marlowemuses | My Boyfriend (Who Lives in Canada)

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My Boyfriend (Who Lives in Canada)

Satoru loved his friends. He loved college, the freedom and connection of it, the knowledge and collaboration. He loved sitting around a lunch table with his friends, chattering on about nonsense and teasing each other.

And he was a little bit in love with his roommate, Suguru, who was seated beside him at the table. The six of them were crammed in to a booth that was only designed for four, so Satoru was basically mashed up against Suguru's side, their thighs sealed together and their shoulders brushing every time one of them moved. It felt electric, and Satoru was trying to ignore the little zings of desire that shot through him every time Suguru moved, or how his arm stretched out along the back of the booth, so close to being draped over Satoru's shoulders.

At the moment, Satoru was regaling them all with the story of some girl who had asked him out, and he hadn't realized that she was asking him out until the fourth(?) attempt when she'd finally gotten exasperated and just demanded are you gay or something?

"What'd you say?" Shoko asked, idly curious but not super invested, spinning her spoon against the bottom of her empty bowl.

"Oh. Just, like, no, I'm just not interested."

"Yeah, same as you've said every time someone has asked you out," Utahime contributed, with a little snort. "More likely you're just ace."

Silence descended around the table, somewhere between shocked and awkward. Satoru stared at her, lips parted, and for a moment he genuinely considered it. Am I asexual?

But then Suguru shifted very slightly, either out of awkwardness or intent to say something, and his arm brushed against the back of Satoru's neck. The bolt of lust that went through him shot straight to his cock. Right. Not asexual.

"I'm not," Satoru insisted, the words spilling indignantly from his mouth before he could think about them. "I have a boyfriend."

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Suguru hums, arm tightening around Satoru for a moment, thinking about that question. It's really hypocritical of him to talk about that, considering that he has retreated and just been a friend to Satoru, rather than trying to flirt and get him interested.

And he's not helping himself here, trying to help Satoru hookup with someone else. But if he wants to date, and Suguru isn't his type, then there's nothing he can do about it.

"Well, I guess it would depend on who they were and what they wanted," he says, eventually. "Kind of a fine line. If someone has said they aren't interested, it might be worth backing off and not pushing them, you know? Don't come across creepy. But if there's some lingering tension there, or maybe some miscommunication, then getting to know them a little deeper, flirting, spending time with them.... It can lead to people reconsidering that initial rejection."

His eyes narrow. "Wait, we weren't talking about people not interested in you like that. Did you have someone in mind who rejected you at first?"

Satoru's heart gives a warm, happy leap when Suguru squeezes him like that. There's absolutely no way he can let Suguru 'wingman' for him. Satoru can't consider anyone else while he feels like this. He's so in love.

This is good advice, and Satoru takes it in curiously. He has gotten to know Suguru deeper, and they spend lots of time together. They do flirt, in their own way. Suguru certainly never said he wasn't interested. It's never come up, aside from pretty general comments and observations, like Suguru's belief during this conversation that Satoru is attractive and interesting.

"Not rejected me," Satoru says, tucking his head back down with his cheek against Suguru's shoulder. "I think he just doesn't see me like that, and I don't want to make things weird. And I think he's way out of my league anyway. And he doesn't do relationships, so we want different things. So if I pursued him, it's unlikely that it would result in anything other than maybe making our friendship uncomfortable. But it's hard for me to be interested in anyone else. No one else compares."

"Oh, if it's that you want to make sure he knows you're interested, you can just tell him," he points out. "If it's someone decent, and they aren't interested, which would be bizarre, they won't make it awkward." At least, Suguru likes to think they wouldn't, but he's always been good about friendships and relationships, handling rejection gently. "Or if you really don't want to risk anything, start flirting. Show off your muscles, make him aware that you're not straight or asexual." He holds up a hand. "And before you say anything about not wanting him to just like you because of your looks, it is a factor, and if you're concerned about hurting your friendship, he probably already likes you."

Whoever this mystery person is, Suguru is deeply curious now, because he thought he knew all of Satoru's friends.

"What do you mean, he doesn't do relationships?"

