marlowemuses | Fools in Love, for gentry

"Put your hands in my hair," Laurent coaxed, feeling disconnected from Gansey with those hands tangled in the sheets instead of touching him. He hadn't yet realized why Gansey was being so careful not to touch him, assuming that it was part of Gansey being careful with him.

But, in return for his request, he was more than happy to give Gansey what he wanted. Kissing him heatedly, Laurent parted his lips, flicking his tongue into Gansey's lips and then drawing back so that he could lure Gansey to follow. He opened readily to him, offering all of himself, eager to lose himself in the pleasure of Gansey's mouth, Gansey's hands, Gansey's moans. Laurent moaned in return, yearning for more.

His hand sped up, wanting to push Gansey over the edge, because he couldn't resist. He wanted everything he could get of Gansey. "Come for me," he murmured, lips brushing Gansey's mouth as he spoke, diving back into the kiss a moment later.

Gansey's fingers tensed when Laurent coaxed him, crumbling easily and giving into temptation. He had a love affair with Laurent's hair; reaching, he dug both in, clenching and tugging on those brilliantly lovely locks. It was easier to fall into kissing that way. He was delighted with the heat of the other man's kisses and followed eagerly, not willing to let those lips escape him for long.

These kisses couldn't be more different from the earlier chaste, sweet kisses they'd shared. Now it was hot, dirty, and wanting. He ran his hands through that hair and pulled on its ends as they kissed, drunk on the sweetness of Laurent's tongue and mouth. He returned the playfulness, catching Laurent's tongue with his teeth and tugging lightly when he got the chance, sucking on it, nipping his lips, chasing after every pulled away kiss.

One hand found its way to the nape of Laurent's neck, sliding, fingers kneading and massaging Laurent's shoulder while the other remained passionately twisted in the man's hair.

Gansey hummed into the new kiss after Laurent spoke, hips bucking up into the hand working at his erection. Gansey wanted to give Laurent everything, eager to please and pleasure in whatever way he could. It wouldn't be terribly difficult either; it had been a long time since he'd gotten off in any way, and he was utterly besotted with bethrothed. Laurent's mouth on his, hand working against him, it all had Gansey pushing against him and touching as much as his restraint would allow.

The sensation of his climax approaching was one that was easy to recognize. The churning in his belly and the uncomfortable tensing of his muscles, the way his heart seemed to sputter in his chest, increased bloodflow, kisses becoming more messy and needy.

It took a little longer for him to oblige but he reached his orgasm not soon after. Still pushing his hips up to meet Laurent's hand but lips stilling while still parted, face flushed and hair a mess swept back away from his heated face. He closed his eyes as he rode it out, come spilling and dripping down his cock, leaking onto Laurent's hand and his own legs, and the sheets beneath them.

His chest rose and fell while his heart continued to race. It was a sweeping, blank moment where he was weak against Laurent, sighing against his lips.

Laurent lifted his head so that he could watch as Gansey came. He wanted to see the sensations and reactions flickering across Gansey's expression. Utterly enraptured, Laurent grinned and kissed him again, and again, softer now as Gansey caught his breath.

"I love you," he murmured, barely audible, but he couldn't help the way his lips curved wide in a grin at his confession, thrilled to be able to offer it to his Gansey.

When he could bear to pause in kissing for a moment, he shifted, settling comfortably against Gansey so that he could admire the mess he had made of his fiance. Smiling wickedly, Laurent trailed a dripping fingertip through a splash of seed on Gansey's belly, admiring the white streaks against Gansey's belly and his own hand.

With hardly a moment's pause, Laurent lifted that hand to his lips, licking it clean like a cat. There was a tiny note of horror and pain at the back of his mind at the feeling of semen on his tongue, but Gansey tasted like... Gansey. Laurent wanted to savor every drop of him, to know everything there was to know about his beloved.

Lazy and satisfied, Laurent licked his hand clean, then returned to trailing his fingers through the scattered droplets, licking his fingertips clean and repeating the process. "Better than an ice bath?" he teased, when Gansey looked capable of speech again.

