marlowemuses | The lonely become either thoughtful or empty

Adam wanted answers, and he still felt that he'd been brought here fairly for a reason, but he didn't know what that reason was and he wasn't about to impose his presence when it had been made inarguably clear that he was trespassing.

Stepping backward through the portal, Adam felt a sense of disappointment and loss. Whatever that had been meant to be, he'd failed.

He thought about it frequently over the next few days, wondering about the cats and the guardian of the portal, and the beautiful, ancient, ethereal place he'd glimpsed. His memories of it were fragmentary, since he'd only had a few brief moments to take in the entrance hall, the magical cats, and the guardian. The latter had seemed young, only a few years older than Adam, and he'd been strong, handsome, powerful, and certain of his purpose, all of which Adam envied.

The gate still waited, beckoning to him, though Adam didn't know what he was supposed to do in order to convince the guardian that he should be allowed within. Whatever test he was supposed to pass, he didn't have any idea how to start.

He wondered whether there were others in that place, or if it was just the guardian and the cats. That seemed lonely, unless the cats were conversational. Maybe even if they were.

When his work with the ley line next brought him near Cabeswater, he found himself walking through a field of blue flowers, and he picked a bundle of them, tying them together with a long blade of grass.

Without really thinking about what he was doing, he walked to the gate, stepped through, and set the bundle of flowers down just inside the threshold before leaving again, not wanting to risk that the guardian would shoot first and ask questions later.

After the intruder had left, Alec was left worrying that there would be others. He set the cats to patrolling, knowing that they'd keep anyone from crossing the borders of his reality. He trained harder than he had in decades, waiting for the one intruder to turn into an army.

But all his fears and cautious seemed to be rewarded by a return to the ordinary. No one tried to sneak into his territory. No one crept into the temple to steal the Cup. Quiet returned, unnerving and as lonely as before.

No matter how often Alec tried to push the thought aside, he couldn't help thinking about the fact that the intruder was the first person he'd heard for centuries. His voice had been the first other than Alec's to break the solitude of the temple since Alec had said his good byes to his family. It was difficult not to fixate on the stranger, to think of how strange it'd been to have a person at the gates. Someone real instead of the magical glimpses of the world that he was allowed.

That thought was one that Alec knew would lead to madness. He'd accepted his fate long ago. Thinking about young men who talked about ley lines and somehow arrived at the gates was dangerous. If he went mad...

He wasn't sure what the Angel would do if Alec went insane, but he knew that he probably wouldn't be allowed to return to the world no matter what happened to him. Even if he was allowed, what good would it do if he was too crazy to enjoy that freedom?

Resigning himself to his duty, he patrolled with the cats, careful not to trip over any of his furry friends. Eventually the circuit of the gardens ended at the gates where one of the cats was batting at something on the ground. Gently shooing the cat to the side, he picked up the flowers. They were different than anything that grew in the garden so Alec knew that someone hadn't slipped past the wards.

Staring at the flowers for a long time, he eventually moved into the garden. Alec knew that he should ignore the gift, but he still picked a blossom, dark purple and obviously not of the mortal world. Returning to the gate, he tossed it through. It might reach whoever had sent the bouquet or it might fade in the real world with no one ever noticing it.

Adam found the flower a day later. It glowed like a jewel on the threshold of the gate, and it was still fresh and pristine. Adam held it carefully to his nose and breathed it in, and it smelled of starry nights and dreaming.

He pressed it between the pages of a textbook in order to save it, and thought more about the guardian of the gate after that. No one had ever given him a flower before, and he was surprised at it after the initial hostility he’d received. And yet he was still wary. It wasn’t certain that it was from the boy with the bow, who had been so ready to shoot him.

Adam had rescued a broken music box from a pile of things put out on a curb to be picked up with the trash, and it only took him an hour to repair it once he set his mind to the task. It played a pretty little melody that Adam didn’t recognize, and the cover of it was badly scratched, but Adam thought the guardian of the gate might like it, if he was unable to visit Adam’s world. He made that his second gift, laying it just inside the entry and then retreating again.

Only after both gifts did Adam feel brave enough to try another encounter with the armed guardian. He stepped inside, sitting down cross-legged on the threshold, and waited to be confronted again by the boy and the cats.

