My Boyfriend (Who Lives in Canada)

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru loved his friends. He loved college, the freedom and connection of it, the knowledge and collaboration. He loved sitting around a lunch table with his friends, chattering on about nonsense and teasing each other.

And he was a little bit in love with his roommate, Suguru, who was seated beside him at the table. The six of them were crammed in to a booth that was only designed for four, so Satoru was basically mashed up against Suguru's side, their thighs sealed together and their shoulders brushing every time one of them moved. It felt electric, and Satoru was trying to ignore the little zings of desire that shot through him every time Suguru moved, or how his arm stretched out along the back of the booth, so close to being draped over Satoru's shoulders.

At the moment, Satoru was regaling them all with the story of some girl who had asked him out, and he hadn't realized that she was asking him out until the fourth(?) attempt when she'd finally gotten exasperated and just demanded are you gay or something?

"What'd you say?" Shoko asked, idly curious but not super invested, spinning her spoon against the bottom of her empty bowl.

"Oh. Just, like, no, I'm just not interested."

"Yeah, same as you've said every time someone has asked you out," Utahime contributed, with a little snort. "More likely you're just ace."

Silence descended around the table, somewhere between shocked and awkward. Satoru stared at her, lips parted, and for a moment he genuinely considered it. Am I asexual?

But then Suguru shifted very slightly, either out of awkwardness or intent to say something, and his arm brushed against the back of Satoru's neck. The bolt of lust that went through him shot straight to his cock. Right. Not asexual.

"I'm not," Satoru insisted, the words spilling indignantly from his mouth before he could think about them. "I have a boyfriend."

Comments

[contemplatively]

The words leave Satoru's mouth, and it's like everything in the room slows down for Suguru. Kind of like a slow-motion shot in a movie: everyone moves weirdly, dialogue makes no sense, even the colors in the restaurant seem to fade. Suguru stares at Satoru, just like everyone else.

He can't entirely believe it; Satoru's never mentioned a boyfriend before. Never talked on the phone with him where Suguru could hear him. Never had him over.

Shoko is the one to break the stunned silence, rolling her eyes at him and scoffing. "Yeah, sure. Kind of hard to believe that when we haven't met him after all these months." She's the other side of Satoru, since Utahime refused to sit next to Satoru; they had learned to keep them apart since the two of them would get into petty slap fights, or kick each other, but for once Suguru wishes he was sitting next to her so he could kick her in the shin.

He finally glances at Satoru, waiting to see if he'll respond to that. He doesn't say anything yet because he's still too stunned to react. A boyfriend? Satoru? He's gay?

[mrblueeyes]

"He's in Kyoto," Satoru retorts. That part of the lie comes to him immediately, easy and obvious, and the next few basic details fall into place just as quickly. "We dated in high school. We've been long distance since then, which is ..." He looks down at the table and shrugs one shoulder. "It's fine. It's whatever."

His heart is thundering in his ears and his temples, because everyone is still staring at him in varying shades of disbelief, and Satoru just chews on his lip instead of meeting any of their eyes. He regrets saying it, because this is going to be a hard lie to maintain, but he also thinks it's kind of brilliant. Now it won't seem weird anymore that he never wants to go out on dates with anyone. He won't seem as weird anymore. And if he wishes that it was real, that he really had a boyfriend (that his boyfriend was Suguru), it doesn't matter.

[contemplatively]

Across the table, Suguru can see Utahime about to say something, probably something snarky and mean, and he cuts her off. "It must be hard to maintain a long-distance relationship, especially if you were together for years during high school," Suguru says, and drapes his arm across Satoru to pat him on the shoulder.

It's better to say something like that than deal with a fight between the two, and Suguru doesn't want Satoru to feel hurt, especially about a long-distance relationship, so he glares at Utahime, who rolls her eyes at him.

"If you ever want to invite him up," Shoko starts, amusement evident in her voice. She leans over to look at Suguru, smirking at him, "We'd love to meet him. He could stay with you and Suguru."

Suguru glares at her in return, and drops his arm from around Satoru's shoulders, although there's nowhere to put his arm but on the back of the booth again.