And what a marvelous mess Gansey was. That blank, blissful moment lasted a good minute, paired with only Laurent's scent and an encompassing sweet numb sensation. He was drawn out of his post-orgasm starry wonder when he noticed Laurent was licking his semen off his hand. Fascinated, Gansey watched as the man licked his fingers clean, thrilling quietly in the thought that Laurent was swallowing him.

It wasn't as powerful as Laurent's low confession, however. It was something he could have missed entirely if he hadn't been so utterly focused on everything Laurent was doing. Truthfully, Gansey wasn't sure if he actually had heard it or had simply imagined it. I love you. Truly? He felt weightless. In love and in love with being in love.

Exhaling slowly, he slid his hand free of Laurent's hair, tucking now-mussed locks behind the man's ear.

"Much," he said sincerely, not even capable of shooting back sass in his post-orgasm state. He was feeling much too raw and affectionate.

Curling inward, he tucked his face into the crook of Laurent's neck and latched onto where the man's pulse was strongest. Kissing, sucking, Gansey took his time lavishing that spot with both his lips and teeth to work a nice, dark mark there. Much darker and bigger than the one he'd given in the woods.

When he finally pulled his mouth back it was a blossoming red spot, wet from his tongue, rimmed with the outline of his teeth.

Laurent tangled his arms immediately around Gansey, pressing close and clinging as Gansey marked him. He gasped and panted quietly, melting into the exquisite feeling of Gansey's mouth on his throat.

The sensation made his cock throb and his blood race, making him feel starved anew for his Gansey. When Gansey released him enough to check his handiwork, Laurent was a flushed, panting mess.

He smiled, shy with the intensity of his emotions, and bumped his nose against Gansey's cheek. "You're a mess," he teased, blushing happily. He wound their legs together, wanting to be tangled up with Gansey as much as possible, and then tugged at Gansey to pull him on top, exactly the position that had made him panic before. Careful and slow, Laurent hugged his arms around Gansey's neck, drawing him into a slow and deep kiss.

Gansey was pleased to see Laurent flushed, feeling a new spark of energy rush through his veins when he heard how the man's breath became more labored as he worked. It was one thing to get off, it was another to see Laurent experiencing pleasure of his own. It made him want more, more than he knew he should ask for, and he felt wholly selfish once again.

Laurent teased him and he laughed, delighted. "And who is to blame?" he accused in a teasing tone, laughing some as their legs wound together. It surprised him when Laurent tugged him on top; he was worried, briefly, but he didn't think Laurent would do it if he didn't think he could handle it—or that he would push him off if he suddenly decided it was too much. So Gansey relaxed, melted into their new kiss as he tangled his hands into Laurent's hair again.

It was deep and searching, almost lazy with how he rolled his tongue and lips. Tilting his head some more, he pressed his mouth down against Laurent's with more passion. Sucked on his lips and tongue, nipped generously with teeth, dug them playfully down against that luxurious bottom lip.

When he broke the kiss it was only because he so desperately wanted to latch his mouth onto the cut of Laurent's jaw. So he tilted his head to better neck his lover, catching skin between his teeth and working it again. It was probably not a good idea to leave Laurent's throat and jawline covered in hickeys but he simply couldn't help himself. His bethrothed was exquisite and there were some things one simply couldn't say no to. All the while he kept himself prepared to roll away should Laurent show any signs of panic, trying to keep sharp on his fiance's reactions and if they were good or bad.

The pleasure of being pinned beneath Gansey was exquisite. He could still feel the low undercurrents of panic and dread, but they were deeply submerged now. All of that was long past, and couldn't touch him now. Gansey's influence and Gansey's love formed a sort of bubble around Laurent. He was utterly untouchable to anyone else, and the feeling of it made him want to glow.

Tilting his chin up, Laurent gladly gave Gansey access. Each bite and kiss earned a tiny little whimper of pleasure, and Laurent writhed slightly beneath him, unable to help himself.