A music box. The intruder had given him a music box. If he hadn't had been able to watch the Mundane world, he wouldn't have known what it was. Even with that knowledge, he was still wary of the thing, almost dropping it when he opened it and it began to play. Music. Real music, not the hollow sounds that he could hear through some of the magical items that had found their way to the temple.

At first he'd thought that the intruder was trying to bribe him, but the box was obviously old. The lid was scratched. If someone truly meant to buy his complacency, they would give him something expensive, not something worn but still special to someone who could not leave the temple.

In the old days, when he was still mortal, Alec would have thought that the gifts were a sign of courting. But that couldn't be true. It had to be a trick even if he hated the idea of the only music he'd heard in centuries was part of a lie.

He was still puzzled over the box when he felt the world shiver again, a warning but not as frightening as before. Like reality was only partially surprised by someone crossing the gates. Sighing, he conjured up his weapons, not sure if he should expect and army or just one person. Jogging toward the gates with the cats following, he slowed when he saw that the intruder was sitting on the border.

The cats milled around Alec, waiting for their companion to decide what to do next. Alec began to speak, ready to order the being away, but the first thing he said had nothing to do with his duty. "Why did you give me the music box?"

Adam was glad that though the guardian was carrying weapons, they weren't being pointed at him with the same immediate threat as his last visit. Nevertheless, he watched the guardian and his cats warily for a moment to make sure that none of them were going to attack just yet.

"I wanted you to be willing to talk to me," Adam said, grateful that it seemed like he'd achieved that for the time being. "I don't know what this place is, but I thought that if you aren't able to come into my world, maybe you'd like a piece of it." It was the best thing Adam had been able to give, since he had so little to offer, but he was glad that it had earned him a few sentences of conversation without any weapons or threats.

"The flowers were from the ley line. I'm bound to it. I am its hands and eyes." Adam didn't specify that was exactly the sacrifice he had made, though it was true. He simply wanted to explain and clarify what he'd said before. He was here because of the ley line, though he still didn't know what his purpose was for being here.

Alec had liked having a piece of the mortal world, which was why this intruder was dangerous. He'd found a way to make Alec curious. It had made him speak instead of act. He was supposed to protect this place and he was having a conversation instead. Even knowing that he should kill or at least run off the intruder, he missed the sound of other voices too much to shove him out the gate immediately.

"This place is between worlds." As he spoke, Alec tried to understand why the Angel would have allowed someone to cross the boundary between the Mundane world to find the temple. He knew that ley lines were connected to the reality he protected, but when his duty had been explained to him, there had been no mention of someone being bound to that power.

He almost asked about the flowers, but he didn't want the being in front of him knowing that he'd ever been outside of the temple. That might give him ideas that more pieces of the mortal world might tempt Alec away from his duty. "Being bound to the line doesn't explain how you found your way here."

"I can sense the ley line no matter where I am. When I'm very near to it, I can see it." In a manner of speaking. Adam suspected that he felt it more than saw it, but that Cabeswater used its connection to his eyes to translate its own existence into something tangible to Adam. "Where the current runs strongest, it appears to me almost like a golden glow. And at the very heart of that current, within days of my sacrifice to the ley line, I began to see this gate. It looks different on the other side, more golden. The same gate lit by the ley line's glow."

It was rare for Adam to be this forthright or detailed about anything. He wasn't sure if anyone--Gansey included--had ever gotten so much information out of him. But in this case, he was certain that the more clear information he could offer, the better he could prove that he belonged here. Wherever here was.

"No matter where I am on the line geographically," Adam drew a line between them on the ground, then arched his thumb and index finger over the imaginary line to indicate the gate. "The gate appears, parallel with the ley line, and centered on wherever I am." He put his other index finger nearby to indicate himself, and then moved both parallel along the track of the imaginary line. "Invitations don't get much clearer than that."

Adam put his hands back into his lap and looked up to see if the guardian could offer elaboration on any of this.

The line had shown the intruder where the temple was. Why would that be allowed? After centuries of guarding this place, why would someone find the temple? Alec wished he knew if what the intruder said was true, but he couldn't see the ley line. He could only see the gates and nothing beyond them. He hadn't been given that gift or curse when he'd been placed at the temple. "All I see past the gates is night." And stars. At least he'd had the stars to look at instead of unending black that would have driven him mad.

