marlowemuses | Lessons

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Lessons

Wei Wuxian had lost hope, but his pride had yet to falter.

The Wen Sect had attacked the Lotus Pier, using Wei Wuxian’s bad attitude as their excuse. He’d lost his home and his foster parents, such as they were, and Jiang Cheng had been bent on revenge. It had ended with them here, branded as traitors to the government. He didn’t know what had happened to Jiang Chen, but he assumed that his fate was much the same.

Time had blurred for him, though the unmarked stretches of time formed a pattern. There was the cold gray cell with the propaganda television upon the wall, proclaiming virtues and sins, and the Wen Sect’s superiority over all. There was the processing room, with the bureaucrat who explained his situation. He was now the property of the state. Because of his youth and his appearance (“Oh, are you saying I’m pretty? You’re not really my type, I don’t really go for lump-faced brown-nosers like you…”), he had the opportunity to be a helpmeet, if he would agree to yield to the training.

Wei Wuxian expressed that he was enjoying their hospitality so very much, he could not possibly wish to leave.

And then there was the torture, which went on for hours, until he wept and screamed. They explained to him that this was still a merciful torture, which left no damage. He still had the opportunity to become a helpmeet. He could serve an honorable clan and be well-treated. (“Oh, are you saying I can be someone’s bitch? I hope they’re prettier than you.”)

After the third round of this, they had informed him that this was his last chance. His last offer. If he would yield to the training and accept his role as a helpmeet, he would be fed and given soft clothes and allowed to rest. If he did not yield, he would suffer far more excruciating torture, and then he would be given the opportunity to enter a work camp or to labor in a mine. The more painful torture would leave him capable of work, but it would leave marks. He would no longer be pretty. (“You really are fixated on me being pretty! I understand that you are in love with me, but really this is no way to go about a courtship!”)

They threw him back in the cell.

Wei Wuxian had some regrets about his insubordination. It would perhaps not be the worst thing to be a helpmeet (especially if he was given to a pretty girl who wanted him as a stud!), but he could not endure yielding his pride and kneeling before some stranger. He did not want to become some mindless, simpering automaton. But the alternative was being tortured until he broke or died. Wei Wuxian was shameless, but he was very proud. He decided that he would be tortured to death before he broke and pleaded for mercy.

The next day, he was brought to a new cell. It was not at all what he expected. It was very large and very white, with a great many lights beaming down from the ceiling. There, they made him kneel in the middle of the floor, and chained his cuffs to a ring in the floor behind him so that he could not slump or stand. Wei Wuxian did not mind this so much. He was accustomed to kneeling.

In front of him was a large mirror that took up the whole wall. He suspected that it was a one-way mirror, so that whoever was on the other side of the glass could watch what happened in the room. Probably Wen Chao, he thought. It would be just like him to want to watch Wei Wuxian’s humiliation and torture, and to not do it himself.

He was left there for a long period of time. At least an hour, but he yet again had no way to tell how much time was passing. This seemed strange to him. Surely this was not the new, worse torture they had promised, and he had not yielded or agreed to cooperate, so there was no reason that they would take mercy on him.

Eventually, the door opened behind him. Wei Wuxian was very curious, so he twisted around to look. It was Lan Zhan!

This was a surprise. Lan Zhan was as flawless as ever, in his white GusuLan Sect clothes that looked like he was in mourning. He looked upright and dignified, so he was certainly not a prisoner here. As far as Wei Wuxian knew, the Lan Sect was still held in esteem by the Wen Sect and the government.

They were not exactly friends. Lan Wangji had never liked him, even though Wei Wuxian was always friendly to him and they had even fought together. Lan Zhan was still too uptight, and Wei Wuxian supposed that Lan Zhan found him inappropriate and annoying. He’d said as much! Almost half the words that Lan Zhan had ever said to him were things like ‘ridiculous’ and ‘pathetic’. Wei Wuxian considered him an ally, and would even have trusted Lan Zhan in most situations, but this was not a good situation. He couldn’t think of any good reason why Lan Zhan would be here, unless he had come to take part in Wei Wuxian’s humiliation.

