marlowemuses | My Boyfriend (Who Lives in Canada)

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My Boyfriend (Who Lives in Canada)

Satoru loved his friends. He loved college, the freedom and connection of it, the knowledge and collaboration. He loved sitting around a lunch table with his friends, chattering on about nonsense and teasing each other.

And he was a little bit in love with his roommate, Suguru, who was seated beside him at the table. The six of them were crammed in to a booth that was only designed for four, so Satoru was basically mashed up against Suguru's side, their thighs sealed together and their shoulders brushing every time one of them moved. It felt electric, and Satoru was trying to ignore the little zings of desire that shot through him every time Suguru moved, or how his arm stretched out along the back of the booth, so close to being draped over Satoru's shoulders.

At the moment, Satoru was regaling them all with the story of some girl who had asked him out, and he hadn't realized that she was asking him out until the fourth(?) attempt when she'd finally gotten exasperated and just demanded are you gay or something?

"What'd you say?" Shoko asked, idly curious but not super invested, spinning her spoon against the bottom of her empty bowl.

"Oh. Just, like, no, I'm just not interested."

"Yeah, same as you've said every time someone has asked you out," Utahime contributed, with a little snort. "More likely you're just ace."

Silence descended around the table, somewhere between shocked and awkward. Satoru stared at her, lips parted, and for a moment he genuinely considered it. Am I asexual?

But then Suguru shifted very slightly, either out of awkwardness or intent to say something, and his arm brushed against the back of Satoru's neck. The bolt of lust that went through him shot straight to his cock. Right. Not asexual.

"I'm not," Satoru insisted, the words spilling indignantly from his mouth before he could think about them. "I have a boyfriend."

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Moaning into the kiss, Satoru melts as he's pressed up against the counter, draping his arms over Suguru's shoulder and letting himself get lost in the affection. He's still in awe of the fact that Suguru loves him, and everything Suguru does feels so good. Satoru wants to just sink into the bliss of his emotions and never surface.

Whimpering and shivering at the light touch of fingers on his back, Satoru makes an affirmative noise but can't manage words. His eyes close, cheek pressing into the gentle hand on his face. The ticklish pleasure of the caress along his back makes his thoughts scatter, turning him soft and pliant, and he hugs tighter, clinging to Suguru.

The way Satoru clings feels delightful, and Suguru leans into it, his arm tightening around Satoru and pressing him closer. He kisses Satoru again, just a light press of his lips to the corner of his mouth. "You're so cute," he whispers, nuzzling his cheek against Satoru's.

But the appeal of continuing this on a flat surface rather than pressed up against a vanity is enough to get Suguru to pull away. He drags his hand down Satoru's back, squeezing his ass briefly before he lets go and turns back to the bedroom. He knows where Satoru keeps his sheets, so it's easy to grab a clean set and strip the bed down.

"How dare you call me cute?" Satoru grumbles, blushing heatedly and hiding his face in the crook of Suguru's neck, arms tightening around him. He likes being called cute, but he doesn't know how to deal with the feelings of vulnerability and intimacy that come with that, so he blusters instead. But he doesn't pull away, and he only shudders and presses closer again at the way Suguru's hands roam down his back again and squeeze his ass.

Trailing after Suguru, Satoru watches him blankly for a few seconds. When his brain kicks back in, he leaves Suguru to deal with stripping the sheets, and goes to grab a couple of towels instead. Then he steps in to help as Suguru starts fitting the clean sheets to the bed, tucking at one end while Suguru does the other.

Still naked, Satoru spreads the towel and then sits on it, hugging his arms loosely around his knees as he watches Suguru. "What are we doing next? What's your favorite sex thing?"

"Because you are," Suguru says, grinning at him. "And gorgeous and sexy and pretty."

But he doesn't keep that up, knowing Satoru gets a little flustered. He enjoys seeing that, but he doesn't want to push too much right away. And there are other ways he can see Satoru flustered.