He was achingly erect, cock trapped between their bodies, but he ignored it. The low throb of blood to his erection was pleasurable, and the sensations were nice to feel, especially in a situation like this, with someone as wonderful as Gansey. Laurent didn't expect any kind of relief, and wasn't at all certain he would be able to cope with the possibility.

Kissing, though. Kissing was nice. Kissing was wonderful. He made a soft, keening noise, tipping his chin down and trying to catch Gansey's lips again.

As much as Gansey wanted to give Laurent that same pleasure, he didn't think it was appropriate to jump on him like that. He didn't think pushing people past their limits was the way to help them overcome them. Gentleness, kindness, and love. Those were more helpful. When Laurent asked him to go beyond what they were doing now he would. Otherwise? He would keep to what Laurent seemed to be okay with.

Which was still more than fine with Gansey. Kissing? Utterly marvelous. He wouldn't tire of those lips. Certainly not when Laurent made such enticing, delicious sounds. Gansey was well aware of Laurent's hardening length between them but made no moves toward it. He focused his energy on lavishing Laurent with deep, sensual kisses and thoroughly messing up his fine hair. There was plenty of skin to bite along, too.

Gansey chuckled when Laurent whined, content with his lovebites enough for now to return to Laurent's mouth. But he teased, giving a light kiss and then pulling his head back to make Laurent lean up, chase him.

Breaking the kissing again, Gansey licked his lips and leveled his eyes with Laurent's.

"I want to kiss you all over. May I?" He paused for half a breath before quickly adding, "I can keep it above the waist." Much as he'd desperately love to pleasure and get Laurent off with his mouth.

"Yes," Laurent said, smile widening with happiness and adoration as he watched Gansey's eyes. He stole another quick kiss, since he couldn't resist, and guided Gansey's hand down to some of the laces that kept his trousers closed. "You don't have to keep it above the waist," he said, grinning playfully but letting Gansey make the decision as to whether he wanted to undo those laces. "I like having your hands all over me."

Blinking and tensing almost as soon as he'd said that, Laurent searched Gansey's eyes, finally realizing something. "I told you I didn't." He swallowed, immediately feeling like a fool. "I told you I didn't like being touched, and that was when you stopped touching me."

Horrified by his own stupidity, Laurent groaned softly, lifting his hand to curl it around Gansey's cheek, holding his gaze. "I didn't mean you." His thumb brushed along Gansey's cheekbone, smiling with adoration. "I wasn't thinking. I meant that in the past I'd never liked being touched. My father and brother weren't much for hugs or physical affection, and anyone else who touched me..."

Laurent frowned, eyes darkening and jaw tensing. He dropped his hand away. "They pawed at me. Like I was a pretty ornament. Something to be possessed."

Determined to right this wrong, Laurent shook his head to dispel the thoughts, curling both arms around Gansey's neck and pulling him close so their foreheads touched. "When you touch me," he murmured, "I feel like I'm starved for it. You make me feel safe and loved, and I never want you to stop touching me. Please."

Gansey hated to think that Laurent had been treated so... so roughly. No one should ever be looked at as a possession or ornament. Yes, Laurent was astoundingly beautiful, but there was so much more than that. The playful man that loved challenges, that had a sparkle in his eye when he thought he bested you, who smiled lovingly at horses and was enamored with old dusty scrolls.

"I'm glad," he breathed out, wrapping his arms tightly around Laurent's waist when he was hugged around the neck, resting his forehead against the other man's. "That I'm able to make you feel that way." His hands flattened so that his palms were against the smoothness of Laurent's back, and they trailed, slowly downwards, to the small of it.

"You deserve love and safety. Nothing less." It occurred to him that Laurent might not believe so; he didn't know all the circumstances Laurent had withstood and he didn't know the nuances of Vere. "If you never believe anything else I say, I hope you can believe that."

Lifting his face, he pressed a kiss against Laurent's forehead.

"I love you."

Even if it was crazy and quick, he couldn't stop the feelings he had from spinning wildly out of control. It was like a match had been lit and had touched a trail of candle wicks. Began slow and warm before everything was alight with flame.