"Ignore Shoko," Suguru says, sotto voce. He can't say much more than that, because he isn't glad Satoru has a boyfriend, and he oddly wants to kick this guy's ass for not being a better boyfriend to his friend. But he wants to be supportive.

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru kind of wants to die when Suguru's so supportive like that, though he then kind of ascends when Suguru's arm actually curls around his shoulders, warm and strong. It's only unfortunate that the touch doesn't linger. He allows himself the very brief fantasy of tucking himself properly under Suguru's arm, as his boyfriend (Suguru's) grip tightened around him, protective and possessive.

"Not for years," Satoru corrects, definitely not wanting to have to manage a years-long serious imaginary romance. That's way too serious, when he's no doubt going to have to stage an imaginary breakup sooner or later. He can feel how his cheeks are flaming as all his friends stare at him while he lies through his teeth. "Just the last few months of high school."

"Wait," Haibara says, blinking. "I thought you were homeschooled."

Utahime snorts triumphantly, because even though her truth was suppressed, at least no one thought to silence Haibara on the same topic. "He was."

"I was," Satoru confirms, kind of impressed by how steady his voice sounds. "I had some private tutors and some self-paced classes, but for some of the honors credits I took classes at the Kyoto International Academy." This is even true, which is a relief in the moment.

[contemplatively]

Suguru had forgotten that fact for a moment, and almost brightened when Haibara mentioned the homeschooling thing, only to be shot down a moment later. A terrible, devastating realization hits him: he was never in Satoru's league at all. Suguru isn't unaware of his appeal, and he knows he's smart, but he'd never get into something like the Kyoto International Academy without a ton of work and massive scholarships.

"He must be very smart and come from a good family," Suguru says, before anyone else can cut in. Across from him, Nanami stares at him. Suguru can feel the judgment. "Maybe for one of our breaks, we can go down to Kyoto and visit him. That won't be for a while, though. Midterms are coming up. Is everyone ready for studying?"

That elicits a groan from nearly everyone at the table, and Shoko is bolting upright, sliding out of the booth to escape talk about studying.

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru's immensely relieved when Suguru changes the subject like that, taking the focus away from Satoru and his lie. It almost makes him wonder if Suguru suspects it's a lie and is trying to protect him from having it embarrassingly called out. Taking pity on him, probably, for being such a loser.

He stays quiet while Shoko makes her escape, with Utahime making a few last goodbyes (not to him) before trailing after her girlfriend. Nanami actually spends a few minutes talking about studying plans with Suguru while Haibara echoes cheery agreement, then they head out as well, leaving Satoru and Suguru alone in the booth, still sealed against each other's side even though they now have more than enough space. Satoru doesn't want to move. Suguru's warm, and the solid strength of him always makes Satoru feel safe. Even more so, he doesn't want to deal with his own lie, and he's dreading the inevitability of it coming back to haunt it. He swallows heavily, staring down at his empty plate rather than making any suggestion that they should follow their friends and leave.

[contemplatively]

They move on from Satoru's boyfriend, which is a relief because Suguru doesn't think he can talk about the guy, and he doesn't want anyone else to be around in case Suguru slips and does something embarrassing, or reacts poorly when Satoru talks about him. His shame can be between him, the gods, and Satoru.

When they're left alone, Suguru finally looks at Satoru again, realizing he's been quiet this entire time, which is concerning. He frowns, looking at his friend, and nudges him with his arm.

"I'm sure you miss him," Suguru starts. "It can be hard to be separated from someone you care about." Suguru wouldn't know how it feels to be separated from a boyfriend, although he knows it's hard to be away from his family.

For all that he's had many flirtations, most of his relationships have been casual, lasting no longer than a few months, and he wouldn't claim to be in love with anyone. It's always been for fun.

"What's he like?" Suguru asks, then shakes his head. "Sorry, don't mind me. You don't have to talk about him, if you don't want to. And that's such a broad question, how can you even start with that? What's his major?"