After Satoru sits down, Suguru joins him on the bed, sitting so he can face his boyfriend. "I'm not sure I have a favorite thing. I like oral sex, and sex in general, maybe equally?" He shrugs. "Different things work better with different people, and I enjoy all of it. Is there anything you want to try?"

Satoru smiles at the compliments, pleased but still flustered, and he's glad that Suguru has mercy relatively quickly.

Thinking about what Suguru asks, Satoru turns it over for a minute in his head, then shrugs. "I don't know. I mean, I know touch feels good, and when you went down on me it felt amazing, but ..." He looks away, chewing on his lip for a moment. "I've never liked porn. It makes me uncomfortable. So the things that they do in porn seem ... bad."

"Too fake and weird and too much?" That's been his experience with porn. "There are some things, mostly manga and books, that are better for that, if you ever want recommendations. It helps to read or see things, sometimes, to understand what's out there and what you might want to try."

It's a little awkward to have this conversation like this, especially with the distance between them, so Suguru shifts to his knees and crawls up the bed, nudging Satoru's legs open so he can settle between them.

"So we know you like it when I touch you, and a blowjob feels amazing. Have you ever fingered yourself?"

Satoru nods, relaxing when Suguru immediately understand what his issues are with porn. "The girls seem so fake, nothing at all like real girls, whether it's straight porn or lesbian porn, and and in the gay porn, the ..." Wrinkling his nose, Satoru shifts uncomfortably. "The bottoms seem like they're suffering."

Gaze returning to Suguru as he moves closer, Satoru blinks at him, eyes wide and earnest. He blushes when Suguru guides his arms to uncross and his legs to spread, but he allows it anyway because he trusts Suguru, and hooks his legs loosely around Suguru's waist.

"Um." Satoru's gaze drops away. "I tried. It just felt uncomfortable." His face crumples, guilt and discomfort making him want to squirm. It seems like anal is what everyone focuses on, when it's about gay sex, and Satoru doesn't get it. "Does anyone really like that? Aren't the bottoms just ... waiting for it to be over?"

That wasn't exactly where Suguru expected the conversation to go, and he studies Satoru for a moment, thinking. "I've enjoyed it when I bottomed, and everyone I've been with has enjoyed it, though that might be because I try to focus on making sure they enjoy it. There's stretching you have to do to make it not hurt, and you shouldn't immediately jump into taking something large right away."

Maybe he's been lucky; Suguru is larger than average, and none of the guys he's fucked have had an issue taking him even on a first hookup, although that just might be the nature of the men he's hooked up with.

Suguru slides his arms around Satoru, hauling him into his lap. "If you aren't sure how to move, fingering yourself can be awkward. I can try, if you want, and see if that feels any different. Or I can show you how I finger myself, if you want to try fucking me." That's not what he would have expected from Satoru, but he doesn't mind bottoming, so it wouldn't be a problem for him.

Satoru's startled to be pulled into Suguru's lap, shoulders rising, and yet his attention snaps right back onto Suguru's face and his arms drape around Suguru's shoulders. Focused again, no longer squirming and looking away.

He processes through what Suguru's said and suggested, legs winding a little tighter around Suguru's waist. He likes this. It feels good to be held like this, to have Suguru between his thighs.

Hearing Suguru say that he liked bottoming is a surprise, but it's just a matter of shifting his mental paradigm. He'd believe anything Suguru told him. So he takes a moment to let it sink in until he believes it.

Then he allows himself to reconsider the suggestions, imagining Suguru's fingers inside of him or himself fucking Suguru. It's easier to believe that Suguru could make him feel good, and he immediately dreads the thought that he could hurt Suguru the other way around if he messes it up.

He knows that he could say no and Suguru would let it be. But he wants to learn, he wants to be good at sex.

"Okay."

