on Alec.

"I want you to come in my mouth," he said, just in case Alec had any hesitations about whether Adam would be okay with that. Then he went back down, bobbing his head once and taking a careful breath before coaxing Alec's cock into his throat again, lifting up and trying to set up some sort of rhythm.

As Adam caught his breath, Alec risked moving his hand, sliding his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. “Adam - “ He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, the words tangled up in a haze of desire and adoration that he couldn’t express. Rocking his hips to match the rhythm of Adam’s hands, he tried to find some way to show Adam those feelings. Remembering how much Adam had liked even simpler touches, he brushed his fingers along Adam’s check and along his jaw. He hoped that Adam understood or would he’d wait for him to find the right words once he could think again.

Biting back a whimper, he managed not to be as loud as before when Adam found the right angle and started moving. Somehow he kept from bucking up into Adam’s mouth. All the words he’d struggled for seemed to be found, spilling out in a rush as he told Adam how amazing it felt, how much he wanted him, how close he was…

He tried to fight the heat that was building, the need that was so different than anything Alec had experienced before. No matter how much he wanted to hold back, to have a few moments more, it was too much. Alec shuddered, hand flexing on Adam’s shoulder before he managed to speak. “’M going to come.”

Adam pulled back at the warning, keeping his mouth open and tongue out as he stroked Alec, quick and warm. Though he'd kept his eyes closed to focus for most of the blowjob, they were open now, inviting Alec to come for him. He wanted Alec to see him, wanted to give him the visual of those white spatters against his tongue. Alec was so beautiful like this, wrecked with pleasure and babbling praise, and Adam desperately wanted more of this, to earn more of that sweet praise from him.

His own cock ached, still painfully trapped in his jeans, but Adam didn't care. He was too caught up in this moment, too in awe of being able to reduce Alec into mush with pleasure, and he wanted badly to be able to taste him.

Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

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