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru felt himself calm down once he was alone with Suguru, with no other attention or expectation from anyone else. Suguru's company was always soothing to him, safe and fun, his favorite person in the world. Even though they'd only known each other for a few months, he felt like he'd known Suguru for years. His nerves settled and the conversation started to drift away, unimportant.

Only for Suguru to start talking about it again.

Heat crawled up Satoru's neck to set his cheeks blazing again.

"He's," Satoru said, voice cracking so that it came out as a croak. What's he like? Fictional. At least Suguru helps by narrowing the question a little and giving him somewhere to start. Satoru's brain goes blank, forgetting every major he's ever encountered. "Literature," he says, spitting out the first thing that comes to mind. Only after it's out of his mouth does it occur to him that that's Suguru's major.

[contemplatively]

"Oh. That's nice." A literature major. Not a fellow astrophysics major, or even another science type. No, a literature major. Probably some pretentious idiot who thinks literature is romantic and meaningful and waxes poetic over the cherry blossoms in Satoru's hair when they sit beneath the cherry trees—

Or maybe he's just one of those losers who think literature is easy and doesn't see the poetry in the brush of Satoru's eyelashes against his cheek and would never think to take him out for a picnic, or think about a trip somewhere remote so they can go stargazing—

Suguru needs to stop thinking about this. Which is why the next words out of his mouth are: "I hope he writes you deeply romantic letters proclaiming how much he misses you."

No he doesn't. Although he does— Satoru deserves a good boyfriend, someone who knows how to treat him well.

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru's eyes widen at this suggestion, head turning to Suguru in complete bewilderment. He can't imagine any boyfriend doing that for him. "I ... does that actually happen outside of movies?"

He wonders if Suguru does things like that, but it doesn't seem likely. Incredible though Suguru is, he's never seemed like that much of a romantic. His encounters with others have always been ... brief. Even when he's seen someone more than once, it's never seemed like anything Satoru would call romance.

"No, we just ... we mostly just chat online. A few times a week, to keep in touch." This, Satoru knows, is a good excuse. He spends lots of time on his laptop, and it will be difficult for any of them to disprove.

[contemplatively]

"Yes." Suguru sounds offended, and he makes a face at Satoru. "I might not date for long, and none of my relationships are all that serious, so I'm not proclaiming my love for them in letters, but a few notes and gifts make a difference. Even for the guys, though most of them are reluctant to admit that, or try to make jokes about it." It's not like Suguru is buying flowers for the guys he dates, but he'll get them gifts and write notes. "You can't just date someone and not try. People want to see signs of your affection. Even with casual relationships, you shouldn't treat someone as if they're disposable or don't matter. Even if I have a strictly friends-with-benefits situation going on with someone, I'll still buy them dinner and compliment them and see them to their door or something. I should be doing that with my friends. I'm sorry I haven't left you any notes, although I guess since we live together, I didn't think too much about it."

And Satoru deserves a much better relationship than that. Although any hope of convincing Satoru of that disappears when he mentions chatting online. Satoru spends an incredible amount of time on his computer, which makes sense if he's talking to his boyfriend.

"Well, if you ever need time to do something like video chat without me around, you can let me know. I'll stay out of your hair." Or maybe try to get a glimpse of this guy so he can size him up. (He hopes Satoru never asks.)

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru starts to feel like he isn't a very good boyfriend to this imaginary guy, because he hadn't realized that these sorts of things were required. He feels even less suitable to be dating anyone.

"No, it's okay," Satoru says dismissively, wanting to quickly get rid of the idea of video chatting.

"But why would you write me notes?" That doesn't make any sense at all.

Satoru's so glad that Suguru hasn't moved. He likes being right here with him, tucked close. It is hard to talk to him when they're so close, not face to face, but he doesn't want to pull away, either. So he just turns, pretending like it's all totally normal, and hooks his legs over Suguru's lap, shameless about being in his space. If Suguru wanted out of his space, he would have moved, right? This is more comfortable, easier to talk facing each other, and saves either of them from having to move away. It's kind of cold in the restaurant, anyway, especially without Shoko on one side, so having his legs over Suguru's lap is just practical. "You can just tell me stuff. We see each other."