The word comes out soft and shy, and he ducks his head to press a kiss to Suguru's cheek, which also lets him hide his face for a moment. He sinks his chin onto Suguru's shoulder, hugging close. "I'm afraid of hurting you, but if it's something you like then I'll try to learn how to, um, fuck you. But first ... yeah. Finger me. Show me how it's supposed to work. I trust you."

He's pretty sure he'd try anything once, for Suguru.

"I don't need it, but it feels nice sometimes, especially if someone knows how to work your prostate." Suguru smiles at how shy and cute Satoru gets, and he turns his head so he can kiss Satoru's temple. "We can start with fingering. See if you like it."

He hopes Satoru enjoys it; he'd like to fuck Satoru one day. But if he doesn't, they can adjust. He's always been adaptable in that, especially when it comes to his partners. He likes making them come, no matter what way.

"Let me—" he starts, and shifts so he can press Satoru back to the bed, kneeling over him for a moment. He drops down to give him a brief kiss, then straightens up so he can climb off the bed to grab his lube from his drawer. He returns seconds later, kneeling between Satoru's legs. Rather than immediately jumping into fingering him, he kisses Satoru again, easing into this. They have all evening.

Satoru accepts the first kiss gratefully, relaxing back into the mattress. He pushes himself up on his elbows when Suguru moves away, and watches him attentively, reaching out for him when he returns.

Nervous though he is, he's glad to have Suguru between his thighs again. It feels good, and he winds his long legs around Suguru's waist as they kiss, arms sliding around Suguru's back to hug him close.

Making pleased noises into the kiss, Satoru skims his fingertips over Suguru's back, caressing and exploring as he keeps Suguru in his arms.

Figuring the kissing will help Satoru relax, and also wanting to simply indulge in kissing his boyfriend a little longer, Suguru presses him down into the mattress and kisses him deeply. He shudders occasionally as Satoru touches a particularly sensitive spot, and lets his hands wander over Satoru's sides, finally landing on his hips and rubbing gentle circles there.

Eventually, he breaks the kiss, and noses down Satoru's neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses here and there as he starts to move down his body. "You're so gorgeous," he whispers, lips tracing the edge of his aeorola before he flicks his tongue against his nipple. "You have no idea how much I wanted to do this to you for the entire semester."

Satoru gasps softly at each of those little kisses, shivering and arching up into the touch. He twitches shyly at that praise, at the prospect of being so desired, eyes timid as he watches his boyfriend.

"You can do whatever you want to me now," Satoru promises, then yelps and arches again as Suguru's tongue flickers across his nipple. His cock hardens, immediately regaining interest from the kisses and touches, despite Satoru's lingering nerves. "I'm all yours. Only yours."

"That's my good boy," Suguru says, grinning up at him as he switches to Satoru's other nipple, savoring the taste of those words on his lips, and the taste of Satoru against his tongue. "All mine." He applies his teeth this time, lightly scraping Satoru's nipple, just to see what he'll do.

His hand wanders down to curl around his cock, stroking briefly, but that's not his ultimate goal, and he doesn't spend too long there before his hand dips lower, pressing against his perineum.

Satoru's jaw drops open at those words, and he stares at Suguru. No one's ever spoken to him like that, and he needs a minute to process how he feels about it.

Which process is distracted as Suguru's teeth scrape over his nipple, and he arches, head falling back with a soft cry. He pulls his head forward again, panting as he stares at Suguru.

It feels so patronizing, to be called 'good boy' like that, and yet the approval in it warms him. It seems like the sort of thing someone would call a child, but it's not something his parents ever called him. He was only ever adequate at best, constantly reminded of his failures.

Being claimed by Suguru is much easier for him to accept, something he wants without question. His breath hitches at the touch to his cock, watching Suguru with awe and lust even as that hand dips lower.

Blushing, he bites his lower lip, shy but trusting as Suguru touches him.

For all that he's eager to keep touching Satoru, to go further, Suguru is patient, and willing to go at his pace, especially since Satoru has no experience with this at all. He's learned, over the years, to pay attention to his partners; they can sometimes speak so much more with their bodies than with their words. He doesn't expect "good boy" to strike... something in Satoru, enough to make his jaw drop, but it does something to Suguru's chest in return. He'll have to ask about that later.