“Do you work for the Department of Re-Education now, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asked, making his voice light and flippant, as though he had not been exhausted, starved, and tortured for days.

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"Mn. I found her when I went searching for you. I couldn't find you anywhere. I brought her back because it was too dangerous for her to remain there. I went looking for you again."

Lan Zhan eats slowly, using chopsticks to lift one dumpling at a time. It seems his hunger pangs was too great, so food light as it is becomes settled in his stomach until he had enough.

"..." He drinks his tea. He was trembling from revisiting his memories, suppressing his grief and despair as searching for him for miles on foot and dragging the traumatized donkey out of his own kindness to give her a home, and afterward have the juniors to look after her as he continues his search.

When he's done, it's time for bed which he goes to collapse on. Too exhausted. He missed this bed, which is more roomier and comfortable than those terrible beds in the center. Within the blanket and sheets, with the scent of sandalwood, incense, and books that is shelved throughout his home.

On the bed now, he whispered softly, "Come lie with me, Wei Ying."

Wei Ying eats the dumplings, and the apples, and the tea, and he thinks of his donkey.

He is quiet and withdrawn, remembering the things that happened before the re-education center, the things that belonged to another man entirely. He is no longer that Wei Wuxian. He is not sure if he ever will be again.

When Lan Zhan asks for him, Wei Ying sets down his chopsticks. He isn't sure if it's obedience or desire that drives him. If nothing else, he supposes, it is cowardice. He has no energy to have this quarrel now, if there is a quarrel to be had. At some point, he thinks, he may find out whether he is allowed to tell Lan Zhan 'no'.

For now, he goes to the bed. He is tired and cold, and he wants physical and emotional comfort. Lan Zhan provides both. Wei Ying nestles into his arms.

With a full belly, with Wei Ying nestled in his arms, curling up with him on the bed, his own bed, keeping him warm, at last something in his mind feels safe, that is registered they're both safe at last to express their deeper longings and yearnings. He can finally sleep in peace. Being a swordsman for most of his life, there's always that reflex of wanting to attack others, but suppressing his anger and rage, not wanting to commit violence, and get them both hurt, especially his Wei Ying. He can finally rest.

Slender fingers stroke through Wei Ying's hair and rubbing his back, eyes closed, heavy with sleep, about to drift off. In the quiet of the night, he whispers to him, speaking from his heart, to warm the cold within Wei Ying that is resisting him.

"You are here in Cloud recess at last. I want you here with me, my Wei Ying."

Wei Ying hugs his arms around Lan Zhan's neck, but he does not reply. Nuzzling his face against Lan Zhan's shoulder, Wei Ying clings close to him.

They are in the re-education center. They are free, and safe. Wei Ying isn't sure what is real.

Only Lan Zhan exists. Only Lan Zhan matters.

Wei Ying does not speak or reply, because there's nothing to say. Whatever his master wishes is law. His master wants him here, so he is here.

He sleeps fitfully, clinging tight to Lan Zhan whenever he wakes and finds that his arms have loosened.

Over the course of the next few days, Lan Zhan tries to build a familiar routine and rebuild their lives together. He was anxious since he was used to managing in a small cell, centering their training toward to passing the tests, and sometimes for pleasure to past time. Now that he's home, he moves about freely, and even hums his songs.

Now that he's home, with a family of his brother and neighbors in his community to help, there are many changes since Lan Zhan remembers. For one thing, dressing the Lan clan usual white robes is no longer allowed and is now banned. The library is no longer accessible as his brother and uncle has long hidden them safe and sound as now it's against the law to harbor religious and ancient text and wearing religious clothes. His people still wear the headband, though now cut short without the flowing tails. Instruments are still allowed but only to play music about nature, poetry and patriotic songs, and not for cultivation purpose, but Lan Zhan ishappier when he was given a new guqin to play his music in his home.

