marlowemuses | My Boyfriend (Who Lives in Canada)

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My Boyfriend (Who Lives in Canada)

Satoru loved his friends. He loved college, the freedom and connection of it, the knowledge and collaboration. He loved sitting around a lunch table with his friends, chattering on about nonsense and teasing each other.

And he was a little bit in love with his roommate, Suguru, who was seated beside him at the table. The six of them were crammed in to a booth that was only designed for four, so Satoru was basically mashed up against Suguru's side, their thighs sealed together and their shoulders brushing every time one of them moved. It felt electric, and Satoru was trying to ignore the little zings of desire that shot through him every time Suguru moved, or how his arm stretched out along the back of the booth, so close to being draped over Satoru's shoulders.

At the moment, Satoru was regaling them all with the story of some girl who had asked him out, and he hadn't realized that she was asking him out until the fourth(?) attempt when she'd finally gotten exasperated and just demanded are you gay or something?

"What'd you say?" Shoko asked, idly curious but not super invested, spinning her spoon against the bottom of her empty bowl.

"Oh. Just, like, no, I'm just not interested."

"Yeah, same as you've said every time someone has asked you out," Utahime contributed, with a little snort. "More likely you're just ace."

Silence descended around the table, somewhere between shocked and awkward. Satoru stared at her, lips parted, and for a moment he genuinely considered it. Am I asexual?

But then Suguru shifted very slightly, either out of awkwardness or intent to say something, and his arm brushed against the back of Satoru's neck. The bolt of lust that went through him shot straight to his cock. Right. Not asexual.

"I'm not," Satoru insisted, the words spilling indignantly from his mouth before he could think about them. "I have a boyfriend."

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Satoru makes a soft, surprised little sound when Suguru kisses him, even though it was obvious that it was coming. Suguru's body pressing down on his is less expected, and Satoru gasps against his lips. He bends one knee up alongside Suguru's thigh, letting Suguru settle a little more comfortably between his legs and atop his other thigh, their hips aligned. It has to be immediately obvious that Satoru's half-hard, but he can't find it in him to be the slightest bit embarrassed. Not when Suguru's whispering against his lips.

"Suguru," he whispers, in reply, awed. "Just like that. Fuck ... really? You ..." He can't put it into words. They've just discussed all of it, but somehow it feels like too much to believe that Suguru's agreeing to half of what Satoru just said that he wanted.

It is obvious that Satoru's half-hard, just like Suguru was, but Suguru ignores that for the moment. He leans up enough so he can stare down at Satoru, disbelief in his eyes.

"Satoru, I hit on you the first day," Suguru mentions. "It was shallow then, but it wasn't just your looks. You were a rude brat, and I thought it was delightful. But you didn't respond at all, so I thought you weren't interested."

More like, he first thought Satoru was straight, and then asexual, and then wasn't interested in Suguru because he had a boyfriend, and then because he wasn't Satoru's type.

"What?" Satoru breathes, brows tugging together at the statement that Suguru hit on him from the start. His expression twitches, amused and still perplexed, at being told that he was a delightful rude brat. He likes hearing that, and wants to hear more about it, but he's first distracted by the suggestion that Suguru hit on him. "No, you didn't. What? You ..."

His cheeks are flushed with pleasure and embarrassment, but he still reaches up to cup Suguru's cheek, watching him with awe. "I don't remember this. You ... you hit on me?"

"I thought I was obvious and came across as practically desperate to get in your pants, and you only didn't say anything because you were decent about it." After learning just how sheltered Satoru was, he should have revised that thought, but it had stuck. "I didn't want to fuck things up with my roommate so I let it go, and then we became friends, and well...."

He also didn't want to ruin his friendship with Satoru.

Satoru's eyes go wide at this description, pink cheeks turning a deeper shade of red. "Practically desperate?" he echoes in a whisper, finding it difficult to believe that Suguru had wanted him that much. That he still wanted him that much. "I ... I didn't realize. I didn't notice. I'm so sorry, Suguru, I'm so bad at this."

His fingers drift over Suguru's cheekbone, then his thumb caresses over Suguru's lower lip. "I'm gonna keep being bad at this, Suguru, I don't know what I'm doing. Whatever you want, from dating or sex or a relationship or ... or anything. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to be it. I'm in awe of you, and I feel like I can't possibly be anything but a disappointment."

He wants to be told otherwise, but doesn't think he deserves that. Better if Suguru realizes that this is a mistake and gets out before anyone is hurt. But ... Satoru's ready to do his best, if Suguru wants to try anyway. Satoru will give his all to try and make him happy.

For a moment, Suguru is overcome with how cute Satoru is, and wants to lean down and bite his cheek. He refrains, since that would be weird in the middle of a relatively serious conversation, and instead drops a kiss on his nose.

"You don't need to worry," Suguru tells him. "I have enough experience for us both, and I like you. Any hurdles we encounter, we can deal with from there." It really is that easy for him, at least for now. "Just do what feels right for you. You haven't had trouble being my friend, have you?"