For now, since Satoru isn't trying to stop him, and still seems into it, Suguru flicks his tongue over his nipple again and sits up between his legs, nudging them a little wider while he fumbles with the lube, spreading some over a couple of fingers and massaging them together to warm it up.

"Open up for me," Suguru says, his slick fingers slipping between Satoru's cheeks. He presses his thumb against Satoru's hole, tracing around the entrance, and lifts one of his legs to his shoulder. "Just relax for me. Tell me if anything hurts."

"Feels ... embarrassing," Satoru says, when Suguru hoists a leg over his shoulder like that, splaying him open like this, showing his most intimate places. He wants to snap his legs shut and hide his cleft and his hole, but he manages to limit the impulse to just a little squirming. "It's weird, to think of it as, um. Appealing. To be touched there. Or to want to touch someone there."

But it's not an objection, it's just nervous chatter. He's determined to try this, and he isn't going to spook until he's made an effort to at least let Suguru demonstrate how fingering is supposed to be done. "I don't know how I'm supposed to relax while you're touching my butthole, Suguru. Give clearer directions." He tries to give it comedic delivery, but his cheeks are flushed with nerves and embarrassment, and he can't quite hold Suguru's gaze.

The nervous rambling just makes Suguru laugh, low and soft and affection, and he turns his head to press a kiss to the knee on his shoulder, nipping at the same spot a second later.

"Don't clench that butthole," he orders, lips quirking into a brief smile. When he talks again, he tries to inject some formality into his tone. "If you're so determined to have specific directions. Think about how you felt when I put my mouth on your penis and how boneless you felt after that." As he talks, he presses his forefinger against Satoru's hole, slowly pushing the tip inside, then pulling it back and reaching for the bottle of lube again so he can pour some directly on Satoru's hole. He spreads it around, pushing some inside as he presses his finger in him again, deeper this time.

"It's going to feel a little weird and uncomfortable at first," he continues, more serious this time. Satoru feels so tight and warm around his finger, just like this, but he doesn't mention that yet. "Give it a little time, you'll adjust. But if it really hurts, let me know. Don't try to suffer through it."

"You're so embarrassing," Satoru grouses, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend, though the teasing does help to ease a little of his awkward nerves. "I definitely can't relax while you're saying 'penis' like you're a health teacher. Worst dirty talk. I thought you were good at this?"

He bites his lip, this time to try and contain a smile, because talking shit at Suguru also helps to relax him. But then he flusters again as Suguru's finger actually starts pushing inside.

"It doesn't hurt. It's fine. I just don't see the appeal. On either side." Satoru gives him an impatient look, partly to try and cover for his nervousness.

"I was matching your energy. You're the one talking about buttholes," Suguru points out, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend. "So crude, so blunt. No sense of charm. I'll just have to talk about how tight you feel around my finger, how warm and velvety you are in here." His voice drops, a low purr that he hopes appeals. "You should see how your hole clenches around my finger, so eager to suck me in. You might not see the appeal, but I do."

Suguru lifts his gaze from Satoru's hole to study his face again as he pushes his finger deeper inside, carefully curling it and brushing against his walls. It's just a finger, so it's mostly a tease, and he isn't trying to find his prostate yet.

The impatient look makes him smirk, and he tightens his grip on Satoru's leg, squeezing a little. "More, sweetheart?" he asks. "Don't worry. I won't leave you unsatisfied."

Since he does want Satoru to enjoy this for his sake, and not just because Suguru likes it, he pulls his finger back, so he can slowly add in a second, which is much more of a stretch; Suguru's fingers are long and elegant, but they are thick.

