angelic_archer: (Downcast)
Alec Lightwood ([personal profile] angelic_archer) wrote in [community profile] marlowemuses2018-12-29 09:32 pm

Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Alec had known that after the wedding disaster, he wouldn't be in his parents good graces. Robert had stuttered some attempts at either trying to be supportive or questions about how Alec had suddenly become gay. Those encounters were awkward, but they were tolerable most of the time. He hated how relieved Robert seemed now that Magnus was gone. He probably thought without the 'corrupting influence' of Magnus, Alec would become the good son again.

Maryse was more difficult to deal with. There was no attempts at understanding. She was furious at him for humiliating the family in front of the most important Shadowhunters. The ones that she was trying to manipulate for favors. As usual, her anger spilled out in harsh critiques of her older children. Whenever he could, Alec took the worst of it to save Izzy. This time the lecture covered a wide range of subjects.
His inability to control his siblings or Clary. The wedding. Magnus. He took it all silently, letting her question all of his decisions, his talents, his ability to lead. It was all things Alec had heard before but they still cut deeply.

Standing at parade rest, he silently waited for the lecture to end, clenching his jaw to keep himself from arguing with her or trying to defend himself. It wasn't until she mentioned being assigned to Adam that he finally spoke. "The Clave thinks that I'm capable of protecting him and so does he."

"What does a Mundane know?" she snapped. "You couldn't even keep the Fairchild girl safe. You did your best and it almost got her killed, Alexander. Do you believe we should take that risk with someone who can restore the Institute to its proper glory?" He continued arguing, but he knew it was a losing battle. Mayrse was planning on having him replaced. Probably with Jace and there was nothing he could say to prevent her from going to the Clave to request someone else be Adam's bodyguard.
hondoyota: (Default)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-01 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)

“I always have another assignment,” Adam said, with a rueful smile. It was a relief to have Alec clothed again, and Adam felt a little more capable of coherent thought. He pulled his knees up a little, making space on the bed for Alec to sit. “This is important, too. Are you comfortable with us talking freely here?”

He’d noticed how careful Alec was with what they say and where, and he trusted Alec’s lead on this, but he didn’t know if simple walls provided privacy around Shadowhunters.

hondoyota: (uncertain)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-01 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
“I appreciate that,” Adam said, eyes lingering on Alec. He set his book aside and crossed his legs, sitting forward, though he put the Codex on his lap instead, not trusting his body to behave itself while sitting on his bed next to his crush. “Do you want to ask questions, or do you want me to just talk?” he asked, then immediately thought of something Alec should know that Adam hadn’t yet had a chance to tell him. “I should tell you—I’m completely deaf in my left ear.”
hondoyota: (wary)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
Adam was impressed by his attention to detail, and surprised how little it bothered him that Alec could read him so easily. “I should have mentioned it. It’s tactically important.”

His fingers traced over the book, thinking about what he wanted to know. “This will answer most of my questions.” The things he wanted to know were all more intangible. Do you still think about your warlock? Do you keep in touch? “Why is it,” he asked, voice quiet as he secured the question that he wanted to know, “that you’ve encouraged me to work for your organization, even though you’ve made clear that you don’t trust them?”
hondoyota: (defensive)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
Adam watched him with shy, lingering glances. He appreciated how respectful Alec was of Adam’s secrets, and was amazed by how easily Alec trusted him despite those secrets. It impressed him how much Alec noticed and correctly surmised. He was as intelligent as he was skilled, remarkable in every way, including his loyalty, and ferocity, and gentleness. Adam thought about kissing him, and how easy it would be to lean forward and taste Alec’s lips. But that wouldn’t be fair to Alec, who already carried so many burdens. Adam wasn’t about to ask him to carry the burden of being gentle with Adam’s crush.

“You’re going to be Head of the Institute,” Adam said, after a long and thoughtful pause. “And you’re going to use that power and stability to be a force of balance to the Clave. It’d be easier to disown it, or even to destabilize it. But you’re going to work tirelessly to make it better.” To protect Izzy and Jace, and Adam, and his Institute, and the city. Maybe even to protect the Clave itself. Adam didn’t understand it, but he saw it clearly in the way Alec handled duty. Loyalty went hand in hand with his sense of fairness and justice.

He was a different kind of king than Gansey, but Adam saw that same nobility in him. Alec was born to lead, and Adam wanted earnestly to belong at his side. The thought was followed immediately by the wrenching reminder that he no longer had a place at Gansey’s side. Alec would put him aside just as easily, when his warlock came back, or whenever the next love of his life came along. Sooner or later, Alec would realize that his path didn’t need Adam as anything but the magician beneath his Institute.
hondoyota: (unreadable)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
“I don’t react well to threats,” Adam acknowledged, because he hadn’t reacted very well, and they’d fought. “But l don’t want you to be sorry for it. That threat made me respect you. I was impressed. You’re formidable.” His hands strayed restlessly over the cover of of the book, then crept forward to pluck at the bed. His fingers wouldn’t stay still, but Adam didn’t care as long as they kept from touching Alec.

“My friend Gansey—my best friend—was on a quest to find a dead Welsh king, said to be sleeping on the ley line. We thought to wake it up, to lead us to him, but it was more complicated than that. More dangerous than that. And there were others who wanted to wake the ley line, to take advantage of its power. We all knew that it took a sacrifice to wake the ley line.” Adam’s expression was distant as he spoke, gazing at a spot on the bed between them. “The others, they thought that meant murder. My Latin teacher... he murdered one of my friends. Would have murdered more of us, probably. Ronan and Gansey. None of them understood what sacrifice meant. So I did what had to be done.”