Everyone wears either a military uniform or civilian clothes. His people call each other brothers and comrades as part of the state's everyday language and a red armband to represent the party that is now the ruling political power. In the morning, there's a military drill and playing the state's new national anthem that can be heard over Cloud Recessess. Then going to the classes to teach the laws and philosophies to reshape their clan and their minds, though no one has reportedly been tortured or punished as the Gusu people are a gentle people.

Wei Wuxian is the only registered helpmeet in the village as Lan Zhan's political position as the second heir has been recognized and restored. He becomes a dipolmat, second-in-command for the clan alongside his brother. It was rumored that Wei Wuxian was dead, but it turns out he is alive and well as the clan has seen Wei Wuxian follow after his Master Lan Wangji as a lowly helpmeet.

The Gusu Lan Sect people are known to be respectful and always said a kind word, so Wei Wuxian was still addressed as brother Wei Wuxian by his courtesy name, with the juniors calling him Senior Wei. With a knowing that he's Lan Zhan helpmeet, nobody said anything cruel, but they often looked at Lan Zhan and at him with a measure of pity. For the most part, as to the true nature relationship, they left that alone, not wanting to be the end of Lan Zhan's legendary temper.

During this time, Lan Zhan never asked him for sex or pleasure. He gives him simple instructions, simple tasks and chores to do, step by step to rebuild their lives, and was sure to say kind, gentle words to warm his heart. One night, when all is calm, and he felt like he is ready, he calls him over.

"Wei Ying...Wei Ying. Come over here. Ever since that day when we left, we weren't intimate in bed." He hands him a collar. It was a simple black leather collar with a silver ring. "I have it custom made. I want you to wear it around your neck. It's a collar for a helpmeet."

Wei Ying is grateful for the days of quiet and adjustment.

Some of the time he follows Lan Zhan around like a silent shadow. Other times he wanders alone, exploring the new and changed Cloud Recesses. He speaks a little to the juniors of the clan, but avoids questions and simply falls silent and walks away more than once.

There are plenty of quiet meditative places around the Cloud Recesses. They never interested Wei Ying before, but now he is drawn to them. His mind is quiet as he sits there, though sometimes the fear and anxieties build up in him, groundless and confused, mind trying to ask himself questions that never quite form into words or concepts. The confused, silent anxiety is awful, and Wei Ying wanders again until it quiets.

He finds a group of rabbits in a protected area of the forest, and it reminds him of the rabbits he brought to Lan Zhan long ago, when they were studying together as boys. The rabbits soothe his mind, and he spends time with them, smiling a little at their antics.

At night, he always returns to Lan Zhan and the jingshi. He curls into Lan Zhan's arms without a word, never asking for more and never questioning that Lan Zhan has not required sex of him. Wei Ying doesn't feel ready for that just yet, and he's glad to be given time.

Going to Lan Zhan when he was called, Wei Ying sat on the edge of the bed beside him. Lan Zhan offered him a collar with a silver ring. Wei Ying's heart did a confused fluttering that he couldn't understand. It felt both good and bad.

"Yes, master," Wei Ying said, obedient. If his master wished for him to wear a collar or felt that they would be safer that way, Wei Ying had no reason to object.

Lan Zhan noticed the change in his demeanor. He wondered what is he feeling inside, sensing his confusion, but never asked because Lan Zhan has a bit of confusion and disorientation as well. It's difficult for him because it's a sign of weakness and he tries to restrain it.

Though he noticed when Wei Ying tends to wander off, and found him meditating, he never once interrupts him unless it's for class time or meal times or a simple evening together while he's writing or playing music to calm the thoughts that is on their minds, but words is difficult and not spoken out. When they go to sleep, he gives his comforts with kisses and embraces, and whispers his name, but not once desire him until he feels really at home with him.

The idea of having sex again, Lan Zhan was worried if he wanted it or not. It was on his mind until at last, he decided to speak up about it, if they want to try and attempt at being intimate again since the last time they had sex it's back at the center. Now they're both here in his jingshi, his home, and they're both safe and Lan Zhan even added more blankets and pillows on the bed as nights tend to get cold.

