marlowemuses | Fools in Love, for gentry

He could only pout at that. Not everywhere, he would argue were he not laughing from the tickling fingers, but he had no defense when squirming under Laurent's touch like a puppy. Had he more sense and less distractions he could probably create a compelling defense of how it was merely Laurent that made his skin crawl in the best way but kisses left him defenseless and forgetting why he'd even bother to argue.

There were better uses for his mouth, anyway. Like biting down on his lip because his hands were preoccupied with stroking through Laurent's hair, and sighing. Not to mention the king of the list: kissing. Warm, soft things that left him dazzled. Stars, there were stars and he was no longer looking anywhere near the window.

"A curious affliction," he mused lowly, leaning up on one elbow as he curled a lock of blond hair around one of his fingers. Curving his hand, he brushed his index finger along the shape of Laurent's jaw, rubbing underneath the man's chin affectionately.

"Perhaps prolonged exposure may help ease the ache?"

Playfully, he pushed Laurent and rolled him over so that their positions were reversed, with Gansey the one on top. He held himself up by bending his arms, hanging taut over the other man so as not to make him uncomfortable by putting too much weight on him.

The sincerity of Laurent's comment, however, was not lost on him. In his new position he could nudge his chin up and press a tender kiss against his bethrothed's forehead. Then drop it, bumping their foreheads together.

"I'm happy to hear that. Is that too selfish?"

[Laurent's hinted at it before, and it's warned for in his profile, but--warning for mentions of past sexual abuse.]

Laurent tensed slightly as Gansey flipped them, heart stuttering for a moment with blind panic to find himself trapped under another body. His breath quickened, eyes going unfocused, but the kiss to his forehead grounded him almost immediately, bringing him back into the moment, this moment, with Gansey.

Hooking his arms around Gansey's neck, Laurent held him a little too tight, breath still coming in quick, scared little pants. "It's not too selfish," he said, pushing lightness into his voice although it still came out a little too unsteady. "I like it when you're selfish. I've already told you that I like my men bold and that I think you ought to be more selfish. At least when it comes to me."

His heart was pounding. Fear and affection blurred, though Laurent kept his gaze locked on Gansey's face, determined to keep himself here, with the man he loved. He didn't want to lose himself in nightmares, not in a moment as perfect as this.

The intensity of the moment overwhelmed him, making him feel claustrophobic, and he shoved at Gansey, pushing him off and to the side, just enough to give himself some space.

Recoiling slightly, Laurent shuddered, breath coming in shaky pants as he recovered from his own personal terrors.

It was not a reaction he had been expecting. When he felt Laurent push at him, Gansey slid away immediately, not wanting to push or take things too far. He didn't know where Laurent's limit was. What confused Gansey the most was how the man almost seemed... frightened. Which was why he gave Laurent the space he had sought, only reaching out to rub his hand against the other's back in a soothing manner.

"I'm sorry. That was too much."

He chided himself for getting too randy, watching Laurent cautiously just in case he fell more ill. He was worried for Laurent; concern etched itself strongly across his handsome features. It was distressing to see someone you loved in distress. He wanted so terribly to fix whatever was wrong, but he wasn't sure where to even begin. One thing he hated was being presented with a situation he couldn't instantly take the lead on and solve.

"I won't do that again." Perhaps Laurent didn't like being pressed against? It was his best guess.

"Don't say that," Laurent said. He pushed Gansey down on his back again, more gentle and hesitant this time, uncertain about his own desires. Curling up at Gansey's side, Laurent rested his head on Gansey's chest, hugging his arms around Gansey's waist so he could cling. "I liked it. I didn't know I'd react that way."

Relaxing again once he could simply cuddle and feel safe in Gansey's arms, Laurent traced a fingertip over his lover's chest, thinking over his reaction and how to prevent it from happening again. "I might... that will probably happen again. It probably won't seem to make sense, and I won't know how to predict it. Please don't take it personally and please don't think that I don't want to ... to be with you."

He flattened his palm against Gansey's chest, pressing down firmly and trembling with rage. "I will not let my nightmares keep me from the things I desire. I won't."

Gansey relaxed when Laurent pushed him back down again, watching his beloved as he settled down onto his chest. God, was he beautiful. Gansey was utterly smitten and knew it. Knew it from the way his heart ached when Laurent clung to him.