Cautiously moving forward, Alec looked at the drawing, scowling as he tried to understand what was happening. Only one living being was supposed to be able to find the gate and she had never visited. "Whether the line invited you or not, you're not the one that's supposed to be here." He wasn't sure what had allowed this being to find the gate instead of the priestess, but the Angel had never said that strange young men would show up.

"Maybe the sacrifice went wrong," he muttered to himself. Persephone brushed against his leg, ears perked up with interest. The intruder wasn't planning on trying to kill him. Unless he was lying, he seemed just as confused by why he was at the temple as Alec was.

Focusing on the intruder again, he tried to find the simplest solution for why the wrong being was here when it was obvious his intruder wasn't planning on attempting to kill him. "You're not the one I've been waiting for. Was there a girl with you? He said a girl would find this place."

Adam's brow furrowed and his cheeks flushed. It surprised him how stung he was by the implication that it wasn't supposed to be him here, bound to the ley line. As if it weren't enough that the ley line had made him increasingly inhuman and unknowable, even the wonders associated with the ley line still found Adam inadequate.

"What do you mean, the sacrifice went wrong?" Adam snapped, a little too loud. "What was supposed to happen?"

A girl. Unless he meant Neeve, which seemed unlikely, he must mean Blue. Finally Adam had something wondrous that belonged to him alone, and as soon as he was through the door the guardian rejected him and asked him to send in his ex-girlfriend.

When the intruder raised his voice, Alec's fingers flexed and a dagger appeared in his hand. The cats stopped their curious weaving, crouching down in case the being attempted to attack. Alec wasn't sure what the creatures would do, but he was certain that they were just as deadly as he could be.

He didn't move, keeping his posture relaxed despite being ready for an attempted attack. Perhaps he'd been wrong about the being not wanting to invade the temple. Maybe the music box had been meant to lull him into inattention. He carefully ignored that minor hurt. He should have known that no one would give him a gift because of kindness. He should have known there'd be a cost for the happiness it had given him. "When I arrived here, I was told a priestess would share my work. No one else was supposed to be able to find this place. It is my duty to protect it from everyone except the chosen priestess."

Adam's defensive anger dropped suddenly at the mention of a priestess, and the surprise showed clear on his face as his blush deepened.

Just a few days ago, Persephone had equated his role to that of a priestess, and said that in ancient times priestesses would tend the line the way Adam was doing now. Having the guardian demand a priestess was too much of a coincidence.

And yet the implication was that he wanted Persephone here, not Adam. A priestess, not a magician.

Looking down at his hands, Adam considered the possibilities, and his own certainty that he was supposed to be here. He had to admit that it was likely that he was only feeling how much he wanted to belong here, and that if a priestess was needed, it should probably be Persephone.

"I have a mentor," he admitted, numbly. "She referred to our role as that of priestesses. She can't see the gateway, but I can try to bring her through."

For a long moment, Alec was silent, watching the being in front of him. His reactions were wrong for someone who was trying to insinuate himself into the temple. He was blushing when he should be indignant. He should be trying to argue his way into Alec's confidence, not offering an explanation of who might be the priestess.

Persephone bumped against his shin, reminding him that he needed to speak. "Your mentor referred to you both as the priestesses?" he asked slowly, trying to compare that information with what the Angel had said. "If she can't see the gate, then she isn't the priestess." Which meant that this being could be the person that was meant to find the temple despite not fitting the mental image that the Angel's words had given him.

"Why did you make a sacrifice to the ley line?" he blurted out, not sure why he'd asked but he had the feeling the answer might be important.

"My friend is seeking King Glendower," Adam said, careful and wary. He didn't like giving this much information, but it seemed reasonably certain that the boy in front of him was a guardian, not an antagonist. "We had hoped that waking the ley line would help lead the way to him, but there were others trying to wake the ley line for their own power. One of those others murdered a friend of mine, and came very close to killing all of us. We had been told that the ley line would wake, and there wasn't much time."

Adam kept his eyes down, shoulders hunched defensively, still aching with the rejection of not being wanted here. "I sacrificed myself to live for the ley line so that no one else would die for it."