This is turning really interesting, as Satoru takes in all of this advice and turns it over curiously in his head. His gaze is drawn back up to Suguru, a little more open and trusting. "Of course he wouldn't just like me because of my looks. If we're already friends. He likes hanging out with me. I know that."

You can just tell him, Suguru advised, and Satoru thinks that maybe he will.

He went into this tangent of the conversation feeling dread about confessing, but now he's starting to enjoy the conversation, scattering a few more bread crumbs and waiting for Suguru to connect the dots.

"What do you mean, what do I mean? He doesn't really date. Not seriously, anyway. Just hookups, mostly. He's mega hot, though. Everyone's into him. And he's super charming. That's why I feel like he's out of my league, right? He can have anyone he wants."

Who else does Satoru know that's charming? When he first brought this up, Suguru was leaning toward it being Nanami or Haibara or possibly someone in one of his classes, but that sounds too specific. Nanami and Haibara are not all that charming. Suguru knows that being into someone can make them the most charming person imaginable, or hotter than sin—after all, that's how he feels about Satoru, and he knows that Satoru is usually an asshole and not super charming— he doesn't think all of those things apply to their mutual friends. He doesn't spend much time with his classmates, from what Suguru can tell, so it's unlikely to be that.

Which leaves a few possibilities—or maybe just one.

"You're gorgeous and hilarious and smart," he points out, considering his options. Does he call out Satoru and potentially end up in an awkward situation with his roommate if this hot, charming mystery guy isn't Suguru? Does he ignore it? Can he flirt? Should he flirt? He looks at Satoru again, trying to keep his expression neutral, but there's definitely a complicated look on his face.

"And he already likes your personality, apparently. Maybe he only does hookups because the guy he's interested in isn't interested in him, and he doesn't want to seriously date anyone else."

Satoru grins tentatively at the compliments, pleased by them, especially from Suguru. He likes that Suguru finds him that attractive.

When Suguru turns it back on him, a hypothetical that seems a little too specific, Satoru's eyes widen. Is it possible that his crush is reciprocated? It might be. They are best friends. They obviously like spending time together. They like each other, and they're both interested in guys.

He blinks once, eyes still wide, and blushes, but he doesn't look away. He's already decided on his course of action. Maybe Suguru has connected those dots, or he's getting closer. Not enough to be sure yet.

"He's smart, too," Satoru says, his weight still leaning comfortably against Suguru's side, body relaxed. "Really clever and interesting. Super muscular. Tall. Not as tall as me, but nobody's as tall as me." People exist who are taller than you, Satoru. "He's really kind, too, even though he's sort of a bad boy. He's got the look, all piercings and tattoos. It's really hot. And long hair." Satoru grins, cheeky and playful, knowing that there's no question at all by now that he's describing Suguru. "I'm really into guys with long hair."

"There are people taller than you, Satoru," Suguru helpfully points out, picking that out of everything else to focus on. "Go spend time in the locker room of the basketball team or something, you'll find a bunch of guys you can fit right in with." For his height, at least. Not so much his interests.

"Sounds like this bad boy of yours is pretty hot." There really is no question that Satoru is talking about him now, as he's the only person in their social circle with any visible tattoos and piercings. Suguru knows he's hot, and he's not ashamed to say that. "Tell me, what do you like about guys with long hair?"

"He's so hot," Satoru agrees, heart fluttering happily because Suguru has to know now, but he's just flirting back instead of backing off. Satoru snuggles a little closer, happy to be held and daring to hope that this might actually be happening. "I don't think I ever really thought about it before him. I guess he gave me a long hair kink." Satoru brushes Suguru's stray bangs back, grinning as they immediately fall into his face again. "He takes really good care of his hair, so it's soft and shiny. Sometimes I think about his hair falling around us in a curtain while we kiss. That seems pretty hot, right?"

Satoru squirms a little, excited and flirty but still nervous. "You don't think he'd mind that I'm, uh ... not experienced? At all?"

"If he's as good as you say he is, I doubt he'd care." Suguru doesn't care much if Satoru's inexperienced; he has enough experience for them both, and can guide Satoru through whatever he wants to do with Suguru.