"I'm not," he said, slowly, picking up his hand so he could settle it gently onto the top of Laurent's head. "I ... understand, I think." He couldn't help but to think of those times when he'd thought he heard a bee, or when something had buzzed too close to his ear. When he'd found one on the window inside the castle one night and tried to keep calm long enough to crush it; Helen had found him creeping up on it, half-panicked, trying to smack it with a shoe. Not to mention the actual panic attacks when he was younger. The cold, confusing feeling. Increased heart-rate and no control over the response.

"Something like it has happened to me, before."

He didn't know what triggered Laurent's response but he could only imagine it was something as deeply ingrained and frightening to him as Gansey's incident as a child had been. Something that gripped, a constant nightmare. He knew better than to ask what it was; he had told Laurent his own fear because he'd made better peace with it in recent years. It wasn't as hard as it used to be, but he had come dangerously close to clamming up, feeling the tiny little legs running up his skin all over again.

"It's okay. We'll take things one step at a time. Nightmares are not conquered in a day." He threaded his fingers through Laurent's hair, brushing them back. "And I'll always be here when you need me."

Laurent didn't entirely believe him, when Gansey said that he'd experienced something similar, but he found it hard to believe that any kind of darkness or fear could ever touch Gansey. Laurent felt tainted, ruined, and feared that he'd soil Gansey just by being near him.

And yet, increasingly, he was starting to believe that Gansey could offer him love and acceptance, and that Gansey's love could redeem him. If Gansey believed he was worth loving, perhaps it was true.

He smiled slightly as Gansey petted at his hair. Affectionate and trusting, Laurent sat up, kissing him softly. His kisses now were softer and more tentative than his kisses of a few moments ago, but he warmed up quickly, unable to help his yearning for Gansey.

Still feeling shaky, Laurent kept the kisses chaste, and after a few minutes he rested his forehead against Gansey's shoulder, thinking over what he needed and wanted. "Will you... just hold me? I... I might panic again, if you do. But I'd like to try."

Soft, chaste kisses were more than okay. When Laurent sat up he curved his hand down to cup his bethrothed's cheek, rubbing his thumb across his fine cheekbone, meeting the kisses with equal gentleness. Gansey would never tire of the way Laurent's lips felt. Luxurious, warm, like how sunlight felt when it hit his skin in the morning, a sunrise that warmed him from the inside out. And, somehow, he felt just as fleeting. Still shaky and nervous, something that could slip away within moments.

"Of course." There was nothing he wouldn't try if Laurent asked. Now that he was more prepared for panicking, Gansey was more cautious, paying attention to what might be warning signs. If he could learn those, even a few, maybe he could help make Laurent more comfotable.

He began slow. Sliding an arm around Laurent's waist to cradle him, keeping his touches light so that the other man could push free if he needed to. Even if he wanted to hold Laurent tightly and not let go, this was not about what he wanted. One day, maybe. Gansey was patient enough to wait for it.

"If anything ever feels like it's too much, tell me. Okay?"

Laurent nodded, nestling into his arms. He turned his back, pressing his spine to Gansey's chest so that he could feel the warmth of Gansey's breath on the back of his neck. It was soothing, and the solid warmth of Gansey's body made him feel safe.

Laurent couldn't remember ever being held like this, not even as a child. His breath was still a little shaky as he dealt with the intimacy and the feeling of being so vulnerable with another person, but he caught Gansey's hand and entwined their fingers, not about to let go.

"Gansey," he murmured, pulling their joined hands up a little so he could press a soft kiss to Gansey's knuckles.

His eyes closed, soothed by the feeling of being held, and his breathing slowed, drifting toward sleep. He was surprised by how tired he felt, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept well, and the much-needed emotional comfort very quickly drew him in, and under.

Gansey did not sleep as easily. It was no fault of Laurent's; if anything, he felt closer to sleep than he ever had before, but it eluded him still. It never came easily to him. An insomniac, his mind kept whirling and buzzing long after it should. Tonight, at least, he had something amazing to study and focus on: Laurent. The way he looked as he slept and the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Light eyelashes curled against fine cheekbones. Their fingers, entwined together.

Even when his arm felt numb he refused to move. Nothing less than an emergency would make him stir Laurent from his slumber. The room grew dark and the shadows grew long. Eventually his breathing slowed and he was lulled into sleep, resting his face into the crook of Laurent's neck.