"...Mn. Come here. Lift up your hair and I will put it on you." Lan Zhan unbuckles the collar open and placed it around his neck. He fastens in place and made sure it's loose around his neck. "What do you think? I think it looks nice. You can wear it around. When you wear it, you belong to me."

Wei Ying turned and lifted his hair as requested, shivering slightly as Lan Zhan's hands curled around his neck, fastening his collar into place.

"Yes, master," he said, quiet and withdrawn. The collar was a reminder that he was Lan Zhan's property, and had to obey him. It was good to have a reminder. Now that they were away from the center, it was easier to forget his purpose. "Thank you, master."

Wanting warmth and comfort, Wei Ying climbed into Lan Zhan's lap, nestling his head on Lan Zhan's shoulder. He felt safe in the Cloud Recesses, and he was lucky to have such a kind and gentle master.

Some part of Wei Ying wished that he could be more than a helpmeet to Lan Zhan, but that was foolish, disobedient thought. He was nothing but a helpmeet. He was worthless and debased, and his only value was in pleasing his master.

Remembering his duties, Wei Ying kissed at his master's throat. "Do you wish me to pleasure you, master?"

This is different. Much slower. Less worries. There's no tests to train for. No guards. Just the stillness of the jingshi between the both fo them. Outside, it's a calm night with the scenes of the mountains.

With the collar fasten in place, Lan Zhan felt he has a power over him, a desire and need to have power over him, to control him, and the pleasure of being his master. While on the surface, he appears calm and serene during the day, doing his duties and chores, when it comes to bedroom activities, it was his subconscious desire. Wei Ying is more than a helpmeet to him, but it will take time for him to accept the idea such as getting married, but for now...he has to teach Wei Ying he is worth more than that, more than the sun and moon itself. He is his lover.

"...Wei Ying." With a sharp inhale of breath, he slowly kisses him back, both gentle and passionate as his answer. Lips on his lips, his hands wander over his body, craving to touch him, removing his robes to undress him to see his pale skin beneath. Feeling his familiar weight on his lap and his surrender and submission as he places his head on his shoulder comforts him as he willing to give his body to him for his own pleasure.

"You're mine. I always wish you to pleasure me whenever I want you too. But you can also ask what you want of me. I wanted to know. What is on your mind for the last few days? You're very quiet, often thinking to yourself."

Wei Ying goes quiet and still at the question, and he looks away. So much of his thoughts in the past few days have been wordless anxieties. Baseless panic attacks that seem to rise out of nowhere, following no logical pattern that he can discern.

"I..." he swallows, trying to put his thoughts together into a confession. He sits up, leaning back to put some distance between them. "I think we should go back, master," he says, desperately confused and hoping that Lan Zhan can give him answers. "I'm not right. I'm not fully trained. I keep thinking things..."

Wei Ying presses his hands to his face, overcome with guilt and fear. The truths he was taught in the re-education center no longer make sense, but he also knows without doubt that what he was before was wrong, and if he becomes that again he'll be broken again, and taken from Lan Zhan. "Disloyal, ungrateful things. You have to train me. You have to make me into a good and faithful helpmeet who will not think incorrect things like wanting to tell you no and not wanting you to touch me. You have to fix me."

Lan Zhan listened carefully. At first, there's confusion. Then there is pain. Are those thoughts is what has been going through his mind? This is his doing, he's pretty sure of it. The damage has been done, so he's not sure what is there to fix and what needs to be fix.

So Wei Ying's silence means he was deeply troubled since they first left, and by his admission, Lan Zhan is responsible for him to think this way. At first, he allows the distance, and then allows Wei Ying to speak on his mind.

Gently, "Wei Ying... We are never going to go back there, understood? I won't let it happen and I won't allow it to happen to you. I hate that place too much. It is my desire for you to be here with me in Cloud Recesses. I want you here with me. I want you home with me. This is where we belong. There is nothing to fix. You shall always be my helpmeet. But I can..."

He swallowed, his eyes darken with impatience. "I can train you here. You are loyal, faithful, and good to me." It's going to take time for Lan Zhan to train him to think differently, but for now...