"This place has nothing to do with a king." The name wasn't familiar. If Alec wanted, he could find information on him later, but that search had nothing to do with the temple. Which made it strange that this being had arrived here.

"If your friends do find a way here..." He left the rest unfinished, his tone soft despite the implied threat. "I guard this place and from the sound of it, those others should never be allowed in this place." Alec still wasn't certain about this stranger, but at least he wasn't willing to kill to wake the ley line.

"If you offered your life, then you understand what these places want as sacrifices." Alec had done something similar for his siblings. That probably made him less cautious than he should be, but he wasn't sure why one person who had made the kind of sacrifice would be able to see the gate and not the others unless they were meant to find the way to the temple. "I was told that a priestess would find the temple, but maybe that was too literal. The world's changed, hasn't it? Roles aren't so easily defined now?"

"The world's always changing," Adam pointed out. He wasn't surprised that Glendower wasn't here, though it was only once he realized it that it seemed obvious that he should have hoped for or expected Glendower to be here. And yet he'd never mentioned the gate to Gansey or any of his friends. Glendower belonged to Gansey, but this place belonged to Adam.

He didn't like the implied threat against his friends, and lifted his head to give the guardian a defensive glare, even as the guardian softened and seemed to be accepting him here. "I told no one else about the gate. The ley line brought me here. What does it mean, being your priestess?"

"This part of it rarely does." If it was even part of the world now. Alec felt so isolated from mortals that he wasn't sure if he really had any connection to that part of the universe anymore. No one was left who remembered him. If there were stories about his choice, it was myth by now, thought to be fiction without any hint of truth. "You're the first change this place has seen in centuries."

He managed a weak smile when the being said that no one else knew about the gate. "Good. I don't want to hurt anyone, but the rules of this place are strict." Alec almost told the being the reason but until he was certain that he really trust him, he still had to be careful.

"I don't really know what the priestess is supposed to do. I was just told she - " He should probably quit saying she. "Uh... The priestess would eventually find a way here. What did your mentor say you were supposed to do?"

"I maintain and restore the ley line," Adam explained. He got carefully to his feet, figuring that maybe he was allowed to stand up now that the guardian was willing to consider his qualifications. "My name is Adam Parrish."

He took a step forward, but no further. Whatever this place was, he belonged here. They were tentatively agreed on that now.

"It's your turn. Who are you, and what is your role?"

"There's something wrong with the ley line?" Alec hadn't noticed anything wrong with his domain. The edges of it seemed just as solid as it had been when he'd been brought to the temple. There'd been no strange occurrences except the stranger suddenly appearing at the gate. As the being - Adam - stood, Alec dismissed the dagger in his hand. The weapon faded away, ready to appear again if he needed it.

"I'm Alec." It seemed strange to say his name aloud. He sometimes spoke to the cats, introducing himself when a new one appeared, but that was the only time his name mattered. "I guard the Temple." And its contents but that wasn't something he would admit during their first conversation.

Even if his cats seemed to be warming up to the stranger. Arching an eyebrow at his favorite, he sighed as she began inspecting Adam's shoe. "Persephone, be nice." She probably would be or she could claw him. Alec wasn't sure how any of his pets would react to having someone new in their territory. "They're not used to peopel either."

"My mentor's name is Persephone, too." Adam bent a knee and offered her his knuckles to sniff. "I would not be surprised if you were the same person. Did you make sure to tell me the term you knew he needed to hear?" he asked the cat. This Persephone was dark where his Persephone was pale-haired, but he still half expected the cat to transform into his friend.

"I don't think there have been any priestesses in centuries. No one at all tending the ley line. It's weakened and gone feral, like an overgrown garden or a polluted river."

Curious about his host and their exchange of information, Adam looked up at Alec, studying him. "This is a temple? And there's an ... angel?"

"Persephone seemed appropriate considering - " He gestured vaguely, not sure if Adam would understand. Even when he was part of the mortal world, his family and friends had considered his thoughts strange. Persephone seemed to think Adam was acceptable and bumped her head against his hand. "She does disappear occasionally, but I never thought she might have a connection to the mortal world except maybe to chase mice." He wasn't quite sure if she could be a person and a cat since she'd been with him for a long time, but it could be possible.