"Hair falling in a curtain, huh?" Suguru smirks, sly and mischievous, and flips them so he's leaning over Satoru, sprawled out on the bed beneath him. He reaches up to let down his hair, the strands falling around them. His hair is long and gorgeous, down past his shoulder blades, and thick enough that it can fall around them. He leans down, until he can rub his nose against Satoru's. "Like this?"

Satoru's breath catches as his dream comes true all at once and Suguru presses him down against the bed.

"Like that," Satoru whispers, awed. His heart thumps in his chest as he reaches up to comb a gentle hand through Suguru's hair, feeling how it slips between his fingers and then falls loose to tumble down against Satoru's cheek. His cock fills, body heating up, even as Satoru feels unable to believe his good luck. "Just like that."

"Yeah?" Suguru rubs his nose against Satoru's. "But it has to be while you kiss, doesn't it? So...."

He angles his head, dipping a little lower, and letting his lips brush against Satoru's in a gentle kiss. He lowers his hips at the same time, pressing fully against Satoru. "Like that?"

Satoru makes a soft, surprised little sound when Suguru kisses him, even though it was obvious that it was coming. Suguru's body pressing down on his is less expected, and Satoru gasps against his lips. He bends one knee up alongside Suguru's thigh, letting Suguru settle a little more comfortably between his legs and atop his other thigh, their hips aligned. It has to be immediately obvious that Satoru's half-hard, but he can't find it in him to be the slightest bit embarrassed. Not when Suguru's whispering against his lips.

"Suguru," he whispers, in reply, awed. "Just like that. Fuck ... really? You ..." He can't put it into words. They've just discussed all of it, but somehow it feels like too much to believe that Suguru's agreeing to half of what Satoru just said that he wanted.

It is obvious that Satoru's half-hard, just like Suguru was, but Suguru ignores that for the moment. He leans up enough so he can stare down at Satoru, disbelief in his eyes.

"Satoru, I hit on you the first day," Suguru mentions. "It was shallow then, but it wasn't just your looks. You were a rude brat, and I thought it was delightful. But you didn't respond at all, so I thought you weren't interested."

More like, he first thought Satoru was straight, and then asexual, and then wasn't interested in Suguru because he had a boyfriend, and then because he wasn't Satoru's type.

"What?" Satoru breathes, brows tugging together at the statement that Suguru hit on him from the start. His expression twitches, amused and still perplexed, at being told that he was a delightful rude brat. He likes hearing that, and wants to hear more about it, but he's first distracted by the suggestion that Suguru hit on him. "No, you didn't. What? You ..."

His cheeks are flushed with pleasure and embarrassment, but he still reaches up to cup Suguru's cheek, watching him with awe. "I don't remember this. You ... you hit on me?"

"I thought I was obvious and came across as practically desperate to get in your pants, and you only didn't say anything because you were decent about it." After learning just how sheltered Satoru was, he should have revised that thought, but it had stuck. "I didn't want to fuck things up with my roommate so I let it go, and then we became friends, and well...."

He also didn't want to ruin his friendship with Satoru.

Satoru's eyes go wide at this description, pink cheeks turning a deeper shade of red. "Practically desperate?" he echoes in a whisper, finding it difficult to believe that Suguru had wanted him that much. That he still wanted him that much. "I ... I didn't realize. I didn't notice. I'm so sorry, Suguru, I'm so bad at this."

His fingers drift over Suguru's cheekbone, then his thumb caresses over Suguru's lower lip. "I'm gonna keep being bad at this, Suguru, I don't know what I'm doing. Whatever you want, from dating or sex or a relationship or ... or anything. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to be it. I'm in awe of you, and I feel like I can't possibly be anything but a disappointment."

He wants to be told otherwise, but doesn't think he deserves that. Better if Suguru realizes that this is a mistake and gets out before anyone is hurt. But ... Satoru's ready to do his best, if Suguru wants to try anyway. Satoru will give his all to try and make him happy.

For a moment, Suguru is overcome with how cute Satoru is, and wants to lean down and bite his cheek. He refrains, since that would be weird in the middle of a relatively serious conversation, and instead drops a kiss on his nose.

"You don't need to worry," Suguru tells him. "I have enough experience for us both, and I like you. Any hurdles we encounter, we can deal with from there." It really is that easy for him, at least for now. "Just do what feels right for you. You haven't had trouble being my friend, have you?"