Right now, Lan Zhan can't think. He just wants to fuck him right here now, unrestrained. He has been longing to fuck him in his own home. Words can't express how deeply he longs for Wei Ying to be here with him. He could have done so since the first day they move inside of his home, and Wei Ying wouldn't resist, but he loves him and respects him to give some space between them and wait. "Wei Ying, you're fine. I want you...I want to take my pleasure of you. Be here with me."

Reckless with his strength, he took hold of Wei Ying's wrists to pull him toward the bed and pins him on the bed on top of him, kissing him fiercely, pressing his lips on his mouth where he swirls his tongue inside while positioning himself between his legs.

Wei Ying is reassured. They don’t have to go back. Lan Zhan might be hurt more if they went back. That awful, cold, cruel place where they punished Lan Zhan when Wei Ying was wrong. He was foolish to think it. He has to protect Lan Zhan.

As long as he trusts and obeys Lan Zhan, everything will be fine. He was confused, that was all. Leaving the center was disorienting, and the time to think let him get lost inside his own head, thinking that he could be something more than a helpmeet.

Lan Zhan pins him, and Wei Ying’s worries melt away. It’s so much better when he doesn’t have to think, when there’s no choice. He’s Lan Zhan’s comfort and sheath, and he’s good at that. It’s the only thing he’s good for. It was foolish of him to forget. Kissing back at once, Wei Ying massages Lan Zhan’s tongue with his own. His legs wrap around Lan Zhan’s waist, pulling him even closer and grinding against him. Being with Lan Zhan is the best thing he’s ever felt, and that should be proof enough that this is right. He never needs anything else.

Lan Zhan grips Wei Ying shoulders possessively as he pins him on the bed with his weight, his knee sliding upward between his legs to press on his soft cock. He fears Wei Ying will be taken away from him. He won't let it happen. He heard stories of loved ones being snatched away during the night by the government on grounds of arrests. He knew there is some truth in those stories. He won't let anyone take his Wei Ying away from him.

Just like what his father did before for his mother. Whatever crimes his mother did, he did not know. But he remembered his father locked up his mother in this very same house for her protection and shelter her away from the world to keep her safe.

He will keep Wei Ying safe in this house until the ends of his days. Lan Zhan kisses Wei Ying fiercely, nipping his lower lips, and then sank his teeth on his throat, biting him to leave marks.

"Wei Ying. Take this off..." He commanded and in haste strips his robes and layers of clothes off, and seeing a pair of his nipples, he presses his lips on one nub, curls his tongue around and then sucking it wetly while pinching the other to stimulate his sensitivity.

Wei Ying feels so soothed and grounded as his master kisses him. The world makes sense again, and he knows where he belongs. He moans as Lan Zhan bites him, marking him. His owner, his master. Only Lan Zhan matters.

Hurrying to strip off his own clothes and Lan Zhan’s, Wei Yin only just gets their robes open before he’s distracted by Lan Zhan’s mouth on his nipple. He moans loudly, back arching up off the bed, and his hands tug uselessly at Lan Zhan’s clothes, trying to get them off. “Master,” he gasps, cock hard from all the kissing and handling. “I need you. Please, Lan Er-Gege. Please fill me.”

Clothes are now off. So many layers, how cumbersome. Lan Zhan's expression soften with pleasure, his piercing gaze hazed over with lust. They fall in their roles which felt natural where he's in charge of Wei Ying's pleasure and his body is for him alone to use.

"Wei Ying, you're so beautiful. I'm going to protect you. No one will you find you here, I promise."

Lan Zhan is going to fill him with promises. Fill him with passion. Fill him with warmth. Golden eyes molten with lust, he draws out his long tongue to continue to flick at his nipples, sucking on them wetly.

"Mn. Fill you..." He took a moment to fetch the oil from the drawer, slickens up his fingers, then spread his legs. "Open up for me. This hole of yours is mine..."

Through the soft pink hole, he pushes his finger inside to wet his tight wall. He loves feeling his tight heat as he wiggles inside.