Should Satoru be writing notes??

[contemplatively]

Suguru turns slightly toward Satoru, hand dropping to Satoru's leg where it's hooked over his, and squeezing.

"Everyone likes little keepsakes, right? Or needs some bright encouragement to get through the day. Messages are fine, and we can say those things to each other, but sometimes a text message feels ephemeral, doesn't it? And it's easy to forget what someone has said. But a note tucked into your pocket will surprise you, and it's easy just to unfold it and read it over and over. Haven't you had fortune cookies? It's like the little fortunes inside, even when they're dumb, they can be fun to read. I keep all of mine. I have a journal page where I've pasted my favorites, and the rest go into a little pocket in the back of the journal.

"I passed notes back and forth with my friends in high school, which are different, but it's still something meaningful. And if I made a bento for someone I was seeing, I'd put notes in there. Little things, but it adds a personalized touch. I've lost the knack for that, since I'm not making bentos."

He glances at Satoru again.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you and your boyfriend have a way to show you care about each other."

Jealousy Kink - Three Weeks Later

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru had never been so happy. He felt bright and vibrant with his joy, utterly infatuated with his boyfriend Suguru, who spoiled him. Their friends had teased them--mostly Satoru, for his embarrassing lie--and continued to complain about how shamelessly the two of them hung on each other in all circumstances, but no one had been surprised. Utahime and Shoko especially had teased them for 'finally' figuring it out.

They're both horny, fucking almost every single night, though it's usually just a quick handjob or blowjob exchange after they're done studying or if they have an early class. On weekends, they get to take more time with each other, minimizing their other social engagements to spend whole days in bed.

It's hard to focus on anything other than how much he wants Suguru, whether they're together or apart, but after three weeks they've at least fallen into enough of a rhythm that Satoru starts to catch up on the schoolwork he had let slip.

He's waiting outside one of the buildings for Suguru's class to finish, enjoying the weather of a sunny day, when a guy from another of his classes calls out his name and comes over to chat. The guy's all smiles, even though Satoru's racking his brain to try and remember his name. All of a sudden, Satoru realizes with a little thrill that this guy's flirting with him.

He feels powerful with the knowledge, and safe in the certainty that it's not going to go anywhere, because he belongs to Suguru. Even if this guy gets the wrong idea, he'll get very quickly corrected. So Satoru grins as he chats, tipping his head to the side with an expression of invitation and challenge, basking in the attention.

He's just brushing off an invitation to some party at this guy's fraternity, hemming and hawing over being 'pretty sure' that he has plans that night (he does: being under Suguru), and he's not expecting it when the guy reaches toward him, hand uplifted like he's going to touch Satoru's face. The words he's saying don't even register--something about his hair in the way of his 'pretty blue eyes'--as Satoru rears backward, adrenaline spiking with a deep aversion to being touched by strangers, stumbling slightly as he dodges and then tensing in further panic as he feels his spine collide with a solid body.

[contemplatively]

Falling into a steady routine with Satoru was easy, even though Suguru is still in the stage of wanting nothing more than to spend time with Satoru, in any way they can. They make up for the class time and study sessions, taking their time with each other, and their friends make sure to drag them out occasionally, so at least there's still a social circle— small, but there.

The rest of the world had kind of fallen into oblivion for Suguru, so seeing someone talking to Satoru was enough to make him falter for a moment when he stepped out of the building. Clearly, Satoru had been waiting for him, which was common enough, and someone approached, thinking they had a shot.

Suguru knows that Satoru's hot, and draws attention everywhere he goes, but he'd never really paid attention to that. It's different now, and maybe he'd find that new-found confidence and knowledge on Satoru sexy, but something dark twists in Suguru's chest. He doesn't like the idea of someone else trying to take Satoru away from him, and the possessiveness rises as the guy reaches out to touch him.

Suguru settles a hand on Satoru's hip as he steps back and collides with him, offering a comforting squeeze. But he doesn't look at Satoru, simply stares over his shoulder, expression dark as he looks at the guy.