Satoru's eyes widen with shock as Suguru starts talking like that, and his hole gives an instinctive clench around Suguru's finger. He stares, lips parted and cheeks flaming, stunned at how Suguru talks about this, about how appealing he makes it sound. Even though Satoru still doesn't see the appeal, he's ready to be convinced of just about anything if Suguru's going to talk about it like that.

He makes a tiny sound in his throat as Suguru pushes in a second finger, because now he can feel the strain in his muscles. It's uncomfortable, but not bad enough for him to want to stop, and Suguru's words are still ringing in his head.

"Is that ..." He can't stop staring at Suguru. "Is that what dirty talk is supposed to be like?" He had no idea. He realizes now that he's never heard good dirty talk, only jokey pervert stuff in anime or the weird and monotonous phrases he'd heard in what little porn he watched.

"Like what?" Suguru asks, briefly confused; that wasn't even necessarily the sexiest thing he's said before, or all that intense in terms of dirty talk. But this is Satoru he's talking to, and Suguru's perception of Satoru has drastically changed over the past few hours. The inexperience with everything isn't that surprising. "It should be something to turn you on. Sometimes it works for people, and sometimes it doesn't."

Suguru has always enjoyed it, from either side, and he likes seeing the flush rising in Satoru's cheeks from the comments.

He drops his attention back to his fingers, carefully working them into Satoru and curling them. Normally, when he's fingered anyone, it's been with the intent to prep them for penetration, but this doesn't have a goal beyond seeing if Satoru enjoys it, and he's in no rush. He's a little slow about it, teasing and letting him adjust before fucking his fingers in deeper. He's not directly aiming for Satoru's prostate, but his fingers brush against it as he curls them, and he adds external stimulation, pressing his thumb against his perineum.

"I dunno," Satoru says, flustered and embarrassed, scowling a little as he turns defensive. "It was fine. It was whatever."

His eyes skid to the side, breath coming a little quicker as Suguru's fingers keep moving inside of him. He's not even sure when it is that something shifts in the experience. It was all just vaguely uncomfortable, uninteresting, but somewhere in the distraction of Suguru's dirty talk and the second finger adding a slight sting, something has changed. He feels a sensation that's almost urgent, a building warmth in his belly, and finds that his hips have started stirring upward into Suguru's touch, chasing something unknown.

It's embarrassing, somehow. The vulnerability of being touched like this, combined with the possibility that Suguru was right.

His breath stutters, nerves rising, and he's flustered by this new experience, not knowing how to feel about it.

"You can tell me anything," Suguru reminds him. "Especially when we're doing things like this."

"This" is such a vague term, but he knows Satoru will get it, considering where his fingers are. And he's not going to push at the moment, with his fingers deep inside Satoru. By this point, he'd be pushing for three fingers, but Satoru is still tight, and with the way his breath stutters, Suguru is sure he shouldn't try three fingers yet.

But he keeps fucking his fingers into Satoru, turning his head to kiss his knee again. Thinking about it, he should have grabbed a pillow to put under Satoru's hips, which would have helped; as it is, he can't really lean over and kiss him.

"You're doing so well, baby," he says, as he angles his fingers, deliberately hitting his prostate as he presses inside Satoru and pulls back. "How does it feel?"

That sensation is rising, all needy urgency and sparkling warmth, like there's some secret tucked inside Satoru's body that's been waiting for Suguru to unlock it. A little of Satoru's defensive bluster slips away, impossible to maintain while his body is starting to writhe and arch up into the touch, hips grinding into Suguru's fingers.

He whines as Suguru targets that spot more directly, sending bright, hot flares of sensation up his spine. It all feels so embarrassing, and he's so needy at the sensation. Part of him is still so deeply flustered that Suguru is touching his ass--is touching inside his ass. It feels awkward and dirty, and he can't cope with his feelings on it, even though he doesn't want Suguru to stop.

Even though Suguru's just asked him a question, Satoru can't figure out how to put any of his feelings into words. He just whines again, pressing a hand over his face even as his hips keep rocking into the touch, shamelessly greedy for this.

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