As their clothes fall away, Wei Ying sits up a little to admire his master. Lan Zhan was so beautiful, and there was so much strength in his body. Wei Ying admired the grace in every line of his slender, pale body, as though he had been carved from jade.

"Gege," he said, curling gentle hands around Lan Zhan's head as his master sucked and teased at his nipples, drawing little gasps and whines from him.

Wei Ying had missed this, and for once they have no cameras watching. The bed is more than large enough for them both, and the mattress is soft. It's all luxurious and intimate, and for the first time they're truly alone with each other, with no need to perform for any audience.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying whispered, watching him as he drew away to fetch the oil. His own eyes were dark and conflicted, full of yearning, affection, and doubt. But he knew to trust and obey Lan Zhan, and he opened his legs without any hesitation.

Gasping as Lan Zhan's finger entered him after days without being touched, Wei Ying ran his hands over Lan Zhan's chest and shoulders, wanting to be in contact with his master as much as possible.

Lan Zhan has lost some weight, but he still quite muscle toned in his body. There were some past minor abused to his body, but the bruises are long gone and the light scars are healed.

Lan Zhan took a moment to check for any injuries on his helpmeet also. He cares very much for Wei Ying's being. He gently touches him, and through his warm touch, comforts him, so his touches match his words and his promises.

Quietly, "...Wei Ying." He always loved the way Wei Ying calls him gege, whether he's flirting with him or shamelessly calling him for attention, even though nowadays he was quiet and kept his flirtations restrained due to his worries. He wanted Wei Ying to want him, his master.

He wanted to see and hear Wei Ying's pleasure, as his pleasure is his pleasure alone. One finger sinks inside, he adds another finger, and then a third to gently stretch and scissoring inside of him, digging deeper in the tight heat of his walls, coating the walls thickly with the oil, to find his hidden spot, making him feel good.

"How does that feel? Warmer? It's cold in here, hasn't?" As sometimes, the fire to keep his house with heat is inadequate. In the meanwhile, he lay warm kisses on his chest, licking and sucking on his nipples to warm him up. "I'll keep you warm, Wei Ying."

"Yes, master," Wei Ying murmured. Lan Zhan's fingers moved inside him, warm and skilled, seeking out all the sensitive spots inside of him. The tight double ring of muscle at his entrance, the softer, more delicate tissue beyond, and that one impossible spot that made Wei Ying feel as though he was alight. "You always keep me warm."

He felt impatient, wanting to be joined with Lan Zhan yet again. It had been the only thing in the center that had made him feel right, and therefore, certainly, it would make him feel right now. It would resolve all his concern and confusion and make him feel whole.

"Master, I need you," he begged, writhing against the bedsheets as Lan Zhan licked at him, teasing his sensitive nipples. "Please, please fuck me. Lan Zhan. Er-Gege. Please."

It feels automatic when he calls out to him. He wanted to be one with him all the time, every time, every day. Wei Ying is more intoxicating than Emperor's smiles. He felt his own cock harden and throbbing, desperately wanted to be sheathed inside of him.

"Need you too. I always need you, Wei Ying." He murmured. Wei Ying is so cute begging for it. His breathing is shallow, as he guides his cock to his entrance, already slicked and oiled up, and pushed his cock all the way in, claiming him. "Want you..."

"Ah..." So much better when he's inside of him. He tries to be gentle when he stretches him wide with his size as he helps hooks his legs around his hips as he sinks in deeper, minding how delicate he is.

Granting his wish, he starts thrusting inside. "Been too long, Wei Ying...."

Lan Zhan pushes in all at once, and it hurts. Wei Ying’s organs shift to make room, and his body lets down its defenses, accepting him inside. It still stings, but Wei Ying is used to it. His body can take it.

Whimpering anyway, Wei Ying hugs his arms tight around Lan Zhan’s shoulders, pulling him down and keeping him close. He wants to be soothed, to have all his worries melt away, but they’re still there. Lan Zhan is no longer his everything and his only. He has free rein around the Cloud Recesses. He has choices. But not when it comes to this.