His hands wandered around to the front of Laurent's trousers to tug the lacing loose. If he was given the choice? Of course he would want to see all of his lover bared to him. Kiss whatever inch of skin he could.

"... If you get nervous, tell me. I'll slow down." Or stop, of course. Even with Laurent's blessing, panic didn't always comply with what someone wanted.

Gansey slid down, leaving a trail of hot kisses down Laurent's chin, the slope of his throat, over his fine collarbone and to the spot right over his heart. So close to Laurent's nipple, he ran the flat of his tongue over it before nipping at it with his teeth, teasing it with a rolling tongue.

"I believe you," Laurent murmured, smiling adoringly up at him. He didn't believe that he was worthy of love and safety, but he believed that Gansey loved him and wanted him safe and happy, and that knowledge filled him with warmth.

He lifted his hips as Gansey unraveled the laces of his trousers. The laces at the front were easy enough and allowed for quick access, but more laces followed each of his calves and had to be unwound to free him from the garment. Grinning fondly as Gansey finally bested the pants, Laurent helped to wiggle out of them.

Long-legged and slender, Laurent was milk-pale from his toes to the tip of his head. He burned easily, and his Veretian garments kept his skin covered, which left him very pale, with only a very light dusting of white-gold hair on his legs and chest. Only the hair around his cock was darker, a burnished gold color, tidily kept.

Laurent bent his legs only slightly, eyes low-lidded as he watched Gansey's reaction. He knew that he was beautiful, and had no fears on that count, but he still felt nervous and vulnerable at being so exposed.

"Gansey," he murmured, sighing as Gansey kissed his way down Laurent's chin and throat. Each kiss soothed his nerves and shyness, coaxing him to relax and trust. With Gansey, he was safe. There was no need to feel vulnerable, because he wasn't vulnerable, knowing that he could trust entirely to Gansey's handling.

He melted into that knowledge, relaxing back into the covers as Gansey explored him. The kisses were like nothing he'd ever felt before, and Laurent gasped with pleasure as Gansey's tongue laved over the sensitive skin of his nipple. "Gansey."

Laurent was even more beautiful with his clothes off. Slender, pale, like the beautiful ideal men in some of the Queen's imported paintings. He used to look at them when he was a child and wonder if skin so flawless and white really existed; Gansey was always tanned and golden like an outdoor Adonis.

That was not, however, what struck him most the moment those trousers were nothing but a sloppy pile on the floor. It was the intimacy, the exposure. Having Laurent bared to him when it was something he'd been so nervous about before. Even now Gansey could tell that his prince wasn't wholly comfortable; much better than before, but he still had to be careful. They were both vulnerable but in the absolute best way. The only way two people with strong feelings for one another could.

His intense gaze was filled with adoration, affection, and attraction. Gansey had never wanted anyone like this before. So wholly.

Every time Laurent said his name his heart skipped. The sound encouraged him—keeping his hands busy, he slid them down Laurent's sides as he worked his mouth against that nipple some more. Once he was satisfied, he moved onto the other one, sucking and tugging it with his teeth.

And then down again. He skimmed his lips along Laurent's ribs and left another mark there, lovingly bringing forth a beautiful red spot on that otherwise flawless skin. Kissing, trailing down his tummy, and after a moment's pause slipping his tongue into Laurent's belly button just because he did say he wanted to kiss all of him.

For the most part, Laurent restrained all of his little sounds and reactions. His tells were all small, subtle things, many of them being obviously repressed. Hitches in his breath, twitching fingers that clutched at the sheets. Stifled whimpers and bitten-back moans. He was expressive, even despite his restraint, and his whole body was sensitive. Every little kiss and bite got a reaction.

The pleasure of it was like nothing he'd felt before. Laurent felt adored, and completely safe. He belonged utterly to Gansey, and he felt adored by Gansey's explorations. He'd never known that lovemaking could be like this. His head was spinning with pleasure, desire, and trust.

Resting one hand in Gansey's hair, Laurent's fingers tightened and quivered against Gansey's scalp whenever Gansey did something he liked, and Laurent liked almost everything that Gansey did.