Satoru laughs, breathy and surprised, at the kiss to his nose, and shakes his head at the question. "It's easy to be your friend. You're an amazing friend. As long as you're happy with me, I'll ... I'll do my best, Suguru. I'll try to be a good boyfriend--I mean, if ... if that's what you want. Are we ..."

Flustering at having used that word when he's not sure they've actually agreed on anything more than attraction, Satoru's broken sentences fall apart completely. "Do you want -- we said -- um. Dating?"

"You're an amazing friend, too." Even if he is sarcastic and rude and bratty, though Suguru enjoys that, even when it's turned on him.

But his question does throw Suguru off, somewhat. He assumed that this would lead to dating, since Satoru mentioned wanting something serious, but it probably is good to clarify. "Yes, dating. You said you wanted something serious, right?" Suguru asks. "I suppose you've only seen me doing casual hookups, so thinking I only do that is fair. I did date in high school, but I guess, uh, I didn't want to date anyone but you, but I also...." He trails off, color rising to his cheeks. "I wanted sex still, and to maybe try to move on, since you weren't interested."

Satoru nods, heart quickening eagerly at the confirmation that Suguru does want to date him and doesn't want to date anyone else. "Yes to sex," he blurts out, since there's a possible implication in there that Suguru's not sure if Satoru's interested in sex. Even though they are pressed together like this, both of them obviously hard. Satoru wants to be clear about this. "I'm very interested. In you. In sex with you. In dating you."

He cups Suguru's face in both hands, pulling him down into another kiss and then speaking against his lips anyway. "I've been so jealous. I want you so much. I'm obsessed with you. I'm sorry I didn't realize you'd tried to ask me out." He babbles even as he keeps trying to kiss Suguru between the words.

"Oh, is that why you'd get a little sulky and quiet when I mentioned needing the room?" It wasn't obvious, of course, but enough that Suguru thought it was because of the inconvenience, nothing else.

"I guess I should have been a little more obvious," he teases, and kisses Satoru again, letting it linger this time, lips gentle against Satoru's. He pauses after a moment, then lifts his head. "Have you ever been kissed before?"

Satoru glances aside guiltily when Suguru mentions how he gets sulky whenever Suguru uses their room for hookups. Jealousy curls in his belly now just at the thought of it, hating all those people who got to have Suguru's hands on them.

But he's lured into forgetting it when Suguru kisses him again, properly this time. He whimpers at the feeling of it, shifting beneath Suguru, hips rocking up against the pressure of Suguru's body on his own. He's just starting to get lost in it when Suguru pauses and asks him that instead.

Satoru's hands withdraw, cheeks flaming, heart giving an anxious flutter. "Am I doing it wrong?"

"No, you're fine." Suguru smiles at him, helplessly entertained by his new boyfriend. "I was just asking to see if that was your first kiss, not because you were doing anything wrong." Suguru believes that firsts are important, just like he thinks anniversaries are worth remembering, just like he thinks dates should be memorable and meaningful.

"Ignore that kiss, then. This is your first." He lowers his head again, pressing his lips gently against Satoru's, slowly adding a little more pressure as he kisses him. His hands sink into Satoru's hair, tilting his head slightly, and he just focuses on the kiss, making it as good as he possibly can.

Satoru whimpers gratefully as Suguru's mouth closes over his own, and then he melts into it as Suguru's lips caress his own, impossibly sweet. Reaching for him again, Satoru winds his arms over Suguru's shoulders, hugging him closer as he kisses back. He does his best to mimic what Suguru's doing, learning by copying at first, and he moans and sighs into the kiss each time Suguru does something he likes, unable to help the way he reacts and how vocal he is.

With Satoru so vocal, it's easy to learn what he does like in this, and it gives Suguru more to work with as he draws out more and more noises from Satoru. He eventually uses his tongue, tracing along the seam of his lips, and dipping into Satoru's mouth when his lips finally part.

As he does that, he lowers his body, resting more of his weight on Satoru, and letting his crotch brush against Satoru's. He's half-hard, and it's obvious when he presses down, and he hopes that soothes some of Satoru's worries.

Satoru's moans grow more shameless as Suguru's tongue slips into his mouth, quickly learning that he likes that very much. He bucks up beneath Suguru, chests pressed together and then hips grinding. Suguru's hard, and Satoru feels greedy for the solid heat of him. He's not sure how fast or slow they're supposed to be going, but having Suguru pressing down on him like this, kissing him like this, is the best thing he's ever felt. Whimpers and moans spill constantly from his lips as he strokes his tongue alongside his boyfriend's, welcoming him deeper and trying to return the pleasure by giving everything he has.

Suguru doesn't intend to push Satoru into sex yet, not wanting to rush anything, but he does like having Satoru pressed against him like this. One of his hands slides down to cup his neck, thumb stroking along his nape, and continues kissing Satoru like there's nothing else in the world he needs to do. Only this, until the end of time.

He eventually breaks the kiss, pulling back a little so he can look at Satoru. His lips are shiny and red from their kissing, and Suguru is sure his are likewise.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Satoru nods shyly, cheeks flushed. He licks his lips, tasting Suguru on his mouth, and studies Suguru's eyes as he looks for some cue as to what he's supposed to do now. "Yeah. Very much. Is it ... is it okay? Are you enjoying yourself?"