When the sun began to rise and spread orange and yellow across the sky he began to stir. Not truly wake, just move, rolling away slightly as he slid into a more comfortable sleeping position. Even if he hadn't fallen asleep immedietly the sleep he'd fallen into had been deeper, more satisfying, and he did not want to give it up even when his instincts told him that it was time to get up. Why would he want to, so warm and comfortable? It was never quite so good. This pillow was particularly nice—which was what his still mostly asleep brain rationalized as he nuzzled against Laurent, not used to sleeping with anyone else.

A black bird landed on the windowsill and chirped loudly, flapping its wings.

"Five more minutes," Gansey complained, snuggling against Laurent again.

Half awake, Laurent smiled at Gansey's complaint, pressing closer back against him with a soft sigh of pleasure. He didn't know how long he'd slept, feeling groggy and disinclined to ever move from Gansey's arms.

But he was awake, however much he wanted to stay in this perfect moment. He rolled over, hooking his arm around Gansey as he nuzzled close. He tucked his face against the side of Gansey's throat, tangling their legs together so that he could be as close as possible to his beloved.

Everything he was felt tangled up in Gansey. The world revolved around Gansey, his Gansey, his betrothed. "Tell me we don't have to get up."

"We don't have to get up," he muttered instantly, still quite sleepy as he shifted to accommodate Laurent's limbs tangling with his. Even if he did not know what time it was, Gansey could sense that it was still fairly early. He often rose with the servants. The rest of the family mostly rose hours later, when it was appropriate.

Normally he'd roll out of bed. It wasn't normal, however, that he was tangled with a beautiful creature such as Laurent.

Cracking an eye open, he smiled at his betrothed and stifled a yawn.

"It's tempting to spend the day lounging in bed like this. Do you think anyone would notice if we were missing?" He was half-kidding, but given the chance, he'd probably honestly take it. Planting a kiss to the top of Laurent's head, he buried his nose in the other man's hair, breathing in his scent.

"How should I know?" Laurent asked, voice teasing. "It's your court. I'm just a guest. At least until I marry the prince."

Happy and warm, Laurent shifted against him, tilting his head so that he could steal a kiss. They both tasted stale with sleep, but Laurent didn't care. Kissing Gansey was a much more important priority. "The irresistibly handsome prince who has won my heart." Laurent kissed his nose, taking time to study Gansey's face from up close, wanting to memorize every facet of his eyes.

"You'll have to lend me clothing after all. Someone's sure to notice if I turn up wearing precisely the same garments as yesterday." His smile turned devilish for a moment, fingertips brushing lightly over Gansey's nipple. "Though I can't say I much mind the implications."

"Mm... irresistibly handsome? That's going to go straight to my head."

The kiss to his nose made him grin, gazing down at Laurent with the dimple under his eye deepening. His thoughts were nowhere near getting dressed for the day, but when Laurent mentioned having to borrow some of Gansey's, one of his eyebrows arched gracefully.

"Oh, they would most definitely notice," he agreed, "just as they're going notice that it's my clothing and not your own." Implications he didn't much mind, either. Though what struck him more was the possessive aspect of Laurent wearing his clothes. Marking his scent on Laurent and vice versa.

A shiver ran through his body at the brush to his nipple. God, Gansey liked Laurent's hands, how they felt against him. He closed his eyes for a moment and bit his bottom lip, scraped his teeth back against it before peering down at the other man again.

"Are you sure you won't find my simple, lacing-less fashion boring?"

"Quite on the contrary, it'll be a relief to be able to dress myself. You can imagine what torment it is for me that Veretian fashion requires assistance and I do not like to be touched."

Laurent kept on teasing Gansey's nipple, not yet making the connection to what he'd just said, considering that Gansey's hands had been on him almost constantly for the last day. "But I now have a much, much better way of ensuring that I"m untouchable. No one would dare speak inappropriately to the prince's consort, and I'm safe. I'm safe, and yours."

Laurent kissed him, heartfelt with longing, making a soft little sound of need as he dipped his tongue briefly into Gansey's mouth.

"—Mm..."

He hummed as they kissed, delighting in the little bit of dirtiness of it, opening his mouth to allow that brief dip happily. The continued attention to his chest almost made him squirm; it was an amazing feeling, the touch of arousal with adoration, even if he had no intention of acting on it. Not when Laurent was feeling so comfortable and safe.

"They won't." He had no qualms about confirming that. He stretched, lounging out comfortably, willing to play Laurent's pillow as long as he would have him. The fact that Gansey and Laurent had been touching each other quite frequently was not lost on him, though he decided not to comment.