"Why were you trying to touch my boyfriend?" he asks, his tone almost too polite but firm; it screams 'don't try me' and Suguru knows that. "You shouldn't try to touch people, it's incredibly rude."

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru's body recognizes Suguru before his mind catches up. He breathes in the scent of Suguru--his skin, his sweat, his deodorant and conditioner--and his body relaxes. His mind registers it a second later, and he lets his weight lean back against Suguru, tucking into his arm. His hand curls around Suguru's wrist, encouraging it to stay on his hip, pressing it tighter toward his body to help tighten the embrace.

The guy blusters, surprised by this new development, but because he's a bulky frat boy he's not willing to be driven off by a polite scolding alone, and the reprimand embarrasses him. "Excuse you, we were having a conversation. It's incredibly rude to interrupt. Maybe your boyfriend was looking for something better."

Satoru makes an indignant snort, though he simultaneously presses himself harder back into the crook of Suguru's arm, wanting out of this interaction. Even though he got himself into this to some degree, by not blowing the guy off immediately, he wants Suguru to get him out of it. Suguru's always been better at handling social situations that have Satoru out of his depth. "No one's better than Suguru."

[contemplatively]

With the encouragement to grip tighter, Suguru's embrace tightens, fingers digging into Satoru's hip as he holds him closer. He still doesn't look at Satoru, studying the guy who had been flirting with his boyfriend. He looks the guy over; tall, bulky, some stupid frat boy sort who doesn't understand the danger in Suguru's voice or his words. Suguru isn't worried about taking the guy on, confident in his martial arts abilities.

"It's not rude when he was pulling back," Suguru points out, offering the guy a fake smile. "He's not interested you, or anyone else for that matter." Even if Satoru hadn't chimed in with his comment, he would have said it. He knows Satoru isn't interested. "Keep your hands to yourself the next time you try to flirt, especially with someone's boyfriend." And don't flirt with Satoru, he doesn't say, but he turns his head finally, kissing Satoru's cheek, and looks back at the guy, all traces of his normal polite veneer wiped off his face.

"We've got better things to do than deal with this loser," Suguru says, and squeezes Satoru's hip. "Ready, Satoru?"

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru's breath hitches a little when Suguru's grip tightens to a point that's almost painful, and he feels his cock starting to harden when Suguru's words grow more barbed. "Yeah, baby," he murmurs, flustered, shifting to loop his arm over Suguru's shoulders.

"He was flirting with me," the frat boy snaps, fuming, but he can tell he's lost this match, with Satoru practically melting into his boyfriend's embrace. Turning, the poor idiot storms off.

Satoru's arm tightens over Suguru's shoulders, wanting him close, even though he's not entirely decided whether he wants to seek comfort or if he should be worried about being in trouble.

[contemplatively]

"Don't mistake someone being polite for interest," Suguru says to his back, amused now. "That's what those incel losers do." But the guy isn't worth his interest, especially now that he's stormed off.

Suguru's grip loosens a little, but he keeps his arm around Satoru and glances at him again. He looks a little annoyed, but it's not a big idea "I was too far away to hear anything, but it did look like you were flirting a little, until he reached out to touch you." He lifts an eyebrow. "What did he say to get you talking?"

Suguru isn't used to Satoru talking to many people, beyond their friends, let alone chatting with people who were flirting. Maybe he didn't realize that the guy had been flirting? Maybe Suguru should point out those things a little more so Satoru would understand, and keep ignoring the idiots trying to flirt with him.

But more importantly— "Do I need to remind you that you're mine?"

It feels possessive to say that, but he's still annoyed about seeing a guy flirt with his boyfriend.

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru's grip only tightens. He turns toward Suguru, leaning his weight into Suguru's chest, face tucking in against the side of Suguru's head. "Thanks for coming to my rescue."

If there had been a physical threat, Satoru could have dealt with it no problem. It was the social aspect of it that rattled him.