Conflicted, and not even sure about the reasons for his conflict, Wei Ying hugs tighter, clinging. He wants it to all be okay if he just trusts Lan Zhan. He wants nothing else to matter. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying repeats, hiding his face against Lan Zhan’s shoulder.

Lan Zhan pushes his cock all the way into his soft insides, and he likes to push hard and deep up to the hilt. He waited for Wei Ying to meld to his shape. He's a tight fit, he discovered. In his embraces, they fit together as one. He has been craving to fuck him ever since they left the center, and now they're home in the jingshi, Lan Zhan's desires become unrestrained. He is free while he has Wei Ying belonging to him.

"...Wei Ying. You complete me." He said. Part of Lan Zhan wondered if he resented him, for capturing him like this. But for now, he feels guilty, but he wants him more than anything. He loves him deeply and madly. He wants to bury his cock inside of Wei Ying and teach him who he belongs to until the end of time.

"You're mine." At that, he starts rocking his hips, pushing the cock inside of his body, in a steady rhythm, his lust completely motivates him, wanting to possess him as they used to fuck routinely back at the center at any given day except Wei Ying isn't drugged right now, and Lan Zhan wants him to be aware that he is his master.

Wei Ying gasps with each thrust, keeping his hold on Lan Zhan tight. It feels so good and right to be filled like this. His body loves it, and the pleasure radiates through him with each thrust. Lan Zhan knows him now, knows just how to drive into him to make Wei Ying arch and whine. He fucks against that sensitive spot inside of Wei Ying, and it makes him want more, so much more.

But his heart and mind remain conflicted, and he keeps clinging to Lan Zhan. He wants to be comforted, and to forget all his worries, but the pleasure isn't enough and that makes Wei Ying all the more concerned that there's something wrong with him that Lan Zhan can't fix.

"Is it no different between us now?" Wei Ying asks, very quiet, and there's nothing in his tone to clarify whether he's asking this as a good thing or a bad thing.

"..." How he longs to do this with him while upkeeping a seemingly normal life to rebuild their lives together. He merely waited, given him plenty of time to meditate with the serenity of Gusu.

He kept Wei Ying pinned down, nearly immobilized him in the same position on the bed. He gathered his wrists to pinned them on both side of his head to assert his dominance as he pressed passionate kisses and bites on his throat to claim him.

"Wei Ying...I think it's different." Lan Zhan answered back in a quiet tone. Part of him doesn't know what else to do other than give Wei Ying the reassurance that they are here, and there's no going back. He gives him a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth and continues to thrusts inside of him, as he craves connection to his body and his heart the most.

Lan Zhan pins his hands, which had always soothed him back at the center. He'd loved being pinned down while Lan Zhan took him. It made him feel so safe. But now he understands that it is different here, because he doesn't feel calmed when Lan Zhan pins him. He feels empty.

Now they are safe, now he can start to think for himself again, but he is still just a possession to Lan Zhan. His role is to offer pleasure, and he cannot say no.

He turns his face away when Lan Zhan leans down to kiss him. His heart and mind is in turmoil, but he has to wait for Lan Zhan to be done using him.

By different, Lan Zhan figured things between them are no longer the same. He didn't want them both to stay at the center. It's a prison and a place to get tortured and beaten. In Gusu, they're home. He wants him here with him and where it's safe, and Lan Zhan has his brother.

He doesn't look at him with love anymore. The first reaction is feeling annoyed and frustrated, but that's him being playful. He wanted to teach Wei Ying he is free here, that he is able to say no. There's nothing to fix. But at the same time, it's a contradiction. That he's a helpmeet and he must serve him.

Lan Zhan's weakness is not being able to express in words. "...Wei Ying." That's all he said. At the moment, it's better to reach his finish and cum inside of him. Which he did after he climaxed because his body makes him feel good.

Even if Wei Ying turns away giving him a cold expression in his eyes, that doesn't kill the mood at all. If anything, Lan Zhan continues to kiss him, loving him tenderly and when he's done, keeping him warm, because there's nothing else Lan Zhan can think of to fix him other than the usual routine.

After he's done, the night is quiet and there's peace as he laid beside him on his bed.

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