"Even as a guest of the Queen, no one would dare. She may seem kindly but she's really quite shrewd. Very few people want to cross her." He paused before adding, "They know I take after her, too. So I would say that you are very safe indeed."

The Raven Kingdom might not be Vere, but there were still those with less than pure intentions. They would not want to find themselves on a ship out to the east one morning upon waking, thinking they were still at home warm in their bed.

"So you're also quite shrewd?" Laurent asked, teasing him, watching Gansey's eyes with complete adoration. "I'm glad I'm marrying someone shrewd."

Laughing, he dropped his head to Gansey's chest, brushing a few light kisses and a bite to Gansey's belly before trailing his nose upward and pressing a soft, wet kiss to Gansey's nipple. "Well, if we haven't anywhere to be," he murmured, then experimentally grazed his teeth over Gansey's nipple. "I seem to recall that we were interrupted doing something important last night."

He knew perfectly well that he might spook again, but he wanted to figure out what his own boundaries were and push them, picking apart all his terrors and doubts so that he could be done with them. And, more importantly, he didn't want to take his hands off Gansey.

He wrinkled his nose and then laughed, "When I have to be. Perhaps one day you won't see me acting like a lovestruck fool." That, however, he doubted; it was likely that he would always act like a lovestruck fool around Laurent.

Especially when the man was doing that. He was truly trying the powers of Gansey's restraint. It was impossible from keeping the half-laugh half-moan from slipping past his lips when he felt teeth against his stomach. Both ticklish and enticing.

The feeling of lips and then teeth against his nipple made him arch. Digging his heels into the mattress in a second automatic response, he reached out to drag his fingers through Laurent's hair. Another twang of arousal shot through him and he closed his eyes again, basking in the feeling. It was like he could feel the blood rushing through his veins.

"You'll turn me into a mess at this rate," he sighed, cracking open one eye to peek at Laurent. "I'll have to make them run an ice bath for me."

"That sounds unpleasant," Laurent teased, fingers skimming lower on Gansey's belly while his lips kept kissing their way over Gansey's chest, over to the other nipple. He brushed the tip of his nose against it so that he could still speak fora minute. "Especially when I'm sure there are ways to ... avoid such a fate."

His fingertips brushed the hem of Gansey's trousers just as his lips descended to kiss the other nipple, sucking at Gansey's nipple briefly and then flicking his tongue across it.

Lifting his head with a grin, he let his fingers slide down to the button on Gansey's pants. "May I?"

Most unpleasant. Especially in comparison to the comfortable warmth in the bed they were sharing. Before he could make a comment about that, Laurent teased his other nipple and skimmed the waist of his trousers. The urge to flip them again was strong but he ignored it, focusing on the way it felt like fire was seeping through his limbs. It would probably take several ice baths to put it out. Or pleasuring himself—he wouldn't have minded doing that while Laurent watched, if he didn't want to touch.

"Ah... there... probably are." He agreed in a breathless sigh, voice quite strained as he shifted again. It was very difficult to remain still.

When Laurent lifted his head, Gansey tucked his chin down so he could meet the man's eyes. "Yes," he agreed, looking at Laurent with adoration. "Every little bit of me is yours to do with as you please, my prince." Because as much as Laurent was his, he was Laurent's.

While playing the more receptive role wasn't usually his thing, it felt good, having those fine hands all over him. And, he thought, perhaps the control made Laurent more at ease. He could set the limits of what was too far and what wasn't. Much as Gansey still really wanted to bite one of those pink nipples. Perhaps one day Laurent would allow him to pleasure him somehow; that was something they could work up to.

The control helped Laurent quite a bit. Even though he was more receptive by nature, and knew it, remaining in control, in every way, had always been his way to cope and to survive. The conflict between those two things--what he wanted or needed and what he could cope with--was agonizing, but Laurent was far too stubborn to give up.

"I know," Laurent said, smiling warmly down at his partner. He unfastened the button, letting his hand slip an inch down inside. "But I'm willing to be patient. As much as I loathe being patient. I don't..."

Something flickered over Laurent's face and he frowned, brow furrowing. He pulled his hand away, gaze dropping to the side. "I don't want you to feel obligated. To... to let me."

Reaching out, Gansey cupped Laurent's cheek with his hand.

"The only thing I feel obligated to do is share one meal with my mother a day," he said as he rubbed his thumb underneath Laurent's eye. "I want to be with you." It was a true, honest answer. He wanted to be with Laurent; his body was begging for it, cock already half-hard from the attention to his chest and abdomen. He couldn't remember a time he'd ever gotten turned on so quickly.