Cocky though Satoru is in so many things, he feels utterly ignorant about this, and he can't bear the thought of being a disappointment for Suguru. This still feels too good to be true, and everything Satoru has learned today still has him thinking that he's going to be a terrible boyfriend.

"I am, very much." Suguru grins down at him, leaning in to kiss the tip of his nose. He's honest about that; Satoru might be inexperienced, but there's enthusiasm and desire, and he feels a spark each time he kisses Satoru, which counts for a lot.

"Don't worry about it, baby. Just do what feels right and good, and we'll figure it out. I'll tell you if I don't like something." He isn't shy about calling Satoru out on his shit. "I know you can't handle not being good at something right away, but it's not a race or a competition. And you are good at this."

Satoru smiles at the sweet kiss to his nose, and his eyes widen a little in surprise at being called 'baby'. He's always thought that it was a stupid epithet, because why would someone want to compare their romantic partner to a baby? Babies are terrible. All wrinkly and noisy. But when Suguru calls him that now, it makes him feel all flattered and gooey, like he's something treasured.

Breathing out in a puff that's almost a laugh, something awed and aching with emotion, Satoru reaches up to cup Suguru's cheek. "I want you so much, Suguru. You're my favorite person in all the world."

Suguru grins at that, nuzzling his cheek against Satoru's hand. "Yeah?" he asks, teasingly. "I should hope so, considering what we're doing right now."

Not that they've gone that far, but there is the possibility. The potential. Suguru likes sex, and he knows Satoru is a virgin, and Suguru isn't sure how often he jerks off, but he doesn't think Satoru is adverse to sex, considering everything.

"You're my favorite person, too. You were stunningly attractive and then a hilarious jerk, and I fell in love—" He cuts off, blushing. That's not something to confess before they've even gone on a proper date. "I really enjoyed that, and getting to know you, and you became my best friend."

Satoru's eyes flash wide as Suguru accidentally confesses that he fell in love. Lips parted in shock, Satoru stares up at him, heart completely forgetting how to beat in a rhythm for a few seconds, going too fast and skipping a few. "Oh."

He's too stunned to think, too stunned to say anything. Thinking that Suguru liked him enough to date him was unbelievable. Thinking that Suguru is in love with him is wildly, impossibly too good to be true.

One hand's still cupped against Suguru's cheek, and the other curls unthinking around the side of his waist, slipping up under his shirt to press against skin. "You ..."

His breath shudders out of him, a little quiver going through him because no one's ever ...

"Say it," Satoru whispers, realizing that he's started trembling under Suguru. "Say what you meant."

He braces himself for it to be nothing, tries to smother the desperate little flare of hope. Satoru says he loves things all the time. Cake. Glitter. Sea turtles. Finding new flavors of gummy bears. Suguru just meant that he really liked something, but froze up because it was an awkward word to use it context. He didn't ...

He couldn't ...

For all that Suguru dates casually and has had a number of partners, he's never fallen in love with them, far too guarded with his heart to truly connect completely and let someone in. He's honest with them, and his partners have always known that it's never meant to be something serious, which is why he has gone through so many partners. So he's never said those words before, or come as close as he has to saying them to Satoru.

He stares at Satoru for a moment, color still obvious on his cheeks. Satoru's hands against his skin burn, both too cold and too hot. The pulse in Suguru's neck flutters, his heartbeat erratic. The moment stretches between them, tense, as he wonders what this means for them.

"I fell in love," he says softly, what feels like an eternity later.

"Suguru," he whispers, disbelieving. His trembling increases, and he still can't properly form words, even though he knows he should, he should tell Suguru how incredible he is, how special and wanted and loved. But Satoru is utterly choked by emotion, unable to speak even a single word beyond his boyfriend's name.

His arms slide farther around Suguru, hooking around his back and hauling him down into a hug so he can tuck his face into the crook of Suguru's neck. His legs lock around Suguru's hips in return, tangling him up as tightly as he can, clinging desperately to his best friend.

"Suguru," he murmurs again, shaking uncontrollably, breath coming in little gasps. His lashes are wet as he presses his face into Suguru's skin.

Suguru drops his weight on Satoru as his (new) boyfriend tugs him into a hug. He can feel how Satoru shakes, and that was definitely not the reaction he was expecting from Satoru with that slip of the tongue. But despite the lack of response, he's not overly concerned: Satoru is practically a limpet with the way he's wrapped himself around Suguru. If Satoru didn't feel something, he likely wouldn't be holding on so deeply.

"Did I render you speechless, Satoru?" he teases gently, running a hand down Satoru's side. "Turn you into a Pokemon?" Though Pokemon only say their own names, not others.

Satoru gasps, scandalized, at that accusation, unable to help laughing. "How dare you!! I know you're just trying to goad me into an argument. You know Digimon are better."

His grip loosens only a little, and he keeps his face pressed into Suguru's neck, nuzzling softly at him.

"Suguru," he whispers, still trembling. He's overcome by emotion and can't even start shaping it into proper words. But as long as he has Suguru close, he trusts that they'll figure it out in the end. "No one's ever ..."

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