Adam turned over his hands, gazing at the palms. “I sacrificed myself.”
hondoyota: (vulnerable)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
Adam stared at the hand, and then, more warily, at Alec. No one had offered him validation for what he’d done. Adam still believed that it had been necessary, and didn’t regret any of it. But he also still remembered Gansey’s face, and the sorrow on it. All of them had expressed regret and worry, and they’d all been careful with him after that, once he’d become strange and dangerous. Validation was alien to him.

Still staring at Alec’s hand like it was some kind of feral animal, Adam moved his own hand, touching his fingertips to Alec’s palm. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, but his hand decided for him, choosing contact. Alec’s hand was warm. Adam felt his cheeks heat, and he very carefully didn’t look up, afraid that the compulsion to kiss Alec might be overwhelming if he did.
hondoyota: (wary contemplation)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
“It’s the same ley line,” Adam explained. “I already have the connection to it. No more sacrifice needed, aside from the ongoing sacrifices of time and effort. The work required to restore it.” That was what sacrifice meant to Adam, after all. Time and effort. He was giving his life for the ley line a day at a time.

Looking up at Alec with a thoughtful, inscrutable expression, Adam studied him for a minute. “What do you want?” he asked, simply, wondering what desires Alec had sacrificed. He cared about Alec now, and wanted to know about the things Alec wanted, and to see if any of those things were within Adam’s power to grant.
hondoyota: (downcast)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
Adam took his hand back when the answer Alec gave him was little better than a platitude. He didn’t go far, simply resting his hands on the bed between them, still near to Alec’s hand.

All the same, he couldn’t fault Alec for it. Adam had spent all his life focused on surviving and building something above and beyond mere survival. He’d had no time for fun or relationships. He hadn’t had time for friends, either, but Gansey’s friendship was valuable enough to him that he made compromises for it.

“You know there’s an inherent contradiction in that?” Adam asked, and as soon as he said it, he wished he hadn’t. It was one of those things that always started fights with Gansey, Adam’s unwillingness to accept hypocrisy. But since he’d said it, he had to elaborate. “What’s best for your parents versus what’s best for the Institute. Your duty as a Shadowhunter versus keeping your siblings safe.” He paused, wishing again that he hadn’t crossed that line.
hondoyota: (resentful)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 07:27 am (UTC)(link)
Adam glared at him, annoyed by the tone but more annoyed by Alec’s conclusion. It took him a moment to figure out how to put words to what he found so unacceptable about Alec’s statement. “It is the role of the crown to choose,” he argued. “Selfish or unselfish, you have to choose between conflicting duties. You cannot avoid choosing just by sacrificing more and more of yourself.”

He clenched his fists, annoyed at himself for picking this fight and not letting it go. But the idea of Alec not allowed to have anything that he wanted made him furious. It dug under his skin, reminding him of all the times he’d been called selfish and ungrateful for wanting anything for himself. He couldn’t stand the idea of someone treating Alec like that.

“I think it’s admirable that you made that choice,” Adam snapped, looking away with a bitterness that didn’t seem to fit his words. “It must have taken a lot of courage.”
hondoyota: (vulnerable)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Adam ached as Alec headed for the door, but he kept his mouth shut. He’d already been unpleasant enough to Alec. It was no wonder Alec didn’t want to be around him anymore. Adam was unlikeable, and he couldn’t seem to change that, no matter how much he wanted to. Any chance he ever might have had with Alec was ruined now that he’d made Alec not want to be around him.

And he still had no idea what Alec wanted, or what would make him happy, which had been all Adam wanted to know.

--

Izzy was in her room, meticulously removing her old and chipped nail polish from her fingers and toes. She looked up curiously when her brother came in like a thundercloud, but didn't stop what she was doing. Alec's face told her that he'd just had a very frustrating fight with someone, but there was no real way to narrow it down. It could have been either of their parents, Jace, Clary, Adam, half the Institute...

"What happened?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him because she knew that he was going to tell her, even if it took some prying.
hondoyota: (just walked in)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Izzy frowned at Alec's spill of words, which didn't tell her much. She'd noticed how quickly Alec and Adam had become inseparable, and the way that their attention fixed on each other whenever they were in the same room, but she hadn't had much time to figure out more than that about what was going on between them.

Something was definitely going on, however. If the Mundane was only Alec's duty and he'd said something crass, Alec would have brushed it off. He dealt with people saying impolite things to him every single day. But whatever this was had deeply upset him in a way he couldn't clearly articulate.

Setting her nail polish remover aside for the moment, she sat forward. Clearly this situation needed her help, but she didn't have enough information to fix it just yet.

"Come here," she ordered, with a sigh. Boys. So dramatic. "Tell me what he did and why you're so upset about it."
hondoyota: (blorp)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
"And?" Izzy prompted. She shifted so that she could stretch out her legs into his lap, poking him in the side with her toe to pry the story out of him. This was going to take some effort. "What did he say?"

She added a base coat and a top coat to his selections, considering the set for a moment before deciding it was acceptable.
hondoyota: (??? + ?? = ??????)

[personal profile] hondoyota 2019-01-02 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
"It's weird that he thinks it's his business," Izzy said, pursing her lips and scowling. Adam had seemed sweet and earnest when she'd met him, not bigoted and controlling. This still didn't make sense. She was missing something of what had happened. Large chunks of what had happened, probably. "Back up and give me the play-by-play. Not just the summary version."

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