If anything, he didn't want Laurent to feel obligated if he wasn't comfortable with the intimacy. Gansey knew how he felt and wasn't afraid of it. He was very, very attracted to Laurent. Wanted him emotionally and physically. And considering that neither of them were young brides with a maidenhead, waiting for their wedding would be based solely on tradition, and Gansey didn't really care too much about that. Only the romantic aspects.

He gave another playful smile, tone turning a touch teasing. "It's all right if you don't want to. I'll just have to take care of myself, then."

Laurent grinned at the teasing, feeling calmed and reassured at once by it. He curled up against Gansey's side, winding his arms around Gansey's shoulders and settling so that he had a good view and could murmur heatedly in Gansey's ear. He liked that idea quite a bit, liked the possibility that if Gansey was comfortable being touched, perhaps he would be comfortable being watched.

"Show me how you like it," he whispered, soft and utterly wicked, and then he caught Gansey's earlobe between his teeth, giving it a light tug to encourage him.

His fingertips skimmed over Gansey's chest again, tracing idle little patterns, impatient with yearning for everything about Gansey.

Gansey was not shy.

Careful, considerate, and cautious. But not shy. When Laurent whispered in his ear light that he swallowed thickly, throat feeling quite raw. His heart felt like a drum, beating in his chest, like it might explode.

Wordlessly he pushed his trousers down, revealing softer, paler skin. Peeling it open, he drew his cock out of his undergarments, rubbing his thumb down into the top of it. His cock was about six inches long and curved, growing with the erection he was beginning to sport. The hair at the base was curly and darker than the hair on his head.

He closed his eyes again, sighing as he worked his fingers against his cock. Working along the sides in slow, long thrusts, rubbing his index finger against his slit and a spot close to his slit that was particularly sensitive. The noises he made were soft, lips parted hungrily as he opened his eyes again and turned his head so that he might look at Laurent's face while he fondled himself.

Laurent gave him an adoring smile in return, turning wicked near the end as his fingers found a nipple and tweaked it. Then he ducked his head, keeping his lips close to Gansey's ear. Unseen, but with his voice a hot, steady murmur.

"Slower," he coaxed, nose brushing against the shell of Gansey's ear. Even if he didn't touch, that didn't keep him from teasing. His fingers skimmed circles around Gansey's nipple, avoiding touching it and building anticipation for when he might again give it a flick--seemingly at random, then returning to his teasing circles.

He murmured in Gansey's ear, giving instructions to make Gansey tease himself, slow at first and then faster, watching every detail and relishing the power of sharing in Gansey's pleasure.

Before long, he couldn't resist, snaking his hand down and wrapping it around Gansey's shaft, taking over the task and using some of the techniques that he'd seen Gansey favor, along with a few of his own to see what worked best and how best to wring more of those sweet noises from Gansey.

Fascinated, he forgot to keep murmuring, forgot to keep his face hidden with his lips against Gansey's ear. He watched, riveted, as his own hand stroked Gansey's length, and then his eyes wandered up to see the pleasure on Gansey's face. When he found Gansey watching him in return, Laurent blushed, eyes dropping and hand pausing for just a moment before he resumed.

He listened to Laurent's instructions as he gave them. Slowing when told, teasing himself while Laurent continued to rub his chest. It was difficult to keep himself paced and following the instructions given to him when he was getting so wound up; his breathing was labored and skin flushed. He dug his heels into the sheets again, pushing one flat and forward, swallowing thickly and chewing on the inside of his mouth when it started to feel particularly good.

When Gansey felt Laurent's fingers wrap around his shaft he groaned, erratic soft noises escaping him before he had the chance to curb them. It was starkly different than his own hand. Knowing, for one, that it wasn't his. Laurent's hand felt different than his own, calloused in different ways, slight differences in shape and grip.

Much as he wanted to keep looking at Laurent's face, he couldn't. His eyelids flickered and he rolled his head back, brow creased with pleasure. Lips pursed, then parted, gasping out Laurent's name as he pushed his shoulders back against the pillows. He'd pulled his own hand back when Laurent began touching him, curling his fingers into the sheets instead. Desperately, he wanted to touch Laurent, but he didn't want to push him. It was an intimate moment and grabbing might put Laurent off.

Instead, Gansey turned his head again and opened his eyes, looking at the other man with widened pupils. "Kiss me," he begged, dying for more yet forcing himself to stay in check.

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