"I've never met a priestess. I was just told that one would find the temple." After waiting for so many centuries, Alec had assumed that the temple had been forgotten. "I don't have the ability to tend the line or to even see it. I can't see beyond the gate." That wouldn't be dangerous to admit. He still had ways of observing the mortal world so it wouldn't give others an advantage.

One of the other cats rubbed against his leg and Alec absentmindedly picked her up. Emily curled up against his chest and started to purr. "There was an Angel. He chose me to stay here. He's the one who told me that eventually the priestess would find a way here. It's a temple, but it's grown bigger over the centuries. There's gardens too, but I think those are for me not the temple."

"You can't leave here?" Adam asked. Persephone nuzzled at his hand, so he patted and scritched at her accordingly, learning how to pet a cat relative to how she responded. He wasn't very familiar with interacting with animals, never having had any of his own, but he liked befriending the cat. "You're alone here? For how long?"

It seemed strange to him knowing that this guardian was meant to keep solitary watch over the gate. Adam still didn't know why. It seemed to him that the powerful and dangerous parts of the ley line were on the other side of the gate.

Standing again and leaving Persephone, Adam moved a little closer to Alec, amused by the happy kitten against his chest. "So I'm your priestess, but neither of us knows what that means?"

"No, I can't." He tried not to think about it. Usually he didn't. There were enough distractions to keep Alec busy most of the time. Thousands of books. Glimpses of the mortal world. The gardens and the cats... it was lonely but he'd learned how to live with the solitude.

Watching Persephone teach Adam the spots that she preferred to have petted, he decided that he could trust the new priestess with some of the story of the temple. He'd omit the details related to the Cup and Sword until he was sure that he was meant to allow the priestess access to those relics. "How long? Do you mean how long I've been here or how long I must stay here?" Alec didn't really want to answer either question, but he would if it would help Adam understand the temple and Alec's connection to it.

When Adam stepped closer, Alec automatically took a step back, slightly disorientated by having someone who was bigger than a cat near him. Giving himself a mental shake, he forced himself to remain in one place, focusing on the feeling of Emily's fur against his fingers as he tried to get used to Adam's presence. "There might be an answer somewhere in the temple, but I don't have one. Or I forgot it. Sometimes... things blur together and it takes time to focus on them again."

"Okay," Adam said. It seemed achingly lonely that Alec had been here so long that time and reality blurred for him, and that seemed concerning. Adam looked around, wanting some clue or obvious path but seeing nothing.

"I can't stay for more than a couple hours," he said, since he was still tied to the passage of time and his mortal responsibilities and he figured Alec should be made aware of things like that. "I have work tonight."

Alec didn't seem to know where they were supposed to begin, and Adam didn't want to invite himself into parts of the temple that Alec wasn't ready to offer, so he just hunched his shoulders defensively, stuffed his hands into his pockets, and eyed Alec to see what Alec thought should be done next.

"A few hours is more than I expected." Alec hadn't really thought that Adam would want to stay. He might be the priestess, but if someone could leave, why wouldn't they? The priestess wasn't tied to the temple the way Alec was. "I -" He wanted to say that he appreciated the company but he didn't know how to say it without sounding like he resented his duty. He didn't. He'd made his choice but it was lonely.

"Why do you have to work? If you're the priestess you should be given tributes for your service." That was how it had worked in the past. Those who tended the temples were given the resources they would need or there were tithes to help the priestess maintain the sacred places.

Noticing how uncomfortable Adam seemed, Alec forced a smile as he gestured toward the gate, causing Emily to grumble. "You can go, if you want. I don't mind if you don't want to stay." He would mind, but not because of duty. It would be for selfish reasons. No matter how much the idea of company appealed to him, he wouldn't demand that Adam stayed. "You might be bound to the ley line but this isn't a duty that you chose."

"Changing times," Adam answered. "No tributes. No one but you--and my mentor--recognizes me as a priestess. If I were to advertise my connection with the ley line, I'd make myself a target for people who want to manipulate it and me."

He was a little puzzled by how lightly Alec seemed to dismiss him, after all the effort Adam had gone to in order to get here and get Alec to talk to him. "I want to stay. I don't know anything about my 'duty' here. If you have information about my role, I'd be grateful for it."

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