"I was," he confesses against Suguru's hair. His arm clenches around Suguru's shoulders, still worried he's going to be scolded. "I was enjoying the attention. The power of knowing he wanted me and couldn't ever have me. I wanted to watch his hopes crumble when you came up and kissed me."

Nuzzling into Suguru's hair, Satoru nips at the curve of his ear, breath warm and teasing against the skin. He tips his hips forward, letting Suguru feel that he's half-hard. "It was hot when you got bitchy at him. I liked that. And I don't think I need to be reminded I'm yours. I wouldn't forget. I think I need to be reassured I'm yours. No one else can touch me. Please. I wanna go home."

'Home' may just be a dorm room, but it's theirs, so Satoru still calls it 'home'. He wants to be alone with Suguru immediately.

[contemplatively]

"It made me wild to see him flirting with you, and then trying to touch you." Suguru did not like that at all. He doesn't mind if Satoru hugs their friends, although that's pretty rare, and he didn't expect to react to seeing someone flirt with Satoru simply because of that. But a wild fit of possessiveness hit, and he can still feel the desire to claim Satoru raging through his veins.

When Satoru presses against him, nuzzling against him, Suguru's arm tightens around him, and he takes a deep breath, smelling the scent of Satoru's shampoo and conditioner and his unique scent, now mixed with Suguru's. He flexes his fingers on Satoru's hip, and gives him a quick kiss, nipping at his lower lip.

"C'mon," he says, guiding Satoru away from the building and toward their dorm room. He doesn't let go of him, keeping him close as they walk.

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru makes a pleased and reassured sound at each nuzzle and kiss, and he's glad to walk quickly as they head back to their dorm together. He fumbles out his keys, getting the lock open swiftly, practically falling through the door as it opens.

Dropping his keys instead of trying to shove them back in his pocket, because that would take too much time an effort, he turns fully toward Suguru, both arms around his boyfriend's shoulders as he pulls him close. He trusts that Suguru will manage to get the door closed behind them, and so Satoru lets himself forget everything else, caring only about getting to be as close to Suguru as possible. He feels a need for him that's utterly desperate, and a strange, fluttering fear--skittish that Suguru will be angry with him, skittish about the thought (however implausible) of anyone else touching him. "Suguru."

[contemplatively]

Suguru does manage to get the door closed before Satoru pulls him into his arms. His arms slide around his boyfriend, tugging him closer, and then he spins them so he can press Satoru up against the door.

"No one else is ever going to touch you, Satoru," he whispers, pressing his lips against Satoru's in a shallow kiss. "You're all mine. They might want you but they'll never have you."

Talking about it does a little to soothe the feelings in his gut, although the burning desire to possess him thoroughly still lingers. Suguru deepens the kiss, pressing him more firmly against the door, and sliding a hand over his hip and thigh, encouraging Satoru to wrap a leg around him.

[mrblueeyes]

Satoru groans gratefully into the kiss as he's pressed up against the door, safely trapped by Suguru's warm, strong body. "Please," he begs, shuddering with the force of his emotions. "I need to be yours. Please. My Suguru. I need you."

He gladly hooks his leg around Suguru's hip, arms tight to keep his boyfriend close, and moans as Suguru kisses him more deeply. His body spasms, arousal so intense that it hurts, burning in his veins. That shaky fear is settling into a craving. He needs to know that he belongs to Suguru, needs to know that Suguru wants him and won't let him go. Grinding his hips against Suguru's, Satoru doesn't have the slightest bit of shame in the fact that he's already achingly hard. Need makes him tremble, fingertips tingling, and his breath comes in quick little gasps.

[contemplatively]

"You're all mine," Suguru reassures him, groaning against his lips. He rocks against Satoru in a clumsy pantomime of sex, too desperate to really rut against him properly. "Always."

He pulls back a little, enough to pull Satoru away from the door, hands sliding around him and down to his ass to scoop him up. It's easy to carry Satoru to the bed— they've long since pushed their beds together, to make it easier to fuck and sleep— and he drops Satoru on the bed, quickly following him down, pressing him into the mattress.

"People think they can flirt with you but it doesn't mean anything. They'll never have you."