Satoru laughs, breathy and surprised, at the kiss to his nose, and shakes his head at the question. "It's easy to be your friend. You're an amazing friend. As long as you're happy with me, I'll ... I'll do my best, Suguru. I'll try to be a good boyfriend--I mean, if ... if that's what you want. Are we ..."

Flustering at having used that word when he's not sure they've actually agreed on anything more than attraction, Satoru's broken sentences fall apart completely. "Do you want -- we said -- um. Dating?"

"You're an amazing friend, too." Even if he is sarcastic and rude and bratty, though Suguru enjoys that, even when it's turned on him.

But his question does throw Suguru off, somewhat. He assumed that this would lead to dating, since Satoru mentioned wanting something serious, but it probably is good to clarify. "Yes, dating. You said you wanted something serious, right?" Suguru asks. "I suppose you've only seen me doing casual hookups, so thinking I only do that is fair. I did date in high school, but I guess, uh, I didn't want to date anyone but you, but I also...." He trails off, color rising to his cheeks. "I wanted sex still, and to maybe try to move on, since you weren't interested."

Satoru nods, heart quickening eagerly at the confirmation that Suguru does want to date him and doesn't want to date anyone else. "Yes to sex," he blurts out, since there's a possible implication in there that Suguru's not sure if Satoru's interested in sex. Even though they are pressed together like this, both of them obviously hard. Satoru wants to be clear about this. "I'm very interested. In you. In sex with you. In dating you."

He cups Suguru's face in both hands, pulling him down into another kiss and then speaking against his lips anyway. "I've been so jealous. I want you so much. I'm obsessed with you. I'm sorry I didn't realize you'd tried to ask me out." He babbles even as he keeps trying to kiss Suguru between the words.

"Oh, is that why you'd get a little sulky and quiet when I mentioned needing the room?" It wasn't obvious, of course, but enough that Suguru thought it was because of the inconvenience, nothing else.

"I guess I should have been a little more obvious," he teases, and kisses Satoru again, letting it linger this time, lips gentle against Satoru's. He pauses after a moment, then lifts his head. "Have you ever been kissed before?"

Satoru glances aside guiltily when Suguru mentions how he gets sulky whenever Suguru uses their room for hookups. Jealousy curls in his belly now just at the thought of it, hating all those people who got to have Suguru's hands on them.

But he's lured into forgetting it when Suguru kisses him again, properly this time. He whimpers at the feeling of it, shifting beneath Suguru, hips rocking up against the pressure of Suguru's body on his own. He's just starting to get lost in it when Suguru pauses and asks him that instead.

Satoru's hands withdraw, cheeks flaming, heart giving an anxious flutter. "Am I doing it wrong?"

"No, you're fine." Suguru smiles at him, helplessly entertained by his new boyfriend. "I was just asking to see if that was your first kiss, not because you were doing anything wrong." Suguru believes that firsts are important, just like he thinks anniversaries are worth remembering, just like he thinks dates should be memorable and meaningful.

"Ignore that kiss, then. This is your first." He lowers his head again, pressing his lips gently against Satoru's, slowly adding a little more pressure as he kisses him. His hands sink into Satoru's hair, tilting his head slightly, and he just focuses on the kiss, making it as good as he possibly can.

Satoru whimpers gratefully as Suguru's mouth closes over his own, and then he melts into it as Suguru's lips caress his own, impossibly sweet. Reaching for him again, Satoru winds his arms over Suguru's shoulders, hugging him closer as he kisses back. He does his best to mimic what Suguru's doing, learning by copying at first, and he moans and sighs into the kiss each time Suguru does something he likes, unable to help the way he reacts and how vocal he is.

With Satoru so vocal, it's easy to learn what he does like in this, and it gives Suguru more to work with as he draws out more and more noises from Satoru. He eventually uses his tongue, tracing along the seam of his lips, and dipping into Satoru's mouth when his lips finally part.

As he does that, he lowers his body, resting more of his weight on Satoru, and letting his crotch brush against Satoru's. He's half-hard, and it's obvious when he presses down, and he hopes that soothes some of Satoru's worries.

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