Laughing with pleasure and delight at the feeling of Gansey's tongue slipping into his belly button like that, Laurent arched off the bed. His restraint shattered for a moment, too delighted--and aroused--by the gesture to hold back. "Gansey!" he yelped, dissolving into laughter.

When he felt Laurent's hands twist into his hair he groaned, closing his eyes for a good long moment as a ripple of arousal dragged through him. They encouraged him to keep going so he did, emboldened by the continued gasps of his name from those perfect lips.

And he laughed, joyously, when Laurent gave such a strong reaction to the tongue in his belly button. Gansey loved hearing his fiance. There was no need for restraint; no one would hear them all the way up here unless they were climbing the stairs and right outside the door. Flicking his tongue, he sucked gently over Laurent's belly button before nipping his way down the soft flesh of his lower stomach, worshiping the handsome jut of hipbones with his mouth.

God, he wanted to put his mouth on Laurent's erection, but he practiced his own restraint. That would be the last spot. Gansey was dedicated to loving every inch of Laurent's body; he knew he would end up terribly distracted from that once his lips found their way to the other man's cock.

So he teased. Brushed his cheek along inside of Laurent's thigh and dragged his fingers down the outsides. Placed nips and kisses along the length of his legs once he'd moved back enough, gently parting Laurent's legs so he could kiss along his calves and knees.

Laurent watched him through low-lidded eyes, attention fixed on his beloved. He tensed more than once, breath shuddering out of him whenever Gansey went somewhere new or when he parted Laurent's legs, but a few more soft kisses were enough to ground him back in the pleasure of Gansey exploring him, worshiping every inch of Laurent's slender body.

He kept his hand possessively in Gansey's hair, making a soft mew of frustration when Gansey moved down far enough to be out of reach. As soon as he could touch again, he did, fastening his hand into Gansey's hair with a little sigh that he wasn't aware of making. "Gansey."

The name was a prayer, and Laurent couldn't stop saying it. No other word could contain his adoration and awe.

Gansey's goal didn't occur to him. As knowledgeable as Laurent considered himself to be, his views of sex had been warped, and he didn't entertain the possibility that Gansey would willingly perform oral sex.

It wasn't until Gansey's kisses kept moving higher along his thighs that Laurent got some clue, eyes widening and body tensing again as he realized that Gansey's exploratory kisses might well go everywhere. His hand tensed, eyes riveted on Gansey's face.

Exploring Laurent's body with his hands and mouth was a treat like nothing else. Every part deserved affection; Gansey was more than willing to give it. The mantra of his name had him close to another edge, drowning in desire and longing, love and adoration. God, it was a voice he could never tire of hearing. The sound was beautiful when in ecstasy.

Treading into possibly dangerous territory, Gansey paused when he felt Laurent's hands tense in his hair. Glancing up, he studied the man's handsome face, lips parted as he ran his tongue across them shortly. Heart thudding in his chest, it almost hurt. So close. So close he could almost taste Laurent on his tongue.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Of course Gansey wanted to perform oral sex on him. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to give Laurent incredible pleasure, and he had something of an oral fixation. But if it was too much for the other man he wouldn't. To him, it was an action of love and trust—as all things related to sex were for him, really.

He rubbed his palms against Laurent's thighs, kneading his thumbs down against the muscle.

"I don't..." Laurent frowned, struggling to understand. His body urgently wanted Gansey to continue, but his heart couldn't bear the idea of forcing Gansey into something that Laurent's experience said was miserably unpleasant to perform. "I don't understand why you'd want to."

His brow furrowed deeply, certain that he must have misunderstood something, or that Gansey didn't intend that at all, but his hand stayed in Gansey's hair, unwilling to break the connection between them. "I'm not going to reciprocate... that."

Tense and spooked, Laurent frowned at him, struggling to comprehend why Gansey would consider oral sex unless he hoped for reciprocation.

Gansey blinked in mild surprise, one fine eyebrow raising at the declaration. He hadn't even been thinking about reciprocation; his mind had been solely focused on pleasuring his beloved, not on himself.

"You don't have to," he answered, refusing to break their gaze either. Perhaps it was something cultural? A thing more demeaning in Vere? Not that Gansey much cared about that—he'd do things far more demeaning if it would please Laurent. Sensing that his lover was tense, he continued to massage his hands gently against the man's thighs in a soothing manner.

"I just want to make you feel good. For your pleasure." Pausing, his lips curled into a slight smile as he tilted his head, "Ah... and, I guess, I want to taste you." That was true, too. He'd get pleasure through Laurent's pleasure. Paired with the taste of him? It was more than enough for Gansey.

"You don't have to do anything for me."

Ignoring the fact that he already had, using his hand earlier. That had been perfectly lovely.

Gansey wasn't planning to continue until Laurent relaxed. If he relaxed. So he remained steady, studying Laurent's expression as he rubbed loving hands up against the inside of the man's thighs. They would work this out together.

The steady devotion in Gansey's eyes calmed and soothed him. Laurent reached for him, drawing him up for a few soft, sweet kisses, feeling reassured by them. Nuzzling gently at Gansey's cheek, Laurent hugged to him, considering what Gansey had said. "If you're sure. If you don't... you don't feel you have to."

Taking a deep breath, Laurent let go of him, willing to trust Gansey's word. "I love you," he said, audible this time, unable to look away from Gansey's sparkling eyes. "More than I ever dreamed I could love anyone."

His hand returned to Gansey's hair, mussing it slightly. He smiled tentatively, willing himself to relax. "I trust you."

The kisses were sweet and only reaffirmed Gansey's desire to draw Laurent to his climax in the most pleasurable way possible. He dissolved into those kisses and sighed with the nuzzling, returning each action with utter delight.

When Laurent said I love you, loud and clear, his heart skipped a few beats. There was nothing more in the world that he wanted than this. Were a bee to fly in the window and prick his shoulder now, he'd fall down dead fully satisfied.

Gansey reached up to catch Laurent's wrist. He pulled the man's hand down to his face, pressed Laurent's palm against his lips so he could drop a kiss right in the center. "I'll never betray that trust," he promised, meaning it with every fiber of his being. He'd die first. And then he let the hand go. Sliding back into his earlier position, he started again by kissing up Laurent's legs rather than just launching right into oral sex.

Moving up, slowly, fingers creeping and tracing patters onto Laurent's skin, he stopped when he reached the top of his lover's thighs. With a playful nip at the top, he moved from legs to that lovely cock, fascinated by the dusting of slightly darker golden hair at its base. Gently, he began by pressing a kiss to the tip. Getting Laurent used to the feeling of Gansey's mouth. The crown he lavished with his tongue, massaging his tongue down against the slit and around the head before easing his lips over the tip. Nice and slow, so as not to startle too much.

As he worked he glanced up at Laurent for approval every so often—when he wasn't looking up at Laurent, his eyes were lidded, dark eyelashes curling against his cheeks.

Laurent watched him closely, worried that Gansey would hate it, but Gansey's devoted attentions quickly reassured Laurent's nerves and convinced him that Gansey wasn't displeased by what he was doing.

He'd watched performances before. Sometimes there was no way to avoid watching them, in the casual sexuality of the Veretian court. The likelihood of nobles allowing their pets to fondle or pleasure them in Laurent's vicinity had gone down sharply when Laurent had started offering pointed commentary and feedback on the performances. He'd seen enthusiasm before. He'd never seen oral sex offered out of love or devotion. It was utterly different, and Laurent couldn't look away.

Keeping his hand in Gansey's hair, Laurent was careful not to push or tug, not even when the pleasure of it started to win him over and made him want more. It felt exquisite, better than anything he'd experienced before. Certainly better than anything he remembered, and he instantly regretted that flash of memory. Breath hitching, Laurent's hand tightened briefly, eyes wincing shut.

He forced his eyes back open, focusing stubbornly on Gansey's face. Gansey, who loved him.

"Stop," he said after a few minutes, even though his body ached for more. He tugged at Gansey, curling into his arms and pressing his face against Gansey's shoulder as he tried to stop trembling.

He stopped.

Gansey had been expecting that something might happen; he saw the wince before Laurent had uttered the words. Their eyes had met and Gansey had watched, keenly, as the fine lines in the other man's brow had grown deeper. When he pushed himself back up he licked his lips, eyelids fluttering. It was pathetic how much more he wanted. The selfish part of him wanted to taste even more, swallow Laurent's come if he could. But he'd never push.

Laurent tugged and Gansey's arms were open instantly, wrapping around his lover tightly as though he might melt otherwise. Pressing the curve of his lips against the crown of Laurent's head, he pressed a gentle kiss against flaxen hair. Shaking like a bird, poor thing—Gansey hated seeing Laurent so distraught.

He rubbed a hand against his lover's back, making soft noises of affection to comfort. Before that moment when the man's pupils had dilated suddenly it had seemed like he was enjoying it. What had happened to him? Gansey could only assume it was something terrible, and all signs pointed to something sexual.

Patiently, he made no moves until it seemed like Laurent was feeling better.

Laurent's trembling stopped soon enough, soothed by Gansey's comfort and attention. He nuzzled at his lover, relaxing a little bit. He'd ruined the moment and disappointed Gansey's desires. The shadow of his memories, besmirching the sweetness of their love.

"Talk to me," Laurent asked, resting his head on Gansey's shoulder so he could just see the profile of Gansey's face. "Tell me more about your thoughts. Your desires. I want to understand. I want... I want to see it the way you do."

As Laurent said that, he fastened upon it as a new center of his entire world. If Laurent's experience had been that something was miserable, but Gansey thought it wonderful, he wanted to understand. He wanted to see Gansey's perspective on things, and to erase the shadows and defenses that were so deeply embedded in his own. Instead of mentally dismissing Gansey's perspective as naive this time, he categorized it as right, and sought to make his own fall into line.

Gansey was normally quite adept at explaining. He could go on for hours at court, describing in great detail the history of so-and-so king or telling stories. Often times he'd been told that he even had a lovely speaking voice, and that despite the fact that his history lessons were so dull, they had been enjoyable simply because Gansey had been the one telling them.

Talking about his romantic inclinations, however? He found that to be more difficult. Expressing his feelings, putting what was so delicate and close to his heart into formation...

He swallowed, sighed slowly, resolving to finding a way to do it without sounding like an utter buffoon.

"For me..."

He cleared his throat, ignoring the way his neck warmed. No doubt his ears were pink.

"Ah. Did you know that the lips are one of the parts of the body that are most sensitive? Due to the nerves... so, when applying pressure..." No, not the scientific route. He made a soft noise and shook his head, laughing at himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm a little embarrassed." Holding Laurent tighter against him, he closed his eyes as he spoke. "But... it's an intimate act, isn't it? Both people put themselves in a vulnerable position and... well, I think that's beautiful. It's about trust and making someone you love feel good. I love you and I want to get you there. I want you to feel amazing. And I want to taste you—I want as much of you as possible. When it's with someone special... it feels brilliant. Feeling every response, knowing that I'm the one doing it..."

He trailed off, pressing another kiss against Laurent's head.

"But if you don't like it, it's okay."

Laurent smiled as Gansey spoke, feeling safe, content, and utterly charmed. Gansey's babbling was endearing, and Laurent wanted to memorize every word.

"I like it," he murmured, basking in the contact. "You looked irresistible like that, you know." Smiling, Laurent skimmed a fingertip over Gansey's lips, entranced by everything about him. It was difficult to explain himself, and Laurent wasn't accustomed to sharing his secrets, but he needed Gansey to understand that it wasn't a rejection. "I want more, and I want you. It's only that... I don't always see you. Sometimes I remember, instead, and then... this... is tainted. By pain and fear. I want to erase all that, and paint over it with you, and you, and you, until there's nothing left in my heart but love."

Laurent tilted his head for a soft kiss, smiling as he drew away and put his head back on his lover's shoulder. "Gansey."

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